Blue Kisses

Chapter 15

Finals are coming up and I've been studying non stop, I have finally overcome the ability to stop thinking about Alice every second. I'm now able to focus with a clear mind. I'm on top of the world, nothing can stop me from acing my finals. I take off my headphones because they're starting to hurt my ears. I'm on my fourth cup of coffee within the three hours since we started studying and I'm not counting the cups I had this morning. StoneHart's Coffee is quiet during this late hour, most of the tables are empty or occupied by caffeine driven students with laptops and headphones on. There is a couple in the dimly lit corner who quietly laugh every now and then. The coffee shop smells like warm nutty coffee with a hint of chocolate.

Lucy and Joshua are intensely staring into their laptop screens, unaware of their surroundings. Alice is passed out with her head on the table, how long has she been sleeping? I nudge her arm to wake her up, she lifts up her head and her eyes are slightly open, she has pink marks on her face from being pressed against her notebook. "Huh," she grunts.

"Do you need more coffee?" I whisper.

"Yeah" she mumbles.

"Have a sip of mine, It's nice and strong" I say, giving her my cup filled with black coffee.

Alice takes a sip without thinking. Her face quickly became disgusted and she hands it back to me shaking her head in disgust. "Gross," she says. I take a sip to see what she's talking about, it tastes normal. Alice takes the cup back from me and drinks another sip. "Not bad," She opens her laptop and notebooks to start studying again. She takes another sip of my coffee.

"Do you want me to get you your own coffee?" I ask Alice.

"No, I'm good." she replies.

A half hour went by and Alice drank the rest of my coffee. Lucy shuts her laptop and books "I can't do it anymore," she cries.

Joshua follows, "Finally! I can't either," he says, closing his laptop and books.

"I'm gonna go upstairs, I need to close my zombie eyes and sleep for a thousand years," Lucy says.

"Me too. No matter how much coffee I drink it can't wake me up to keep on like this," Joshua says.

We say our goodbyes to them and now it's just me and Alice. We sit there uncomfortably staring at each other. "I'm gonna stay and study," I say.

"Me too. That nap I took and your coffee has really refreshed my brain. It's like I'm a totally new person." Alice jokingly says.

We put our headphones back on and continue to study. Now that it's just the two of us, I'm finding it harder to focus. I keep glancing at her while she concentrates on her studies. I want to talk and pretend like we're the couple that's still in the corner. Alice picks up my coffee cup forgetting it's empty.

"Should we get some more and take a coffee break?" I ask.

"Yes!" she replies, already standing up to get in line. "What are you getting?"

"A refill," I reply laughing. "What are you getting?"

"Whatever you get," she replies, smiling.

I order and pay for our drip coffees. We sit back down and put our studies aside. The only ones left in the coffee shop are us and the couple in the corner. "Maybe we should go soon," I tell Alice.

"Yeah, maybe." she agrees, sipping her coffee and keeping eye contact with me.

"How many cups of coffee have you had?" Alice asks me.

"This is my fifth." I reply.

"All today?" she asks.

"Okay my seventh." I fix my answer.

Alice laughs, "you have a problem," she tells me as if I didn't already know that.

"But they're in small cups, all of it adds up to one large coffee," I try to justify myself. "Maybe two," I add, laughing. She doesn't say anything after, we sit in the quiet coffee shop, with ambient music and the sounds of the barista cleaning his station. The warm soft lighting hangs above our heads. I try to look outside but it's too dark.

"Josephine, I have to tell you something," Alice says softly. Is she going to finally confess her love to me?

"Hmm," I reply gently, trying not to sound so eager waiting for her confessions. I take a sip of my coffee to hide my smile.

"Josh asked me to the prom," she says.

My heart floats up to my throat. I try not to cough it up. She's staring at me waiting for my reply but I don't know what to say. "Did you say yes?" I ask.

"Yes," she tells me.

"Oh," I say. My heart shatters into a thousand little pieces, tearing little cuts into my throat. "When did he ask you?" I ask with a raspy voice.

"During the field trip," she replies with a guilty face.

"That long ago," I say with rage coursing through my veins, "why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to hurt your feelings," she replies.

"Why would that hurt me?" I ask even though it does hurt me.

"I just thought" Alice stops and stares down, "I don't know" she replies looking back up at me.

"I still have Lucy," I reassure her. "This way we won't have to take turns dancing," I try to smile, it feels like I am smiling but I'm not sure.

"Are you sure you're okay with it?" she asks me, "I know you two are going through a fight or whatever so I want to make sure you're fine that we go together."

"Yeah, I'm fine with it." I say this time knowing I'm fake smiling. "Who knows, maybe you two will win prom queen and king." I say jokingly, masking my pain.

"Well I'll still vote for you and Lucy to win." She jokes back.

I force a chuckle out of sheer awkwardness. I have nothing else to say, I don't want to say anything else. I open up my text book "we should get back to it," I quietly tell her.

"I should leave actually, it's getting late. Did you want to come with me? We can take the bus together" she says.

"No, I still have a lot of studying to do but you can go ahead without me," I reply.

"Okay" she replies disappointed. "Be careful getting home," she adds, already packed up and leaving.

"You too," I say before she leaves me.

I close my text book and sit there in the chair where she left me to stare into my own jilted future. I'm frozen, made out of china, cold to the touch. If I were to move, I feel as if my skin would shatter into a million pieces and while everyone moves on, I'm to be left in this chair, decaying on to the floor, turning to dust.