We're Not Related Anymore...

Pandora's Box

Jacob: Present Day

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I raise my free hand and rub at the space between my eyebrows. My other arm has gone numb under the weight of Maddie's head. This is not what I thought would happen when I thought about coming here. 

I thought about having it out, once and for all but now I know we've just made things worse. Sex is never just simple, and try as we might, we're still the same two people we've always been.

Maddie stirs in my arms and I look down at her. Her hair is in her face and I pick a piece of her brown hair off her forehead before smoothing it down. I can't feel half my body but I wouldn't move if my life depended on it. I don't know how long this moment will last and I don't want to end it just yet. 

"Are you watching me sleep?" Maddie mumbles groggily. Her eyes move underneath her lids before she peeks up at me, her eyes narrowed. "That's such a creepy thing to do."

"I know. It's not like we just did worse things," I say, trying to keep my voice level. It's hard when I can practically feel what's happening. She's pulling away from me and not just literally. 

Maddie untangles herself from my chest, running her hands through her mattered hair as she does. "I don't suppose you have a brush or something?" She asks, looking around the hotel room. She winces when she gets to the windows. I forgot to close them last night and now the early morning sun is streaming in with all its overly bright glory. 

"Geez," she says, getting up off the bed. She reaches down on the floor and picks up my T-shirt from last night and throws it on. She doesn't say anything else before she escapes into the bathroom and shuts the door. 

I try to keep busy by cleaning up the mess we've left on the floor. I get dressed in another set of clothes I packed. I try and neaten up her clothes too when I hear her turn the water on for a shower. While I wait, I order room service for breakfast. I figure nothing says romance like having a toasted cheese in random hotel room. 

With nothing to do, I take a seat at the single table in the room. drumming my fingers against the table. I have one last chance to talk to her before she slips away. No more wasting time, I decide, trying to organize my thoughts when I hear the water shut off. 

A second later, she comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body. She finds her clothes that I've attempted to fold. She still doesn't say anything as she grabs them and goes back to the bathroom to change. 

"So this is awkward," she says when she's done. Her hair hangs wet around her and she hovers behind the other chair at the table. I know she doesn't want to sit down. She wants to leave but doesn't know what words she can say before she does that. 

"Sit down. I ordered breakfast," I tell her, watching her eyes grow weary. She bites her lip. "It's just breakfast," I say and she finally pulls the chair out. 

"What did you order me?" She asks. 

"A toasted cheese," I say and she nods, not looking at me. "So," I start, blowing out a breath. "About last night..."

"It was a mistake?" She says, her voice strained. She looks up at me under her lashes and I nod. "Let's just pretend it didn't happen. I mean, you're going back, right? And we'll only have to see each other again in a few weeks at the wedding."

"How many times are we going to brush things under the rug?" I ask, my voice tired. I slump back into my chair watching her shrink back into herself. 

"I never know how to have these conversations, Jacob. They hurt. It's like swallowing glass and it's just easier when we ignore everything."