the back of the courtyard (frerard)

Chapter fifteen

*im skipping the nsfw part for right now I'm too lazy I might update this chapter and write it in a few days*

Franks pov:

Gerard was laying next to me. He was panting and his legs were shaking. He had sweat on his forehead. I pulled him a little closer to me and he relaxed a little bit. I pulled a blanket over him and kissed his forehead. I had just put Gerard through more than he probably had ever been through before. I knew he was hurt at certain points but every time I asked him if he needed me to stop or if I was hurting him, he quickly denied it so I would keep going.

Gerard had his eyes closed. He seemed like he could fall asleep but I think he had too many things to think about to be able to fall asleep. We didn't really have any plans today and I wanted to give him something to do I just had no ideas.

He sighed and I looked at him. "You okay?" I asked. He opened his eyes and looked up at me. All he did was nod and that worried me. "Is anything wrong?" He shook his head once and closed his eyes tight. "If you don't tell me what's wrong I can't help you" I said. He tensed up and scooted away a little bit. He looked up at me, seeming upset. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Please don't ever say that to me" I whimpered. His hands were shaking. I looked at him, confused. "Why?" I said. "That sentence alone brings back a lot of bad memories for me" he said. I nodded. "I'm sorry for saying it I had no idea about that, love." I said. "Can I know what the memories are?" I asked. It was a dumb and personal question and I shouldn't have asked that. He shook his head quickly and scooted further from me, turning his back toward me.

I put my hand on his back. "I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry for asking you don't have to tell me." I said trying to help as much as I could with how he felt. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Please don't make me talk about this." He said. "Hey... honey I won't force you or make you talk about anything if you don't want to. I'm sorry for asking okay? Come here please." I whispered to him. He moved a little closer, seeming cautious. I pulled him closer and hugged him.

"You can talk to me about anything you need to. I'm sorry for asking I was just curious I understand that it's private to you and none of my business." He nodded and put his head down on my chest. He had his eyes closed really tight and his hands were closed around my shirt extremely tight. "I want you to know that you're safe with me and I won't hurt you" I said. "Don't be afraid or scared or ashamed of anything around me because I'll never hurt you." I said. "I want you to feel supported with me" I said, seeming a bit upset.

"I do." That was all he said. Very simple and quick. "Feeling supported by me means you can tell me anything." I shouldn't have kept pushing this conversation on him because he took that as me trying to get him to tell me about his memories. "Stop trying to convince me to tell you about it I don't want to! Please stop trying to get me to tell you about it I'm not comfortable with talking about it. P-Please stop." His eyes watered and I put my hand in his hair. I ran my hand through his hair.

"I'm not trying to convince you that honey I'm sorry." I said. I closed my eyes for a second and sighed. "Go get in the shower you're sweaty. I'll be there in a second if you want me to." I said. He looked at me and seemed like he was thinking for just a moment. Then he looked away. "I think I want to shower alone." I felt denied but his choice was okay with me. I nodded, took the blanket off of him and helped him up and into the bathroom since his legs were weak.

"Can you leave while I take my clothes off?" He asked, looking at me. I understood why he was upset and wouldn't want me around him at the moment but I wasn't even Allowed to see him while he got undressed? I didn't understand that at all and it honestly made me mad that he wasn't letting me. But I wasn't going to go against his wishes. I sighed, nodded, and left the bathrooms shutting the door. I sat on the edge of the bed and closed my eyes, trying to think of why he was limiting me on what I was allowed to do. I heard the shower turn on and my eyes started watering.

*what's going on with gee has something to do with his memories he not doing it because he hates Frank I swear*