the back of the courtyard (frerard)

Chapter twelve

Gerard:

Frank wanted me to leave? He didn't want me with him anymore? He didn't want me around anymore? Move back to California... I'm not moving back to California I want to stay here with him.

"No." I said simply to him, just to get the point that I was not moving back through to him. "Gee, I want you to be safe. I need you to be safe and I think you will be safe in California. It's not safe for you here right now." He said to me. "No. You don't understand. I don't want to go back to California. I love it here."

"I have you, and I don't want to lose you by moving somewhere when I could just stay here." I said it, trying to make him stop trying to convince me to leave.

"Gee... people want to hurt you, baby. I don't want you to be hurt." He said sadly, holding one of my hands and his other hand on my waist. "Who could possibly want to hurt me" I said it, zero emotion in my voice. I looked up at him with my jaw clenched and I held his hand tighter.

"I don't want you to have to worry about it." He said, rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand.

"Then why the fuck would you bring it up!!" I yelled at him. "Gerard don't yell at me." He said sternly.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do. I could be in trouble and have someone wanting to kill me and you're not even fucking telling me who it is!!! This is bullshit!! Just fucking take me to school and leave me alone I'll be fine no one wants to hurt me you fucking asshole!" I yelled at him.

The moment I did that, I realized it was wrong.

I realized that it might have upset him.

But it didn't.

Because all he did was scream back.

"Gerard way don't fucking talk to me like that!!! I'm trying to help you so stop being a fucking bratty stuck up bitch and grow up! I'm trying to keep you safe and you're screaming at me!! Just shut the fuck up you dumbass whore!" He yelled.

Louder than what I yelled.

I backed away from him. Backing into a corner. What I said to him was wrong. I shouldn't have ever said that. I didn't want him to get that mad at me. I didn't like that.

My eyes watered and my breathing sped up to a quick pace. His fists relaxed and his face fell empathetic when he realized what he did to me. The things he called me.

Maybe that's all I was to him. A bratty bitch.

A stuck up dumb ass whore.

He walked to me slowly, making sure he didn't startle me before he embraced me. I clung on to him like my life depended on it because I was scared that I was going to get hurt.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you angel. Poor baby. I'm sorry."

That's when I broke down. In his arms.

His shirt changed from gray to black because of all the tears I let out. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Frankie. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I started panicking. I could barely breathe and I was shaking.

"Hey you're okay shhh. I want you to breathe for me okay Angel?" He said to me. I nodded and gulped. "Good boy. Good job. Slow breaths in and out. Just relax. Tell me something you can see." He said to me.

"You"

"Good. Tell me something you can hear." He said.

"Your voice."

"Good job honey. Tell me something you can touch."

"Your wet shirt." I said quietly.

He smiled. "Tell me something you can smell." He whispered to me.

"Your cologne" I whispered back.

"Now tell me something you can taste." He said the last step to calming me down.

I couldn't think of a particular taste. So I leaned up a bit and kissed him. His chapstick tasted almost like mangoes. I pulled away and smiled while licking my lips and looking at him.

"Waxy mango chapstick." I said.

"Good job baby. Good job. I'm so proud of you. You did amazing. All better now." He said to me while smiling and brushing his fingers through my hair.

I smiled. My breathing was steadier. He helped. A lot. "Thank you for helping me Frankie" I whispered into his shirt that was still stained black from my wet tears from just a few minutes ago.

"You're welcome angel. I would do anything for you. It doesn't matter what it is. If you need something, im here for you." He said, kissing the side of my face.

"Thank you." I smiled. I looked up at him for a moment.

There was a strangely awkward silence before I finally spoke to him once again.

"I love you."

————-

A bit of a filler I haven't updated in a long time