Outer Banks Imagines

Pouges x Reader-A Little Bit Tired

This is based off of the song Numb Little Bug by Em Beihold! I do not own this song! The song is like my freakin life story! There is also some mention of depression.....

I walk into JB's house. The door is open as usual. Everyone is already sitting in the room. I wasn't surprised that they got here before me. I practically dragged myself out of bed. I had to get here so the Pouges wouldn't worry and think I was kidnapped again.

"Hey, Y/n!" Sarah greets.

"Hi." I say halfheartedly.

"You good?" JJ asks.

"Oh, I am fine." I lie.

"You know you are really bad at lying, right?" Pope asks.

"Too bad I'm not lying." I lean on the doorway.

"Yes, you are." Kie states.

"What's up? You know you can tell us anything!" Sarah sits up straighter.

Should I really tell them how I am feeling? Maybe they will understand? Or they will think I am the craziest person ever! Oh, I don't know!

"Y/n!"

JJ is all of a sudden standing in front of me and snapping his fingers in my face. My vision comes back to view.

"What's going on?" JJ asks soothingly.

I look to see the other Pouges are all looking at me. Sarah is sitting on the couch on her knees. Kie is in a standing position next to the couch. JB and Pope are standing next to the wall across the couch with their arms folded across their chests.

"Y/n?"

I focus back on JJ. Just get it out!

"I, um, I..... Can I ask you a question?" I blurt out.

Everyone is a little taken back by my sudden out burst.

"Yeah, ask away." Kie answers.

"Um, do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die! Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive! Cause you gotta survive! Like your bodies in the room but you're not really there! Like you have empathy inside but you don't really care! Like you're fresh out of love but it has been in the air!"

I start to get louder as I go along. I move out of the way of the door way and stand near the kitchen.

"I'm a little bit tired of trying to care when I don't! I'm a little bit tired of quick repairs to cope! I'm a little bit tired of sinking! There's water in my boat! I'm barely breathing! Trying to stay a float! So I got these quick repairs to cope! Am I past repair?!"

As I finish I feel the tears start to come down my face. I hug myself across my waist and fall to the ground on my knees. Sarah gets off the couch quicker than anyone can react and hugs me. I hug her back as the tears fall like two streams of a river.

"You're okay. It's going to be okay. We're here for you." Sarah says soothingly.

JJ moves from his spot and kneels next to us. I look at him with my tear streaked face. JJ leans in and hugs us. The tears keep coming. It feels like they will never stop and this is why I wouldn't cry before.

"We've got you." JJ says.

I cling to the two harder. I don't want to let go. I can't let go.

Kie comes over and kneels on Sarah's other side. She starts to rub my back softly.

"We're glad that you told us."

"We really are." JB says.

Pope and him walk over and kneel next to JJ.

"We are all here for you. You can talk to any of us." Pope says.

"During the day or in the middle of the night." JJ adds.

I look up at them all.

"I am so lucky to have you guys." I whisper loud enough for them to hear me.

"We are lucky to have you, Y/n." Sarah says.

A smile spreads onto my face.

"There's the smile we all love." JB says.

I laugh lightly.

"Thanks guys. You're the best."

"We know." JJ teases.

We all laugh now. Telling them is definitely worth it!