Child of the Moon

We Break Into Jail

I'd seen Hera once before at a Council of the Gods, but I hadn't paid much attention to her.  At the time I'd been surrounded by a bunch of other gods who were debating whether or not to kill me and Percy. I didn't remember her looking so normal.  Of course, gods are usually twenty feet tall when they're on Olympus, so that makes them look a lot less normal.  But now, Hera looked like a regular person, how the fucking hell does Zeus even consider cheating?  She's so pretty.  She served us sandwiches and poured lemonade.

Hera: Grover, dear.  Use your napkin.  Don't eat it.

Grover: Yes, ma'am.

Hera: Tyson, you're wasting away.  Would you like another peanut butter sandwich?

Tyson stifled a belch.

Tyson: Yes, nice lady.

Annabeth: Queen Hera... I can't believe it.  What are you doing in the Labyrinth?

Hera smiled.  She flicked one finger and Annabeth's hair combed itself.  All the dirt and grime disappeared from her face.  Even with it she looked incredible, but now she was... uh... really really hot.

Hera: I came to see you, naturally.

We all exchanged nervous looks.  Usually when the gods come looking for you, it's not out of the goodness of their hearts.  It's because they want something.  Still, that didn't keep me from chowing down on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I hadn't realized how hungry I was.  Tyson was inhaling one peanut butter sandwich after another, and Grover was loving the lemonade, crunching the styrofoam cup like an ice cream cone.  Percy was happily munching on a turkey and swiss cheese sandwich.

Annabeth: I didn't think... well, I didn't think you liked heroes.

Hera smiled indulgently.

Hera: Because of that little spat I had with Hercules?  Honestly, I got so much bad press because of one disagreement.

YN: Didn't you try to kill him, like, a lot of times?

Hera waved her hand dismissively.

Hera: Water under the bridge, child.  Besides, he was one of my loving husband's children by another woman.  My patience wore thin, I'll admit.  But Zeus and I have had some excellent marriage counseling sessions since then.  We've aired our feelings and come to an understanding.  Especially after that last little incident.

Percy: You mean when he sired Thalia?

I immediately wished he hadn't said that.  As soon as he said the name of our friend, the Half-blood daughter of Zeus, Hera's eyes turned toward him frostily.

Hera: Percy Jackson, isn't it?  One of Poseidon's... children.

I got the feeling she was thinking of another word besides children.

Hera: As I recall, I voted to let you live at the winter solstice.  I hope I voted correctly.

She turned back to Annabeth with a sunny smile.

Hera: At any rate, I certainly bear you no ill will, my girl.  I appreciate the difficulty of your quest.  Especially when you have troublemakers like Janus to deal with.

Annabeth lowered her gaze.  I rubbed her back and she smiled at me, before turning back to Hera.

Annabeth: Why was he here?  He was driving me crazy.

Hera: He was trying to.  You must understand, the minor gods like Janus have always been frustrated by the small parts they play in the universe.  Some, I fear, have little love for Olympus, and could easily be swayed to support the rise of my father.