!TW - Anxiety, Self Harm, Panic Attack!
Charlie's POV -
Someone comes and sits in front of me. I can't bear to care anymore, I just want to leave this world. The person gently grabs my hand.
"It's okay, she's gone now" the voice says softly. A soft, calm voice I recognize. A voice I feel safe with. With watery eyes I look up from my hands and see Nick sitting in front of me. How long has he been here?
My body is still shaky and I still feel like I'm still in a panic mood. But having Nick by my side makes me feel a certain sense of security.
"We have to get out of here, you can't stay here" Nick says and I hesitate at first. But Nick takes my hand and gently pulls me to my feet. I'm so tired and exhausted that I now trust Nick completely, let him lead me out of the house.
—
It's incredibly cold outside, but the fresh air helps me to calm down. We start walking towards Nick's house and with every step I take a piece of my anxiety disappears. It's quiet between us, but it's a comfortable silence at the same time. Nick holds my hand and refuses to let go - his presence feels like real security right now.
After a while of walking in silence, it's like something comes over me. I stop in the middle of the sidewalk and starts crying. I let all my tears come out and I release all my emotions I've been holding in all day, all week. Nick embraces me slowly, and I lay my head against his chest and continue to cry.
"Nick.." I say with a trembling voice.
"I.. I don't k-know what to do.." I try to explain my feelings more, but all the tears stop me from being able to speak.
"Shhh. You don't have to say anything, now we'll go to my house first... okay?" says Nick softly but firmly, and I nod.
—
Back at Nick's house, we go straight up to his room. I sit on his bed, and he sits next to me. I feel a lump in my throat and the tears threaten to start flowing again, but I try to keep it all in. I feel like such a burden. Why should Nick have to put up with my problems?
"Charlie... you don't need to say or tell me anything right now..." Nick begins but pauses briefly, and with pounding heart I fear what he will say next.
"But... the scissors? Why was it there, bloody?" He asks cautiously and I hear the worry in his voice. I feel shame and fear fill my body, but Nick grabs my hand and squeezes it a little tighter - as a way of saying he's there for me.
"I.. I cut myself.." I admit in a voice that is barely audible. I feel the tears starting to run down my cheeks again and images from the past few weeks come back.
"Please don't be mad..." I whisper, wiping away my tears with the sleeve of my hoodie.
YOU ARE READING
A story about love
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