We're Not Related Anymore...

Lilian And Her Girls

Maddie: Present Day

Josh and I don't talk on the ride over. He doesn't ask me where I intend to stay. I guess he guessed that I'll have to stay at Lilian's. Maybe he has a sixth sense and knows I can't afford to put myself up in a motel, never mind a hotel or bed and breakfast. I wonder if he has a place... I know he must still be studying at the local college. He either has a dorm or has rented an apartment. I should really find him on Instagram and do some professional stalking...

By the time we pull up to my stepmother's house, my stomach sits in my throat and I'm wishing I'd made my brother wait by using the showers at the airport. I've got that 'well-travelled' look and it's not ideal. Who wants to run into their loathsome stepmother looking greasy and tired? Not me, that's for sure. When I pictured reuniting with my family, I imagined being someone successful, impressive, and- well- clean.

I try my best to make myself seem presentable. I pull out my phone, open up the camera app, and watch myself in it as I apply lipgloss and tie my hair up in the tightest ponytail humanly possible- that way, my hair doesn't look so bad.

I ignore my brother's disbelieving look as he watches me do this out of the corner of his eye. I don't need to ask him what he's thinking. My twin senses tell me it's this, Vain cow.

I give him a glare of my own. It says this, Stubborn dick. I know he catches my meaning when he cracks the barest of smiles. But I can't celebrate the victory because he's soon parking just outside the house. Lilian must've heard our approach because I see her open up the screen door and wait for us on the porch.

She looks terrible. Her face is bare of make-up and her hair is scraped up in a painful-looking bun. Where's the powerful attorney my father married? This woman looks like she's lost the war.

I suppose she has, I think, as I step out of the car and unload my suitcase from the back of Josh's truck. He gets out of the car and goes straight for our step-mother. I watch as he runs up to her and wraps her up in a bear hug. She squeezes him back just as tightly and I feel something inside of me tighten and look away.

You could've had this, whispers a voice in my head.

But I can't think about that now. The less I think, the better I feel. God, intellectuals must hate me.

The two break off their embrace and step away from each other. When Lilian sees me coming up the steps, she wraps her cardigan tighter around her body. Her glassy eyes lose some of the tears as they harden at the sight of me.

"I wasn't expecting you. Yet," She tells me. I stop in front of her, unsure what to do. I can't hug her, we're not that close. I can't shake her hand- that's too formal. Giving her a fist pump is most certainly a no-no.

So instead, I decide that no physical contact is necessary. "I'm sorry for your loss, Lilian. I know how much you loved my Dad." I don't know if I've said the right or wrong thing because her eyes start tearing up again. She looks away from me and blinks her eyes rapidly.

"You two should come in. It's getting dark."

-

Inside the house, it's exactly as I remember it. It's all open-plan and large windows. I walk into the living room with my stepmother and watch as she reaches for a tissue box that sits on the coffee table. She discreetly wipes at her nose and I train my attention on the large bay window that looks onto the garden. No one will ever know how much I loved that window seat. It was one of the few highlights of living here, snuggling up there with a blanket and a good book. I used to sit there and read for hours on the weekends. Sometimes, I would put down whatever book I was reading and just look outside. The garden, that was something else I loved. I spent hours here cultivating it.