my feelings towards death is hard to explain, but i'm going to try my hardest to do so.
life is like a trap. you live your whole life knowing that it's going to end and there's nothing you can do about it. you just slowly watch as everyone including yourself get older.
then you start to wonder 'why am i alive?'. it seems to me that this whole 'life' thing is just a test, to see if you could survive not knowing what's next. but the thing is, not knowing what's next terrifies me.
should i embrace death?
should i fear it?
it makes me think, wouldn't this all be easier if i wasn't alive at all? i mean, if i wasn't born then i didn't have to worry about the future at all. i wouldn't even know life existed. i'll just be a tiny speck of dust in the galaxy; unknown.
no worries in the world, at all.
and what's after death? do you just die and rot not knowing you are? do you just lie there in oblivion since you don't have the voice in the back of your mind asking questions?
or do you go to 'heaven' and stay there forever? what if you don't want to stay there forever?
do you reincarnate? do you choose to, or do they force you to?
this whole thing is a train wreck of mixed feelings. i don't even know what i'm writing anymore. help.
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sorry if i caused anyone to have an existential crisis.
and sorry if this piece of junk wasted a minute or two of your life.
x
