off limits ✧ zb1 applyfic

✧ sixty five

Yanmei never liked to submit anything less than perfect. It was disrespectful to her professors, who were always working hard to bolster her creativity and push her to try new things. But it was also disrespectful to herself, who knew she could do much better. Growing up in such a family had without surprise turned her into a bit of a perfectionist, and the high demands she had of other people also applied to her. If she were to let herself fail, how could she hope to be recognized for her effort?

Just this once, though, Yanmei allowed herself to submit a painting she wasn't very proud of. Landscapes just weren't her thing! And she knew this was a bad excuse and that she needed to explore subject matters that she didn't necessarily like if she wanted to grow, but this one had just been too much of a drag. Everyone else's landscapes were a lot better than hers, she realized it, and it killed her not to be the best. But not everything could go her way. In fact, barely anything ever went her way, she thought, as she walked to the door of her classroom.

"Wait, Yanmei," Ms. Jung called after her, and Yanmei let out a sigh.

She spun on her heels to face the professor who stood behind her desk. "Yes?"

"I'd like to speak to you. Come to my office."

As Yanmei followed her into the office, she prepared herself for the inevitable criticism. Ms. Jung knew to give compliments when they were needed, and never kept any praise she felt was warranted. Unfortunately, she had the very same attitude with critiques. Just like she'd praised her painting of Hanbin, she would destroy her landscape.

Ms. Jung shut the door behind them, and turned to her with an unexpected smile. "Congratulations on getting the job at that museum."

"Ah. Yeah. It's... Not too bad, I suppose." She narrowed her eyes, her patience already thinning. "But I'm guessing that's not why you called me here."

"You're right. Yanmei, this landscape you submitted... It's below your skill level. The composition is lackluster, which I sort of understand, since you much prefer portraits. But even your strengths don't come through. The colors are quite dull for a sunset scene."

Well, there it was. Honestly, Yanmei hadn't expected praise. All that Ms. Jung said, she was completely conscious of, and she couldn't find a rebuttal for. Being criticized and pulled apart like this was humiliating, an experience she wished to never feel again. And yet, it didn't feel half as bad as when her parents would simply dismiss her drawings back when she was a child, with a wave of the hand or a shrug of the shoulders. Maybe it was because Ms. Jung had actual reasons to offer, and gave her an explanation. Maybe it was because she actually wanted her to improve, and not just get her out of the way. Constructive criticism was exactly what Yanmei needed to grow into the best version of herself. Still, it was no fun time either.

"All I'm saying is..." Ms. Jung continued, and Yanmei swore she saw something a little feline in her smile. "You don't seem to have put as much passion in this, as you put into your painting of... Hanbin, was it?"

"There we go again."

But Ms. Jung was not ready to stop. "I visited the gallery a few days ago, while you weren't working! One of your colleagues told me that a handsome gentleman had visited you, and seemed very happy to be talking to you."

Did Ms. Jung just have an incredibly boring life at home? She always seemed to enjoy minding other people's business, as if their lives were mere gossip to her. Sometimes, Yanmei felt like she was treated like a TV show. Ms. Jung always did talk about her parents' treatment of her like she was a character in a soap opera... But bringing Hanbin into this was a step too far. Let's just say she already had had enough accusations and completely made up scenarios from Hao.