Cornelia Street - Avengers

Stay With Me

"I had to fall. To lose it all. But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

(Party Monster, The Weeknd)

...

The meeting concluded soon after the assigning of designated roles. Whether it was for the fight, or the losses, now it was only up to them to prepare. But everything just felt like loss to her now. 

Lucia observed Steve as he stared out at the scenery off the bridge, following the blond out, into the cool air, thinking he may have needed someone after what he had just found out. But in truth, she needed him too. She took a deep breath before walking up to him, knowing he sensed her presence behind him, despite never turning his head.

She too faced the scenery and running water, not expecting it to be as beautiful as it was. She knew the fight wasn't going to be easy, it would be nothing but a horror show, and the bright afternoon felt so displaced with the brutality just on the horizon.

"The Winter Soldier program originated from Siberia, where I grew up. I met him when I was seventeen, they first paired us together, so I'd be able to work on fixing his metal arm. I was a mediocre engineer, but I knew my way around, despite never being taught. I like to think that it was my Dad's genes pushing through." The redhead swallowed, trying to stop her throat from feeling as though she had swallowed glass. "I wondered why they had chosen me, of all people, but now I realise they probably chose me because of my resemblance to Lucy."

Steve dropped his head. "As a way to torture him."

She nodded, "The little parts of us that were still human, helped us love each other. Helped us feel human. The last time I ever saw him was when we got back from Berlin. Massimo had found out everything, so he wiped his memories in front of me. Made me think it was my fault-"

"Lucia-"

"So that's how I knew him. I wanted you to know it all." She let her eyes drift to the trees below "I just wish there was more I could do. I should've never cut my tracker out; I should've gone back to Siberia and figured out a way to save us both from there."

It was difficult to say those words out loud, to admit the guilt that pressed so heavily on her heart day in and day out. But it was her truth. Sifting through the memories she could barely stomach, she shut her eyes. 

"I'll blame myself every day, for the rest of my life. If I had just kept my eyes down, shut off my emotions then he never would've been wiped that day."

The tears escaped on their own before she could stop them. Steve sighed. "You're as much of a victim as he is. As anyone affected by them," he murmured, reaching for her. She allowed herself to believe it momentarily, as he pulled her into his arms. "You know he'd want you to live your life."

Lucia eased into the embrace, wrapping her arms around him, unable to bring herself to speak up. The sounds of footsteps behind them caused them to pull away, and she swiped beneath her eyes, ridding any evidence of tears as she turned to face Sam.

His expression was hesitant, accompanied by a gentle smile. "This is the second time I'm interrupting," he said softly, giving the pair a look. "I don't mean to but, we should talk about what happened."

The redhead sniffled, tensing slightly. "Yeah. We probably should." She had to be prepared to face whatever obstacles would stand in their way. Even if her greatest obstacle would be a man whom she once dreamt about building a life with.

"He's going to be there. We all know that," Sam sighed, after a long moment of silence. "Look, whoever he used to be, the guy he is now, I don't think he's the kind you save. He's the kind you stop."