We're Not Related Anymore...

Passing Notes

Maddie: Three Years Ago

I'm getting ready for bed when I see the note slip under my door. I place the face cream I was applying down on my vanity table, walk to where the note is, and crouch down by the door. 

I'm sorry about earlier. You're right. I don't want to ruin this.

I look at the words. They're written in such a precise way that I wonder if my sender has more to say. I dig around in my backpack for my pen and scribble my own note. 

Why can't you say this to my face?

I hope I'm right in thinking he's still waiting behind the door for my note. I slide the note under the door, barely breathing until it slides back to me. 

I let out a sigh of relief, grateful I was correct in my guess. 

Looking at you pisses me off, is scrawled under my question. I roll my eyes, already writing my response. 

You're such a charmer. 

I know the moment he gets my note because I hear him laugh through the door. The sound makes me smile shyly. 

Friends? He writes back. 

Just friends is my hastily written answer. 

He doesn't pass the paper back again and I wonder if he's left. I'm still leaning against my door on the floor, praying that he hasn't. 

"Maddie?" I hear him whisper, almost inaudible through the wood separating us. 

"Yeah," I whisper back, my heart racing at just the sound of his voice. 

"Goodnight," he says, and the smile I didn't realize I was still wearing falls off my face. I thought he had more to say.

"Goodnight," I whisper back, hearing the sound of him getting up off the floor. I listen to his footsteps until they stop. I don't get up from my spot, a feeling so intense weighing me down. I don't know what it is. I've never felt this kind of sadness before. I clutch at my T-shirt, wishing the feeling would just go away. But it doesn't and I eventually fall asleep in that same position.

-

When I wake up, the first thing I feel is the stiffness in my shoulder. Note to self, sleeping against the door does not qualify as beauty sleep. I stand up, groaning and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I go over to my bed, flop down on the still-made covers, and grope around on the bedstand for my phone. It's barely alive but I click through it anyway. 

I'm fully awake when I see a message Tessa sent me at midnight.

Tessa: Please call me back when you get this. It's about Jacob. 

I do as her message tells me and immediately dial her number. It rings until it goes to voicemail. I'm about to call her again when her message bubbles appear. 

Tessa: Can't call right now. Just let Jacob know he left his phone at Betty's by accident. You can come by and fetch it later.

As I read her message, I vaguely remember hearing something heavy fall to the ground before Jacob and I got home. I look over to where I draped his denim jacket over my chair. I stand up and go over to the chair, slipping the black jacket over my shoulders as I get ready to text her back. 

Me: You're such a lifesaver. I can't believe he forgot his phone. 

I see the bubbles appear and then fade three times before I stop waiting for her response. 

Me: Can I come over to pick it up soon? I'll make Jacob buy you something to say thanks. 

This time, her reply is almost immediate.