the back of the courtyard (frerard)

Chapter sixteen (update)

(A real update this time)

Gerard:

I had been distancing myself. Because the moment he said that line to me, memories flooded my brain. I was upset and frustrated by everything I was thinking about in one short moment that I forgot about the things that mattered. but I was too scared to apologize.

A little while after I had gotten out of the shower, I sat on the bed. Frank was in the closet getting dressed. I looked all around the room and sighed. "You okay?" He asked from the closet. "Yes, I'm okay. Why are you asking?" I asked him with a loud voice so he could hear me. "You sighed and I thought maybe it meant you were upset." He walked out of the closet, "you know, you can talk to me, Gee. I said I would be here for you." He said.

"I know. I just don't like talking about it." I said back. A flat tone in my voice. "Well maybe, talking about it would help you. Whether the person you talk to about it is me, or even a professional." He smiled and sat next to me. "Are you saying I need a therapist or something?" I said, slightly offended. "No of course not gee. That's something you decide. I just didn't know if having one would help you or not. That you have options of people to talk to. I could even pay for therapy if you do end up going." He said. He was looking down at my hands and rubbing his hand on my leg up and down one area.

I looked at him and his eyes followed mine. We made eye contact and I took a deep breath. "I'll think about it." His face lit up, "that's gre-!" I stoped him. "But, even if I do, I can't always talk about those things. Sometimes the words just don't come out of my mouth. I struggle with talking about difficult subjects even with professionals." I said. He nodded and smiled. "Whatever works the best for you is what we'll do." He held my hand and kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry for distancing myself earlier. You don't deserve that." I rubbed his hand with my thumb. "It's okay, gee. I understand that happens. Just talk to me next time. I'll always be here for you." He hugged me and I hugged him back.
 
"Wanna go out for dinner? I'll pay to make it up to you." I smiled as I spoke. "That would be really nice, love. What time?" He asked. "Probably like 7:30 or so." I smiled. "Okay. Sounds good" he said. I laid down on the bed against the headboard and he followed me, laying on his side, playing with my shirt and drawing patterns on my stomach with his fingers. "Your makeup is so pretty, gee." He said. I giggled. "I'm not wearing any." I said. "Oh. Well I guess you really are just that beautiful." My cheeks turned slightly red and I faced him. His hand slid down to my waist.

"I love everything about you." I whispered. "I love you." He said. I looked into his eyes. "You do?" I said. He nodded and smiled. I hesitated. Then a huge dumb smile formed on my face and I hugged him with my arms around his neck. "I love you too" I whispered. "Say it again." I said to him. "It's embarrassingggg." He complained. I giggled. "Pleaseeee." I whined. "I love you." He said, looking into my eyes. I giggled on the inside and hugged him even tighter.

"You're so perfect, gee." He whispered in my ear. "But I have so many flaws." I said back to him. "That's what makes you beautiful." He smiled and smelled my hair. "Your scent, your clothes, your face, your body, your mind, your height, gee, all of those things add up to how perfect you are." I smiled and kissed his cheek. "You're practically my dream partner as a real person." He said. I felt weak to the knees. "You're so sweet." I whispered. I felt like I was literally going to cry.

"You're worth everything to me, gee. Nothing matters more than you." He kissed my neck sweetly and gently. "You're an Angel." He said. I blushed and put my hand on his back. "Are you like a devil then, sir?" I said, giggling.

"Sort of like one." He laughed. "Teacher and student, star crossed lovers." He said. "Practically Devil and Angel honestly." I said, laughing and smiling. "Exactly. You're the most perfect ever." He said. "Why so sweet all of a sudden?" I asked. "I just want you to feel loved. I want you to feel like you matter because if you don't, who knows where you would be right now. I want to show you how much you mean to me and everyone and how incredibly positively you have affected my life. You're my gee. My perfect gee." He said. My eyes watered. "You're the best, Frankie." I said, my words muffled into his shoulder.

"You're the best teacher I could ever ask for" I said. "That sounds like a kink, sweetheart." He laughed. "Ughhh you know what I mean." I laughed with him.

"How about we just order takeout tonight? I wanna lay in bed with you all
Night." He said. "I'm okay with that." I smiled at him. "Good. Let's watch a movie."

He sat up a bit and grabbed the remote. "I swear to god if you play a horror movie, I'll go to a restaurant by myself." I giggled. "I'll just invite Mikey to watch the movie with me instead." He winked. I gasped. "You would never." I squinted my eyes.

He sighed. "You're right. How dare you be right." He laughed. "I guess we'll just have to watch Spider-Man instead." He sighed. I nodded and smiled, pleased with the choice, I laid my head on his chest. After a while of him stroking my hair, I dozed off and slept better than ever before.