Commander's Rounds Volume 1

Entry 84: Northern Service

"Good morning, Commander! I'm at least assuming that it's morning where you are."

The commander knew immediately who was calling him. That received pronunciation, that feigned cheerfulness. It was the head of Royal Navy Intelligence, Reginald Hunt. "Hello, Vice Admiral Hunt. Wouldn't that make it rather late where you are?"

"Well, commander, you're making the assumption that you know where I am. Look, I know I don't speak to you very often, and that's an arrangement that suits both of us, but there has been something I've been meaning to ask about a matter that is of some recent concern to both of us."

The commander nodded. "All right, what is it?"

He could hear Admiral Hunt taking a deep breath at the other end. "Commander, I want to hear from you whether something that has happened of late was just our imagination, but there was either a nuclear explosion in your area of operation, or there was some awfully loud trick of the light."

It was no use lying- Admiral Hunt didn't have much keeping him distracted, so he probably knew the truth already. "Yeah, it was an atomic weapon."

"Really? That's unfortunate. Is everyone all right?"

"Yeah," The commander began. "It's not Nevada's first time at that kind of rodeo, anyway. Seattle is holding a party for her after she's fully cleaned up, because there aren't really any get well soon cards for a nuclear blast."

"Splendid!" There was a pause. "Now, I don't really care if you have some spicy rocks stored away for a rainy day, but I have been told quite emphatically of late that you're not really supposed to have those sorts of weapons. It makes some people nervous for a non-state actor to have the tools of Armageddon rattling about for reasons I'm sure that an intelligent young man like you can appreciate. They're willing to mind their business about many things, but this is not one of them."

The commander paused. "I'd thought you would've minded a bit more."

Admiral Hunt continued. "Commander, for all practical purposes, the Kansen are far more destructive than any atomic weapon, because Kansen are actually meant to be used, and used extensively. The only acceptable use of an atomic weapon in international polite society is as leverage, or in some under-the-table dealings, as an incentive. So, tell me how you are going to explain this, so that I know how to explain it."

The commander paused. "I don't see why they're asking you. Besides, why might they suspect me?"

"Well, commander, Siren weapons aren't usually so prosaic, and you have more experience with that than anyone. Now I'll certainly say it wasn't you. If you did have atomic weapons- only for the sake of argument, of course- then you don't seem the fellow that would just throw them around in dribs and drabs against the Sirens, but rather wait until you had a moment when you could really hit them for six, if I've read you right."

The commander sighed. "All right. What happened was that we encountered an enemy humanoid weapon that decided to nuke one of our Kansen just to see what happened."

"And you're sure they won't try that again?"

He nodded on reflex, even though he was sure that Admiral Hunt couldn't see him. "Aside from the Mirror Seas, when have they ever used the same trick twice, after we've shown that it won't really work on us?"

"I think I can work with that. and I'm sure that if there was an inspection party, they would find no evidence of nuclear weapons or their construction?"

"None at all."

Admiral Hunt paused, as though he were writing something down. "All right, I can put something together in a jiffy for the committee. I can say that my man on the inside- who is about as real as the Yeti, I assure you- found nothing because there was nothing to find. And no, minister, the whole operation is classified, international security, thank you, good day to you. Anything else?"