Mandalorian Revived

Chapter 26

Staring at myself in the refresher mirror, I hardly recognize the woman in the reflection.

The dark circles hanging under my eyes are deeper than I remember them being the last time I looked in a mirror. Most of my hair is blonde and only the tips still have a crimson tint. The shape of my face is...different. Like the skin has stretched from years I don't remember living. The muscles in my arms are more defined, though. I can tell through the navy sleeveless top I've been wearing. I remember Mando telling me in passing that these clothes were a gift from someone. Someone I no longer know.

Just like the girl in this mirror staring back at me.

I let out a heavy sigh and my breath briefly fogs the glass. I glance down at the tools strewn across the sink counter. Earlier this morning, I stopped on a planet I remembered from before the Empire fell, a planet called Karlinus. When I was young, my mother had taught me where it was in the sky. Once I became an Inquisitor, I often stopped there in disguise to buy my hair dye.

I stare at the box of dye in front of me. The deep red color on the packaging is just as I remembered it. At least there are some things I can still trust my mind to remember. The scissors beside the box gleam up at me with a dare. I pick them up in a slightly shaky hand and once again look at my reflection. I sweep my hair over my shoulders, so it's all in the front, and take a moment to appreciate its length.

Now, my hair hits just below my chest. It's never been so long before. I always wanted long hair as an Inquisitor, but it wasn't conducive with the helmet and constant fighting. I don't plan on wearing a helmet now, but I do feel an overwhelming desire to see something familiar in myself. With a steeling breath, I start to cut.

When it's done, my hair hits me just at the top of my shoulders. All the red that was clinging to the ends of my hair is gone. I let out a sigh, shaking my head a few times. It is somewhat freeing not to have all that hair anymore. Now, I just have to get rid of this blonde.

I mix the dye as I always did and the movements feel natural and comforting. Once the mix is in my hair, I have to let it sit for a while. I wrap a towel around my shoulders to protect my skin and clothing as I walk into the main hangar. R5 beeps and shudders, giving me the same anxious behavior he's been giving me ever since we ditched the N-1.

"What?" My voice is harsher than intended. My mind goes to the idea of wiping the droid's memory circuit. We could start fresh together. Then I think better of it. I'm not exactly grateful to the people who took my memories from me. I'd never do that to someone else, even a droid.

He beeps again and turns his sight indicators toward a blinking light in the cockpit. It's a holomessage waiting for me. I gesture for R5 to play it right here. There's no use in climbing up to the cockpit for it when I'm going to have to get back in the refresher to finish the dyeing process soon.

R5 beeps anxiously once more before projecting the message in front of me. On instinct, I take a step back. My heart is in my throat as the image of Mando stands before me. I know it's a message, meaning he's pre-recorded and not seeing me right now, but still. It's jarring.

"Tara." His voice is slightly garbled from the hologram and his helmet modulator, but otherwise even. "Before you eject R5 from your ship, let me explain that I have his code channel to communicate, but not his location. Don't worry, I can't track you through the droid." I give R5 a pointed glare and he shrinks back a little.

Still, Mando's words offer little comfort. I didn't miss the way he said through the droid. It's as if he wants me to know that he can, in fact, track me down. He won't need R5 to do it.

"I...I've never been good with words," Mando continues. It almost sounds like his ramblings during those fevered nights on Aq Vetina. "But I have always tried to make you know how much I care about you. You are my clan, my partner. It goes beyond Creed. I'm sorry for making you feel like anything else. But you have to understand...when you were wiped in the Mind Flayer, you weren't the only one who lost something that day."