Jake Webber X Johnnie Guilbert |•One Shots•|

Dear, Jake

Jakes POV:
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I sat outside in the backyard, cigarette in my hand. I had promised Johnnie that I would quit smoking but this time, I needed it. I've been doing it for a while now. I stared at the dark sky, stars lightly shining.

"Jake. It wasn't your fault."  Carrington said as he sat beside me on the grass.

"It was. I should've checked up on him. This would've never happened if I asked him if he was alright." 

A few min passed in silence before Carrington finally spoke up,

"You did ask. You always checked up on him, every single day."

"Then why did he still do it?!"  I tried my hardest to hold my tears in but my frustration made me feel even worse.

Carrington stayed silent before getting up and heading back inside,
"I'll give you some time alone."

I took a deep drag of the cigarette and stared at a certain star in the sky. It shined brighter than the others... just like Johnnie did.
I threw the cigarette away, not caring where it landed. A tear escaped from my eyes and soon, more of them came out of my eyes.

Why did he do it? I should've known. I should've stayed home.

I reached for my back pocket and took a piece of paper. I carefully opened it and started reading it for the 10th time that day.

'Dear, Jake
I just wanted to say that im sorry about this. I never wanted this to happen, especially for you. You were always and I mean always the greatest friends I had ever had.
You were always there for me. I loved recording videos with you. I loved spending time with you. And I especially loved you, Jake.
You always checked up on me because you knew that something was off about me, but I would just simply tell you that I was alright which clearly was a lie.
I didn't do this because of you, incase if you were thinking that (I know you are going to think that bc that's how you are) I did this because I just felt worthless and that you shouldn't have to deal with me anymore.
Im constantly worrying about everything. You don't deserve to always hear me talk about things that worry me or anything. You'll live better without me, we both know it.

I love you a lot, Jake and I always will.'

I fell on my back and broke down in tears. My head hurt a lot due to me crying almost everyday. His death was all my fault. Im the one to blame.
This all happened when I was gone. If I never left the house, he would still be here.

Carrington walked back out and sat beside me, offering me some water.
"You know, he always talked about how much he loved you whenever you weren't around. He loved you so much."

"And now he's gone."

"He's in a better place now. It will be hard for the first couple of months. Everything will get better, trust me. I'll always be here for you."

I sat up and looked over at him. He pulled me in for a hug and accepted me crying on his shoulder. It was something I always let Johnnie do.
I loved him, and I always will.

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I didn't know how to end it😣

Hope you enjoyed this :D