"How in all that is holy do I do this?" Harry almost hissed at Remus. His godfather was fixing the edges of Harry's robes. They weren't even really Harry's robes if he was being honest, they were some old style robes that Mipsy had found in the master closet. Harry's were apparently not up to standard. The only actual robes he owned were his school robes, and they were not very Lordly.
"Just be yourself," Remus advised, dusting off Harry's shoulder.
"Be myself?" Harry said blankly.
Remus winced. "Harry-" he took a breath- "there has to be a part of you that feels the control of the Master and wants to use it. And remember don't let him speak over you or speak to you like an equal or a child. You are his superior, make him remember that."
Harry stared at Remus. Since his birthday Harry had been so distracted that he hadn't even had time to focus on the new feelings stirring in his gut. It was only yesterday, after Snape's letter had come and he and Remus discussed it, that Harry was able to take some time to himself and consider everything fully. Of course, Remus was right. There was a part of Harry, a part that had always been there if he was honest with himself, a part that longed for control. That small part of him that enjoyed when Mipsy had bowed, that enjoyed when Remus listed all the powers he had now.
"See?" Remus said softly.
Harry gulped, "I don't... I don't like it."
"Of course you don't," Remus placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "You are a very kind boy Harry. But if you want Severus to respect you, and after him the other members of the circle, you must lean into it. You must show strength and if need be ruthlessness." Remus leant down and stared Harry in the eyes. "Do you understand?"
"Yes," Harry blinked a few times. "You need to go retrieve Snape." He said firmly. Remus smiled approvingly. After Snape's letter had arrived Harry and Remus had discussed how best to handle speaking with him. They had determined that Harry himself should not go to Diagon to meet him. It would be showing that Snape had the power to determine where and when he spoke with Harry, Remus said, so Remus would retrieve Snape from Diagon and bring him to the manor. After he arrived, Remus would inform Harry of their arrival then Harry and Snape would meet privately in Harry's new study.
"Then I am off," Remus said with a smile. "See you soon." Harry bit his lip and muttered a goodbye. He watched Remus disappear around the corner and heard the flames of the floo flaring to life then sputtering out.
He cracked his neck, took a breath and then turned to head up the stairs to his study.
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Harry ran his hands over the dark desk for what felt like the hundredth time. He didn't know exactly how long he had been waiting for Remus to return with Snape but it felt like hours. Harry had been sitting in silence in his office, left to his thoughts and worries.
For a while he had tried to figure out what exactly to say to Snape when he arrived, but that train of thought had just stressed him out so instead Harry had decided he would just wing it. After that Harry had tried to distract himself by looking through the desk. It was pretty empty, with only some parchment, spare quills and ink in the draws. So that direction had bored him stiff. The only option besides those two was reading a book from the shelf against the wall, but Harry really didn't want to do that, not while he was waiting for Snape, he wouldn't be able to remember a thing he read.
