GWEH (Go Away)

17. Kick Like Jet Li

I'm feeling really down and defeated this Sunday morning. Tomorrow is the start of school, but right now, I don't even know my bed head from my bed foot. My mom has bought me all the school supplies and materials for my uniform, but I still can't go because the school fees are due before classes start, and I only have a small fraction of the amount needed. I haven't even sewn the uniform from the materials my mom got for me. It feels like a waste to do so when I can't even get much further than the doorstep.

I'm still in bed even though it's past noon. This is so unlike me because I'm usually up with the sun or even before. But today, I just can't find it within me to get up and make use of the day. I'm feeling a bit lost and unsure of the purpose. It's as if I can't find a way out of my current situation. Mi feel away.

"Mi really a go stuck yah suh?" Tears were running down the side of my face.

Thankfully, Mommy left around 7 a.m. and went on the road. Otherwise, she probably would have poured water on me in bed and loud me up for being in bed so late.

I sighed and then put the pillow on top of my head, and screamed out my frustration. One scream was not enough, I did it so many times so 'til I was breathless. I had a temporary relief and decided to try and see if I could fall back to sleep, away from my misery, but then I heard the gate open, followed by the front door. I knew it was Mommy because she had woken me up at seven to put the lock on the grill as she left as if she couldn't do that herself. Sobitsbonly her have the other set of key to enter just now.

"Tamara a can't bed you inna them hours yah?" Mommy asked from the sitting room. How does she know I am still lying down? She mussi have sixth sense.

I jumped up, sadness replaced with fear, as I hurriedly tried to make my bed. I thanked my lucky stars when I managed to make my bed, and Mommy still hadn't entered the room. Actually, she was unusually quiet, with only the rustling of bags here.

"Tammy, come here," I heard my mother say.

I dragged my feet and went to see what she wanted.

"Yes, mummy?"

"Come take up them here. I got mostly purple because I know you love the color," she said smiling.

I looked to see that there was a purple school bag, a purple tool bag, a purple lunch bag, water bottles, a Stanley cup, and even more school supplies and two shoe boxes.

"Umm, mommy, what of these for?"

"Tammy yuh love ask fool-fool question enuh. Nuh, must fi your school tomorrow," she said, then smiled as if reminiscing. "This reminds me of when I used to buy back-to-school stuff for you back then. These things are even more expensive now. In times like these, I am glad I have only one pickney. And you are big now. Bowy mi more than do my share."

I stood there, staring at her in disbelief as if she had grown a couple of horns overnight. How was I going to break the news to her that all our efforts had been in vain because my school fees hadn't been paid?

"You wash and press out your uniform? I don't know why they don't just make you wear regular clothes. It's not like high school. It's more like university, nuh, so?" Mommy asked, clearly distracted by her own thoughts.

"You can say suh. It is a trade school that offers certificates and associate degrees, so it's more like a college. And no mi not even sew them because that nuh make nuh sense mi dweet because—"

Mommy interrupted me. "Tammy nuh make me tell you bout your muma. Look how long me get you the material? A whole a three day you could have atleaset do one set a iniform a day. You mean to tell me that you sit and sew other people things and nuh get your clothes in other for school?"

"Mommy it nuh make nuh sense mi nah go."

"Try nuh make me and you have nothing. You betta go sew them before mi mad head take me in here," Mommy threatened.

"Mommy all this is great and thank you for going all out for me but the school tuition nuh pay and mi nuh have nuh money fi pay it. They sent me notice that the full money is needed before orientation tomorrow," I finally got to finish my speech.

Mommy smiled and asked, "So a really that you a worry bout?"

"Then mi nuh miss worry."

"Tamara that a the least. The money pay. The receipt is in the small part of the knapsack; just go sew a set of uniform and have it done by tomorrow." Mommy still wore a smile while I searched the bag and found the receipt. I look at her to the white paper while holding back tears. I failed and river Jordon flow.

"Please don't tell me say me a dream. This not real right?"

"Mi nah repeat me self," Mommy reverberated.

I gave my shoulder a pinch.

I felt it. That's when I kissed the receipt and jumped up and down laughing, then hugged Mother, kissing my mother, but she pushed me off of her.

"Move! My girl, do me a favor and take a detour to the bathroom before you go sew."

"Why?" I asked.

" Your breath a kick like Jet Li! You a big girl...you can't have morning breath them time a the day. You have to take care of yourself. How you plan to have a man if you nuh carry yourself properly?"

"Mommy mi just wake and—"

"All them things deh mi a talk bout. Man don't want nuh nasty lazy woman. Go take care of yourself and come work on your uniform beside me so you and I can chat. You can't a let go of yourself suh. It's about time me and you have this talk."

I felt away and covered my mouth while asking, "Talk about what?" I thought I wasnot getting an answer so I made to walk off but then she respond.

"Life, relationship, hustle and how to carry yourself. If you plan to keep your man, you can't keep wearing those ugly, baggy clothes to hide your nice shape. Matter a fact, I am going to burn them later. Wear the tights I got you. Tomorrow in the day I will get you some more clothes. Look how me daughter sexy and a granny up herself," Mommy said, then hissed her teeth. "With your cute face and a body like that you can get anything weh you want. You just have to play the came right."

"This again," I hissed my teeth. What a woman love the man talk. No matter how I try to dodge it, she always find away to bring it into our conversation. This is why more time I stay quiet and try to avoid her. But it's hard, given that I live under her roof. Why doesn't she go back a Gary yard?

"Your breath stink like... bout yuh a come kiss teeth. Go brush them!" Mommy's short fuse blew. "Do weh mi say you fi do." She shoos me away while saying, "Carry the bags and go put them down first round a room. By the way, What do you want for dinner?"

(1298 Words)

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