Drugs & Dior

Chapter 16

Angela

I take Vanessa to my apartment and close the door. She's in hysterics, I never thought I'd see her like this. She's the last person on this earth I thought I'd see like this. She seems so put together and perfect that her crying like this really makes her more... real to me.

"I'm sorry," she cries to me, wiping her cheeks with the palm of her hand. I lead her to my couch and we sit down. "I really... I didn't mean for you to ever see me like this."

"I know what you mean," I tell her. "There's plenty of things in my life I wish nobody ever found out. I get it."

"I need to tell you something," she tells me, taking a deep breath and composing herself.

"Anything," I respond. "You can tell me anything."

"I just want you to know, I'm not freaking out about you being with him over night for no reason, understand?"

I nod.

She takes a deep breath before beginning.

"Damon is known for his... explicit... sex life. He's aggressive and mean and has the same view of girls as a lot of rapists. He sees them as a piece of cake for him to devour." She takes another breath. "I—" another. "I was once that girl, that fell victim to a man who thought I was a piece of cake in need of devouring." Vanessa pauses to catch her breath, compose herself again.

"I thought he was my friend. My entire friend group had gone out after a show and we drank, a lot. I had never been the type of person to get drunk, I'd drink, yes, but never get drunk. I liked having control of my actions, thoughts, words. I knew something was off once I started feeling loopy. I knew something was off when I couldn't send a text message without my phone teleporting out of my hand. Before I knew it, he was on top of me in a bed I didn't recognize and we we're completely alone. I screamed 'no'. I begged him to stop. He didn't listen. Once he had... finished... inside of me, he got up and left. I was too drugged up to be able to move. I laid there in that bed, his cum inside of me, for days before someone found me."

I hold my breath. Tears prick my eyes. I don't know what to say, how to respond. I'm... confused. I'm sad and angry for this woman who deserved better than that, better than to be violated by someone she considered a friend.

"I don't want you..." tears are streaming down her face now. "To fall victim to someone like him. Because... I know how it feels to be violated like that and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's a dehumanizing thing, the process of turning the man in, having to be tested... rape kits. Most women don't speak up. I don't want you to be apart of something like that, so please, Angela. Promise me you'll be careful with who you hang around, who you sleep with."

"I will," I tell her, a single tear running down my cheek. "I promise."

We hug and it feels like the right thing to do. I can feel Vanessa's emotions so strongly through the contact that I almost pull away in pure shock, but the feeling is addicting. So addicting, I can't stop holding onto her as if she's going to vanish into thin air if I let go.

She pulls away after a few moments and wipes her tears. She laughs at herself but I just stare at her, I can see the broken in her. She's trying to hide it from me, trying to be strong for me. But I don't need her strength. I have enough of my own, enough even to help her.