!TW - Anxiety, PTSD, Bad Thoughts!
Charlies pov-
My whole head hurts. I stand in the doorway and it feels like the whole classroom is spinning. With slow steps I enter and take my seat, put my head in my hands.
"Hey Charlie, I have to tell you-". Tao enters the classroom, as happy and excited as always. But he stops mid-sentence when I lift my head from my hands and our eyes meet.
"Wh..what has happened?" He asks quietly as he sits down on the chair next to me. I look down at the table and just shake my head, hoping he'll let it go. But of course not, it's Tao we're talking about.
"Is it Nick? So I'm going to kill-"
"It's not Nick" I interrupt angrily. I take a deep breath before continuing more calmly.
"It has nothing to do with the Nick. I feel fine". That was a big lie tho. I see from the corner of my eye how Tao is not completely convinced, but he still leaves the topic of this conversation and tells me what he wanted from the beginning.
More and more people enter the classroom. Everyone is looking at me and whispering, discussing with each other what has happened to me.
Look at him
Has he been in a fight?
Can Charlie spring get into fights?
What a fool, has been beaten
The thought of the big bruise around my eye just makes me think back to yesterday - and I'd rather forget it. But it does not work. Images and thoughts start spinning in my head, and I feel my whole body begin to shake uncontrollably. I try to keep my breathing under control, but with each breath I take, it feels like the air in the room is disappearing more and more.
"Or what do you say Charlie?" I suddenly hear Tao say next to me and I immediately realize how I have been in another world for a few seconds, or maybe for minutes even. I've just been in my head reliving yesterday. Beside me on my left now sits Isaac too, when did he get here? I feel so confused right now.
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On the way home from school, my dirty white converse splash in the puddles of water on the streets. The rain has stopped falling from the sky, but the water remains on the ground. I walk with slow, heavy and gloomy steps towards my house - with each step I take the anxiety grows even more within me. My gaze is down to the ground and I just feel so tired right now - somewhat feeling disconnected from life.
On the way home I pass Nick's house. In one of the windows you can see how the ceiling lamp in the kitchen gives off a yellowish light. I stand still for a while and look at the front door of his house, wondering if I should continue the way home or if I should knock on his door. The decision inside me is like a debate with a devil and an angel - one says yes, the other says no.
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A/N - Hi and sorry for a shorter chapter, hope you liked it anyway!
I really need your help tho, cause I don't know how to continue this story :( Please write anything you would like to read- it can be a feeling, a situation, a person, a place or anything else really! 🤍
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