We're Not Related Anymore...

Comfort From A Friend

Maddie: Three Years Ago

I decide not to tell Jacob about what Tessa said. As I walk home, I pull out his phone and go through his pictures. I find the ones that scandalized Tessa and quickly delete them. They're honestly not that bad. I was expecting to find some stalkerish photo he'd taken of me but it's just two pictures of me in my swimming costume from a few days ago. But I guess, seeing that we're practically related, it doesn't look good.

By the time I get home, I feel like the bright sunny day has already been ruined. I feel terrible. It was never my intention to humiliate Tessa but I guess I can see where she's coming from.

She used to perform soliloquies about Jacob. If our situations were reversed and I was going on about a guy only to find out she was secretly dating him behind my back, I'd be mortified too. But how do I fix this? There's not exactly a greeting card that says, Sorry I Didn't Tell You That I Made Out With Your Crush and My Step-Brother.

By the time I get home, I go straight to my room. I have no idea where anyone else is nor do I care. Not even Josh's supposed make-out session with Betty Rowlands makes me want to seek him out. And I love learning juicy gossip even when the subject is my brother.

I decide to study but give up quickly, groaning when I reread the same line about Stalin more than twice. I'm about ready to beat myself with my textbook when my phone rings. Thinking it's Tessa ready to hear my verbal vomit of excuses, I spring off my bed and rush to my phone. But it's just my mom and my hopefulness fades.

"Hi," I say when she picks up. There's a lot of background noise from her side and I have to remove the phone from my ear. "Where are you?"

"Antarctica!" She tells me loudly and now I can recognize the sound for what it is: Swirling gusts of wind. "I'm on assignment taking photos. Listen, this is a quick call, I just wanted to ask: Are you still coming to New Jersey?"

"Yes," I say, hoping she isn't about to ditch me. We've made tentative plans to spend a long weekend there together but if she ditches me for work...

"And your brother?" She asks, and I breathe a sigh of relief, realizing she's just confirming plans and not ditching me.

"You'll have to call him yourself," I say, going over to my bookshelf and deciding on a book to read. There's no way I'm going to get any studying done at this rate.

"Ok. Thanks for letting me, honey. I love you and I'll see you soon," she says, ending the call before I can tell her the same.

I hear someone else's phone ring and know Josh is also receiving his parental call for the day. I hear a knock on my door and abandon my search for a good read to see who it is.

Jacob stands fully clothed and awake when I open my door. "Since when do you knock?" I ask, stepping back to let him in.

He leaves the door open and takes a seat at the desk I have in my room. "It seemed like the friendly thing to do. Anyway, where's my phone?" He asks, holding out his hand, his expression guarded.

I dig it out from where I hid it in my desk drawer. I have to lean over him to do so and he respectfully moves out of my touch.

"Don't worry. I already deleted the pictures," I tell him and his expression turns guilty in an instant.

"Maddie, I can explain-" I hold up my hand to stop him.

"Relax, Jacob. I get it. What's done is done."

"Does Tessa..." He trails off his cheeks turning pink again.

"Unfortunately," I say with a sigh. "But like your grandmother, I doubt she'll say anything." Try as I might, the bitterness I'm feeling comes out in my tone. Jacob senses it immediately, and his posture straightens up.

"Did you two have a fight?" He asks, placing the phone in his denim jacket, the same one I wore last night.

"Yeah," I say, looking away. I feel like crying. He stands up and turns me around so that I face him again.

"What did she say to you?" He asks, his voice is soft and gentle. For some reason, his kindness makes me feel even more emotional.

"She thinks I set out to humiliate her by not telling her about us and now she won't even talk to me. She's the only friend I have here and now... now I don't have anyone." Before I've even finished my sentence, Jacob has pulled me into a hug.

For once, I allow myself to respond to him without overthinking every action. I wrap my arms around his narrow waist. He rests his chin on my head and starts stroking my back with gentle motions.

"That's not true, you know. You have me and Shelley- you know she loves you more than anything, right? And even Mary. You're not alone anymore," he says, and I sink my face further into his shirt, inhaling the clean smell of the laundry detergent.

This is alright, right? Friends hug each other. So do stepsiblings. He's just comforting me after having a shitty morning. We're not breaking our unwritten rules.

"I was worried... after our argument last night that you'd want nothing more to do with me," I confess, feeling bold since I don't have to look at him.

"I was angry but I won't pull that shit again, Maddie. You were right and... I don't want to ruin this."

His words are spoken softly and worm their way into my heart. Last night, when he wrote these words to me, I thought he meant he didn't want to ruin this family. Because nothing throws a spanner in the works faster than two stepsiblings shacking up under the same roof.

But now that I hear his words out loud, I wonder if he means this. Us. Maybe he means he doesn't want to ruin what we have.

I pull away from him, glad I never ended up crying on him. His arms drop back to his sides but he doesn't step back from me.

"You're a good friend, Jacob," I say, choosing my words carefully.

His eyes become guarded again but he answers with a half-smile. "Yeah, I think I'll soon get the hang of this."