Blue Kisses

Chapter 9

I can't sleep. I keep looking at the message I sent to Alice, 'Happy New Year! I miss you and wish you were here <3.' Below the message I see, READ. She read my message and didn't reply? I sent it a few hours ago, how long has it been on read? I throw my phone at the end of my bed hoping it stops me from looking at the desperate message I sent her. I ruined my friendship with Joshua, Lucy's ashamed of me and Alice is ignoring me. What have I done? Did Alice find out about my feelings for her and now she's uncomfortable. I pull the sheets over my head out of embarrassment from the thought of Alice knowing my feelings for her. I should have texted her: Hey Alice! Happy New Year, I'm so happy to have you as a friend for the New Year :).

Something is vibrating my bed, my phone, did Alice text me back? I shoot out of my sheets. The vibrating doesn't stop. I check my phone and it's a phone call from: Alice Lane. It's 3 am! Why is she calling me? I let it ring a couple more times before I answer so she doesn't think I'm desperate to talk to her.

"Hello," I say.

"Hi, sorry did I wake you?" Alice asks. Her soft voice melts my heart.

"No, I just got home." I've been home for a couple hours staring at my message and regretting my whole life actually. "What's up?" I ask.

"It's been a hard night," she replies and I wait for her to tell me more, "I saw your message earlier and it made me feel like I wasn't lonely." Uh she was feeling lonely like me.

"Oh, I'm sorry about your night. Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"It's just my parents, they wanted to celebrate the holidays with me but they are still fighting around me. The whole reason I'm living with my grandma is so my parents can work out their marriage without me having to watch them fight. It doesn't feel like they've fixed anything. I miss my grandma and I miss you." I couldn't focus on anything she said after she said that she misses me. My heart could explode. But it's not the time, my crush needs me right now. I want to ask her why she didn't tell me she went back home for winter break. But now is also not the right time to ask. "How was your New Year's Eve?" I heard her ask. I probably shouldn't tell her too much about it.

"It was fine," I have to lie. She can't find out about it. "All the adults were drunk, Lucy was flirting with a boy all night and..." should I even mention Joshua?

"Lucy and a boy? tell me more," Alice says. Good I don't need to bring up Joshua.

"Well they didn't kiss, I don't think she liked him all that much." I reply.

"Darn. After witnessing my parents' love life I could really hear about someone else's romantic life right now" she says. Same honestly. "Did you kiss anyone?" Alice asks me.

"Me? No way. Who would have I kissed anyways?" I say.

"Hmm well if I was there, I would have kissed you." she says. "I would have kissed you" " I would have kissed you" "I would have kissed you" repeats in my head over and over. Is she flirting with me? No friends kiss each other all the time, I shouldn't be reading into anything. And maybe she meant she would have kissed me on the cheek.

"Thanks," I say, immediately regretting it. Did I really reply with, thanks? I want to hit my head repeatedly against my bed's headboard. I need to change the conversation before I make things more awkward. "When do you come back?" I ask her.

"In a couple days, before break is over. Why? Did you want to hangout?" she asks.

"No," I say like I've been caught. "I mean yes, I would like to hangout with you, if you wanted to."

"It's okay, I get it, You're sick of seeing me at school so much," she says, teasingly.

"No, I'm not at all," I say defensively, "I could see you everyday and never get sick of you," I wish I could have gulped down my words but I said that out loud. I should really shut my mouth now.

"Awe, that's so sweet." she says.

As much as I'm deeply embarrassed, I don't want to hang up on our first phone call, I like listening to her angelic voice. I could listen to it forever.

"What's your favorite movie?" I ask Alice hoping to distract her from my past words that escaped my mouth.

"Huh? Why do you want to know?" she asks me.

"Because, you can get to know a lot about a person by watching their favorite film." I reply.

"Okay... let me think, that's hard to answer." She's quiet while she's thinking but I listen closely to try and hear her breathe. "Okay, if I have to choose, I would choose Marly and Me" she replies.

"Marley and Me?" I ask as if I didn't hear her.

"Yes, is there something wrong with liking Marley and Me?"

"The dog dies at the end! And It's a very sad movie." I reply.

"So?" she says. "It's a very heart warming movie," She replies.

We continued to talk for hours about movies, shows, books, and why we liked them. Does she feel the same as I do? Does she not want to stop talking like I do?

"It's seven AM," she tells me.

"Oh is it?" I say, pretending as if I didn't already know and hoping she would never look at the time. "I can't believe we talked for so long," I say bittersweetly.

"Yeah the time just flew by." she paused. "Maybe we should get some sleep," she says, alluding that we should hang up.

"Yeah, we should." I reply.

"Sweet dreams" she tells me.

"Goodnight," I say hesitating pushing the end call button, but she does it first.

I don't think I can fall asleep now! I'm so happy I could jump into the sky and I wouldn't be able to come back down, I would be stuck floating in the clouds. I can't let that happen, I wouldn't be able to see Alice. I'm so happy. I need to talk to Lucy ASAP, would she still be mad at me for last night? Maybe. But I can't help it. I need to talk to her. I can apologize first and then tell her about everything.

I bought two drip coffees from the barista at StoneHart's and I made my way up the three flights of stairs to get to Lucy's bedroom door. I'm also holding a paper bag in one hand that contains last night's dress. I thought I would return it back to Lucy. I stack one coffee on top of the other so I don't have to use my head to knock on the door. I hear a grunt from the other side, and I assume that it means come in.

"Good morning," I say as I let myself in.

Lucy rolls her body over from laying on her stomach in her bed to look at me. "What are you doing here?" she asks with a husky voice.

"I got you some coffee," I sing in a soft cheery way. "I even paid for it, and tipped."

"Good for you," she says sarcastically while sitting herself up. She holds out her hand like a zombie and I put her coffee in it and sit next to her, "What are you doing here so early?" she asks, pretending her eyes are open.

"I came to apologize for last night," I say sitting.

Lucy opens her eyes to take a sip of coffee, "okay, go on. Although it's Joshua that you should be saying sorry to."

"I know, but it's you that I wanted to see. And I'll apologize to him later." I finally take a sip of my coffee. It's perfectly hot and soothes my throat. The taste is bitter yet smooth and chocolaty. I drink StoneHart's coffee all the time but today it tastes like heaven.

"Why are you so happy?" she asks me.

"I talked with Alice," I say.

"What? You told her how you feel?" she asks, finally opening her eyes.

"No! But we stayed up all night talking." I say.

"What did you guys talk about?" Lucy asks.

"Everything" I say smiling.