the back of the courtyard (frerard)

Chapter thirteen

TW: SH
Frank:

Gee didn't go to school that day. And I didn't go to work. Throughout the entire day, gee would have several breakdowns. He would scream at me, try to punch me, and cry. I tried to help him but through some of these breakdowns, he wouldn't allow me to help him.

"I'm gonna kill myself" he whispered to himself. I heard a bit of what he said but not all of it. "Repeat that for me, baby." I said because I wanted to hear what he had told me. He shook his head. Gee was sitting on the carpet playing with a red stuffed toy that he found In the closet at my house. He sniffed and wiped his nose.

He stood up and started walking somewhere in the house. "Gee baby, where are you going?" I asked him. "Bathroom." He said just loud enough for me to hear him. "When you come back I wanna talk to you okay?" I asked. He simply said "mhm" and walked up the stairs to go to the bathroom.

I waited. For several minutes. He hadn't come back down and I started to worry about him. "Gee bear, you okay?" I yelled to him. I heard a little whimper from the bottom of the stairs so I ran as quickly as I could upstairs. I tried to open the bathroom door but it was locked. I heard gee crawl over to the door and unlock it. I opened it quickly and pulled him into my arms, holding him like he was a child.

Then i noticed something. There were smears of blood in the corner of the bathroom. As well as small drops from the corner to the door. Gee was clinging on to me. He held onto my really tight and his eyes were shut tight.

"Honey are you bleeding?" I asked him, setting him down on the floor and sitting next to him. He nodded. "Where?" I asked. He said, "I-I did something not good, frankie." He whispered. "What happened baby? Are you okay?" I asked him. He lifted up his arms and showed me. I held one of his arms gently. Not gentle enough. He quickly pulled his arm away and said "ouchie!" Loud enough for the neighborhood to hear him. "Honey I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you." I whispered.

He had 5 cuts on one arm and four on the other. "Why would you do this to yourself baby?" I whispered. "Because you don't love me." He said, quietly. My face dropped because I finally realized that when he told me he loved me, I didn't say it back. In fact I didn't say anything.

"Baby no no, I love you. I love you a lot. I didn't mean to make you want to do this to yourself. You're worth more than this honey." I whispered in his ear. He crawled onto my lap and hugged me. I hugged him back, rubbing his back and kissing the side of his face and his neck to soothe him. I heard a tiny sob come from his mouth. "Shh it's okay, baby. It's okay" I whispered, rubbing his back and keeping my other hand on his waste. I didn't care if he got blood on me.

"Want me to start you a bath baby?" I said to him. He sniffed, pulled away from the hug, and then he nodded. I smiled slightly and stood up. I kissed his forehead and got bath water running. I used bubbles and a bath bomb to turn the water pink. "Want me to take the bath with you or do you just want to take it by yourself?" I asked him. He pointed to me and I smiled. I turned the jets in the bath on low for him. I undressed him, looking into his eyes for permission each time I moved to a new piece of clothing. When all his clothes were off, I picked him up and set him in the bath.

He leaned against the bath and seemed much more relaxed. Before he got in the bath I cleaned up his wounds so they wouldn't get infected. I cleaned the blood that was smeared and dripped on the floor and threw the towel in the trash can. I then undressed and got in the bath across from him. As I got in, he crawled over so he could lay his head on my chest.

He closed his eyes and I played with his damp hair. I kissed his forehead and started washing his hair for him. Gee had the cutest short white hair. I conditioned his hair and washed it out. We sat in the bath for a while, just relaxing and talking to each other. Every now and then I checked up on him to make sure he was okay and happy. Every time he said he was.

We got out of the bath and got dressed. He wore a pink skirt and an oversized white hoodie. I picked him up and carried him downstairs where his parents and a boy I've seen around school were waiting for us in my living room.