Blue Kisses

Chapter 8

Lucy's bedroom is decorated pink and white. I'm laying in her fluffy bed next to her 22 stuffed animals. She has big windows draped with curtains and you can see the beautiful sun, setting in the distance. Lucy is in her closet looking for the dresses she wants us to wear tonight.

"Josie look" she says, unzipping the bag that carries my dress, "Ta da" she sings. It's a sparkly midnight blue dress. "And look, it has a low back" she takes it out and shows me the rest. "It's going to look so good on you!" she squeals.

"It's beautiful," I say. I hope Alice thinks I look beautiful in it. I only wear blue when I want her attention. "Show me yours," I demand Lucy.

Lucy unzips her bag, "We're going to be matching," she says excitingly. It's exactly like mine but hers is a pale baby pink color. "My parents bought them for us because they were excited to be hosting New Years party this year,"

Every year my parents host their "grand" New Years Eve party at our house, and they invite all of my dad's clients including their family and friends. This year is the first one they decided not to host. My mom suggested to Lucy's parents that they should host it in their coffee shop. My parents are avoiding each other. They can't even be in the same building together, let alone in the same room that everyone is expecting them to kiss at midnight.

There's something so romantic about kissing someone in the first second of the new year to symbolify that you two are going to spend the rest of the year together. "Lucy! What if Joshua kisses Alice at midnight?" I ask with worry in my bones holding on to one of her stuffed bunnies to my face. Lucy stops dancing in the mirror with her own dress. "We have to keep them apart at midnight!" I tell her.

"Okay, how about we lock her in the dry storage closet, where you can't open the door without the key," Lucy says. It would work but is that too mean? I contemplate it for a second. "Josie, I was only Joking. Remember when you got locked in there and we lost the key?" She asks.

"Yeah, you're right, we can make that plan b," I reply.

"What happened to being just friends with her?" Lucy asks.

"It's going to take some time to accept being just friends. I don't think I'm ready to see Joshua and Alice kiss yet," I say and throw myself back on her bed.

We hear three knocks on Lucy's door.

"Who is it?" Lucy shouts.

"It's Joshua," muffled behind the door.

Lucy looks at me and I shake my head no. "Tell him no one's here," I whisper.

Lucy's face is asking me "is there something wrong with you?" She opens the door and Joshua comes in wearing a suit. "Who's ready to party!" Joshua starts shuffling and Lucy joins him.

"Now where's Alice?" I ask.

"Did Alice not tell you? She's back home in Summerfield with her parents for winter break." Joshua says.

"Ugh" I roll over onto the stuffed animals, hoping they bury me into a peaceful death. Why didn't she tell me? Why did she tell Joshua and not me? Am I not her best friend? Is she hiding something from me?

"I'm gonna go down stairs and see if your parents need any help, you two should finish getting ready," Joshua tells us.

Lucy joins me in her bed digging me up from my plushed grave. "Hey, look on the bright side. At least you won't have to see them kiss." She tells me.

"Uuuuhhhhhgggggg," I groan into a bunny. "Why didn't she tell us?" I look up at her and ask.

"I don't know. But I'm not going to allow you to mope around at my parents' party." Lucy starts pulling me up by my arms. "Let's get you ready," she grunts.

All the adults are drunk already. Lucy has been talking to the boy her parents introduced to her an hour ago. Joshua is showing off his lame dance moves to a group of girls who are drunkenly cheering him on. I'm in the corner of the room watching everyone like a fly on the wall. I have no one to talk to. If Alice was here I'm sure she would be on my side and everything would be alright, I wouldn't feel all alone. I can't be here, I feel as if everyone is looking right through me, knowing exactly how I feel yet they don't care, they want to continue on with their night. I'm a ghost that they're pretending they can't see. But yet I feel like they can't see me, no one knows I'm here.

I have to go. I can't breathe well. There's a group of people blocking the exit and I can't get through them so I go into the restroom and lock the door behind me. My chest is burning and it hurts to breathe. The cold water I'm splashing onto my face isn't helping. My breathing becomes heavy and tears start to run down my face. What's going on with me? I lean against the door to keep my body from falling, but I can't help it when gravity forces me down to the cold bathroom floor. I wish Alice was here holding my hands to keep them from shaking. But she's not here. No one is here to help me.

I count my breaths to slow down my breathing. The motion sensor lights turn off from my lack of moving. The music is muffled and is playing, Dancing Queen by ABBA. This song used to make me happy and feel like I'm on top of the world, now when it plays I'll remember this night and that I'm going to be alone forever.

Someone approaches the door and try's the handle, I ignore it. I can't leave yet, I can't stop thinking about Alice so I send her a message that reads; 'Happy New Year! I miss you and wish you were here <3.' The person waiting tries the handle again so I dry my face and leave keeping my head down so nobody notices I've been crying. I run into Lucy and she's with Joshua.

"Where have you been? It's almost midnight!" Lucy says.

"I've been around not that you two would know" I say annoyed.

"Sorry I've been trying to get to know Todd but I don't think he's going to be my midnight kiss" Lucy says, shooting a glance at Joshua.

"Man I wish Alice was here, looks like I'll have to find some other lucky girl," Joshua says.

My blood is boiling. How can he say that? Alice is more than just some girl at a party to kiss and forget about.

I audibly scoff.

"What?" Joshua asks with half of a laugh.

"Wow Alice is so lucky," I say.

"What do you mean?"

"You're such a guy! Alice has feelings for you, you know that right? And what? She's not here so you give up and find a new girl to kiss? You don't deserve her!" I can see the hurt in his eyes but I don't care. I meant every word.

"Josie," Lucy says, looking at me like I'm a monster.

Everyone at the party starts counting down from ten. "I'm leaving," Joshua says and walks away.

"Why did you say that to him?" Lucy asks loudly so I could hear her over everyone counting and the music.

"He deserved it!"

"You're allowed to be jealous but he's your friend Josie," Lucy shouts.

"Not anymore!" I shout back, leaving as well. I push through the crowd of people that I failed to get through the first time. I forgot my coat back up in Lucy's bedroom, but I don't care to go back and get it. The cold night air touches my bare skin and It feels good, my body was suffocating at the party. And my rage is enough to keep me warm for my journey home.