Knocked out of course (Girlxgirl)

Chapter 10 - Turning point

Iris' POV

I decide to head to the bathroom before I leave the house. A sinking feeling settling in my stomach. I attempt a deep breath before meeting my own eyes in the mirror, a gasp gets caught in my throat. The same colours I saw last night are still there tho they look slightly dull.
I shut my eyes as I clench my jaw and keep them closed as I reach for the tap. I let the water run through my fingers and the feeling helps grounds me. My heart slows down to it's normal pattern.
Feeling calmer I open my eyes again being met by the exact same golden and silver eyes gazing right back at me.
"Fuck ..." I mutter not knowing what else to do I walk back into my room to search for my phone.
"How is this possible? What is happening? What the actual fuck? Am I losing it? What do I do?"
As the panic begins to set in I call the only person that might have some answers, my old army doctor, the one that gave and adjusted my medication as needed.
After a few rings she picks up. Her voice sounds groggy and tired. "Hello?"
"Hey doc long time no speak!" I say trying my best to sound as calm as possible even tho I felt anything but.
"Iris? Is that you?"
A nervous laughter escapes me.
"Yes I'm sorry to call like this but I didn't know who else to come to with this."
"I ... Where have you been? What happened with you?" Her voice betrays a mix of worry and hurt. "It's been years!"
"I'm sorry... You know I couldn't stay... Not with everything going on ... And you suggested it yourself it was better and safer that way there was nothing healthy left for me there. If I stayed things would get progressively worse. I didn't know if I could survive it. I didn't want to keep being used like that. Or anything else of what they were doing... It was just too much... And it didn't feel like they even cared about my well being..." I rant on trying to explain myself to the person who was one of my closest friends at one point in my life.
I only stop when she softly interrupts me.
"Hey hey it's okay... I know all of this Iris. I did advise you to leave I just didn't expect to be completely cut off but I do understand why and it was probably better and safer for both of us that you did. That being said why are you calling me now?"
"There's something weird happening... I don't know if it's actually happening or if I'm imagining it... I don't know what to do ... Please Haurvatat... I need your help..."
The persian sighs heavily. "I will be there as soon as I can get a flight. In the meantime it's probably best if you stay home. I think it's time we have a conversation that I hoped we could avoid."
Her words leave me puzzled but I give her my address and she hurriedly hangs up after that.
I keep her warning in mind only going out to my backyard to let the dogs run around.
Her words loop in my head as flashes from the dream break through the fog and bring forth a splitting headache as well as a feeling that I'm missing something.

I sit on the grass as I watch the dogs run around. Usually moments like this would bring me a sense of peace but right now there's a heaviness weighing me down that makes it impossible to feel anything other than a short of breath like I'm on the verge of drowning and desperately trying to swim my way up so I can get my head out of the water without ever being able to succeed. It feels like fighting a battle I know I can't win.
A heavy sigh escapes me as I feel myself sinking further into the haze inside me. It's like everything about who I am is hidden behind a thick curtain that I can't seem to get through. Like I'm nothing more than a shell of a living being but can't manage to reach the memories or feelings that make me the person I am.

After a long time I get up to make my way back inside the house. Everything in me feels too heavy to carry.
I managed to drag myself into the bathroom as I once again stand in front of the mirror staring at my own reflection. The eyes that gaze back at me are ones that I don't recognise. They're the same as the ones from the young girl that called me Gaia.
"Who is Gaia? Was she confusing me with someone else? And who is that girl? Why does she feel so familiar yet I can't place it at all.... She looks like me but I don't have any siblings as far as my adoptive family knew... They couldn't even figure out who I was ... It was like I suddenly just appeared out of thin air... How is that possible?"
I close my eyes not wanting to see the golden and silver reflecting back at me.
"How is any of this possible?" I say out loud, frustration building up inside me and pushing it's way through to the surface.
Opening my eyes once again I'm met with a flash of the previous night.
"Wake up Gaia!"
"FUCK!!" I growl out as I punch the mirror in front of me shattering the image of the girl.
There's a anchoring throbbing on my knuckles as I look at the small cuts adorned with little pieces of the reflective surface on them I feel numb.
I run my hand under water and something snaps through the mist.