Drugs & Dior

Chapter 14

Angela

"Get in your places everyone!"

I'm in a room full of girls. There are no white lights, only purple, red, green, yellow, blue, you get the gist. The room is completely dark other than the LEDs.

"And GO!"

The first model starts walking out. She walks with so much confidence it's almost suffocating, her strides are long and her dress flows elegantly behind her. The next model starts walking.

My legs begin to shake, how can I do what they do? How can I be as good as them? How can I be better?

I can't.

"Angela!? Oh my gosh, Angela!" I turn to whoever is calling me and my jaw drops to the floor when I see Claire. She somehow remembered me.

"Claire?!"

Claire rushes past everyone in the line and hugs me. "I heard what happened, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I smile. "I'm here to stay this time. Vanessa's making sure of that."

"That's amazing news!" Claire's hug gets somehow tighter. "You should stay by my side tonight," she says, releasing me. "These parties can get crazy."

My heart sinks to my stomach. "Crazy how?" I ask.

"Drinking, sex, reckless driving. The list goes on. But if you stick with me, you'll be safe."

"Really?" I study her face for a hint of anything but come up empty handed.

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll be with you." I don't have any other friends here yet so what harm could it do?

"Perfect! Tonight is going to be fun, trust me."

"I don't know if I'm ready to party like that..." my stomach is twisting at the thought of getting drunk and blacking out like my dad. It's twisting at the thought of partying the night away like my mom.  I don't want to be them. I'm still trying to get them out of my head. Get their methods out of my bones.
But they are deep inside of me, their ideas are pumped from my heart through my body like blood cells. Each idea making me less and less likely to succeed.

I'm rambling to myself, pathetic.

"We can always go home whenever you want. I'll handle everything, if you don't like it I'll take you home we'll order a pizza and watch a movie or play a game, does that sound good?"

I nod.

"Perfect."

"CLAIRE! GET BACK IN YOUR SPOT!" One of the directors screams. Claire rolls her eyes and winks at me.

"You'll do great out there, confidence! It's everything. Be confident! You got the looks, the bod, now you need the mindset," she's walking away as she's telling me this. This feels straight out of a movie. I nod and laugh as she trips on her own feet getting back in line.

My turn is coming up and my fingers are getting fidgety, my eyes are roaming the crowd, for who? I don't know. My stomach is doing summersaults and I'm getting nervous if it doesn't stop soon, I might throw up like I did last time.

"You got this," I hear Claire's voice tell me. She's probably one of the nicest people I've met in my life and I've only spoken to her a handful of times.

"ANGELA, ITS TIME FOR YOU TO GO!"

And so I go.

I walk with all the confidence I can muster hoping the crowd can't see through my act. I'm wearing very little clothing, my entire back is covered though. I'm sure there's a pretty huge bruise in the center of my back from when my dad...