Cornelia Street - Avengers

Love and Hate

"It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all. Give me something, oh, but you say nothing. I don't wanna live forever, I know I'll be living in pain."

Berlin, 2015

(I Don't Want To Live Forever, Taylor Swift)

...

Alyona Krasnaya had seen the fury of the Winter Soldier time and time again in her lifetime, but she had never seen him so angry to his core, so fearful. An anger directed at her. He was never angry at her, never truly, but she could see the fury in his eyes as he stormed towards her. She slipped off the bar stool as he neared, finishing her champagne, and placing it back softly on the marble bar.

"What the hell was that?" The Soldier demanded once he reached her. She slowly reached out a hand and wrapped it around his bicep, utterly confused.

"What are you talking about?" Alyona asked, shaking her head. He jerked his head backward, towards Tony, who had now just exited the ballroom.

"That man. What did he say to you?"

Alyona cocked her head at him curious. "Why does it matter to you? It was just meaningless small talk I didn't compromise or tell him anything. He knew about our arrangement-"

His eyes widened at her words, jaw going slack. "Are you- what do you mean arrangement?"

Alyona held her left hand up in between them, waving her ring finger. "This one. He just asked if I was having a good night, told me he had a flight to catch and then he left. I think you forget I can handle myself alone for five minutes James, I'm not an amateur. I was practically born for this."

She dropped her hand, resting her elbow on the bar as she waited for him to respond. She noticed how his arm too rested on the marble, just inches away, and perhaps in another world if she was braver, she would have reached out and held his hand in her own. Just to see how it would feel in her own, skin to skin, like it had been made just for her. But that territory had been crossed, and she had to move on.

To make both his and her life easier, she couldn't go to that place again. But Alyona was killing him, her rambling and the way she looked under the golden lights, those blue eyes looking up at him gently as she waited for him to speak.

"That man is dangerous...Alyona," he whispered.

"If he's dangerous then what the hell are we? What are most of the people in this room?" She retorted as she gathered up her dress into her hand. "Excuse me, I need to go get some air."

And so, the Soldier watched her leave, knowing she needed to clear her head by herself, but knowing he would still keep a watchful eye on her. He watched as she crossed the ballroom floor of couples and socialites alike, ignoring the way she walked and the stares of disgusting wealthy men and turning heads before she ventured up the staircase and out to the balcony on the upper floor.

Her eyes fell over the nighttime sky, the stars, and the city lights as it all burned itself deeply into her memory. She would hold onto this view in case her mind ever needed a safety blanket, somewhere to go if her world became too cruel once more. 

The world around her was fast-paced, and as people ventured through the cobblestone streets, arms wrapped around a lover or holding the hands of a loved one, she tried to imagine what all their lives were like.

She even made it up, assigning stories to strangers in the night. One couple chuckled as they ran through the streets, this was their first date she decided. He was too nervous for them to have been a long-term couple, and she was too hopeful.