Blue Kisses

Chapter 4

I find myself spending every second thinking about Alice these days. It's hard to focus on my studies, I can't sleep, I've lost my appetite, even when I'm with her I think about her. Why can't I be with her all the time? The weekends are starting to feel like months. I always sit there in my room trying not to think about her but at the same time, I'm waiting for it to be Monday so I can see her again. Today's Friday and school just ended. I'm buying time with her by making her go to the school library with me before we go home. Mr. Fish wanted us to find a nonfiction book of our choice, to start reading and write an essay about it for our midterm project.

The library is already decorated for Halloween, paper bats hang from the ceiling and decorate the sides of the tall mahogany bookshelves. Me and Alice laugh at the cheesy book displays that read, "Bite into a good book" and "I'm crazy about BOOks." The library is quiet and the lighting is dim. We've already picked out our books for the assignment but now me and Alice are currently in the history aisle checking out historical mysteries.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to look for umm... A certain book," Alice tells me.

"Okay" I whisper. What kind of book is she looking for? I follow her because I want to be with her and I also want to know what kind of books she's into. She's looking in the romance section and I hide around the corner of the bookshelf. Why did she not want me to look with her? Would she be embarrassed about looking for romance?

Alice is struggling, she's reaching out for a book on the top shelf that she can't reach. I hesitate helping her because I don't want her to know I'm spying on her. It's too late anyways, Joshua comes up from behind her and grabs the book for her, his approach startles her and she falls over, he catches her with one arm over her waist and the other arm holding the book she was reaching for. I feel like I'm watching a meet cute from a cheesy romcom. They're staring into each others eyes while he's holding on to her. He finally lifts her up and hands her the book, their hands touch when she takes it. This could've been me, I could be the one where she finally looks into my eyes after saving her life and realizes she's in love with me. No, instead it's Joshua, why him? He hit her with his truck and she had to wear a cast for over a month. She just got her cast off, there's no way she would've already forgotten about that.

I can't hear what they're talking about. Should I get closer, maybe I should interrupt their romantic moment. She's laughing, I love her laugh. Why is she laughing? Joshua's not even funny, I've known him for nine years and never seen anyone laugh at his jokes. She's even holding on to his arm while she's laughing, I don't get it! We laugh together all the time and she doesn't hold on to my arm, does she? No, I would've noticed immediately. He probably can't even tell that her hand is on his arm. Maybe she's a touchy person and doesn't mean to come off as flirty. What is going on?

I can't watch this anymore. I feel like I'm going to explode and then my guts will be splattered on the walls, being the perfect decorations for Halloween. I check out my book and head to the bus stop. Maybe I should have waited in the library for Alice but I don't want her to look at my face and see how miserable I am.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" I hear from behind me. It's Alice and her cheeks are rosy.

"Sorry, I checked out my book and I guess I wasn't thinking" I reply grimly.

"Are you going to study at StoneHart's Coffee tomorrow with Josh and Lucy?"

I forgot about that, "Oh, yeah. I guess so. Are you going?"

"Yeah, Josh just invited me." she replies.

"Oh," is all I can say. The bus arrives and we get on. We don't really talk and she doesn't seem to mind. I can tell she's thinking about Joshua because her face is glowing and she hasn't stopped smiling.

The plus side of all of this is I get to see Alice this weekend, the bad side is that Joshua will be there with us and I'm going to watch them fall in love. Lucky me.