NELLY

From Kaykay 2 Kayla: Chapter 4

" Ms. Kayla we ready for ya" called Sgt. Morris as I packed the rest of my things. A week had past since Nelly had been released and finally it was time for me to break free.

"So I'll be seeing you tomorrow right Kaykay?" asked Porsha, as she packed the last of her things.

"Yep I'll be around. Just call the number I gave you." We hugged and I headed out the facility.

"Hhmm you'll be back" mumbled Sgt. Morris as he opened the last gate to the prison. Sgt. Morris had been employed for the prison for about 13 years. I had been to prison twice since he had been there. He once told me that he'd seen my kind before. My kind being someone with the brains of a scientist but the pride of a deadman. Those words ate at me everyday I was there. But was he right? Had my pride landed me in that place for a second time? Was my pride gonna bring me back for life. . . or was it gonna send me walking right into a grave.

Looking out into the parking lot, I wondered who would be picking me up. My mom was paralyzed, so I knew she wouldn't be coming. Only for me to spot a car that made my knees weak. A car that brought back so many demons that I had been fighting since my stay in prison. A car that told me that my life in the free world would be one that just may prove Sgt. Morris right. It was my Uncle Larry, ruler of the westside of Atlanta and the kingpin of its drug cartel. Uncle Larry, who was about 6'2, big, black as hell, and never really smiled. I'd heard stories of him from back in the days. People say he killed him and mama's brother Brandon. That's probably why mama always referred to him as a "cold hearted mother fucker".

As I walked slowly towards his black cadillac, I had thoughts of declining the ride. But knowing Uncle Larry, he would probably beat my ass and drag me into the passenger seat, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE PRISON.

"Nice seeing you Uncle Larry and thanks for the ride." I said as he drove off, puffing on a cigar, and not looking in my direction.

" Look behind your seat. I got a package for you."

"What kind of package?" I asked. He turned slowly and gave me a look that I knew meant to shut the fuck up and open the package. When I placed it in my lap, I knew exactly what it was. I could smell the fainting scent from the outside of the plastic. I grabbed a pen from his cup holder and slit a hole in the tightly wrapped plastic. The whitish tan bricks made me sick. I didn't want this life. I had vowed to do better with my sisters Porsha and Nelly.

"Unc I know what ya'll thinking but this ain't me. I'm not doing this anymore. I'll try getting a job somewhere to help mama as much as I can but this ain't part of my life anymore." I put the package back behind the seat and stared out the window. I knew that Uncle Larry wasn't having that.

We pulled up to my mama's house and I quickly grabbed my things, hoping he would forget about the crack behind the passenger seat.

"Kaykay, don't forget your package and it better be all sold by this time next week." he said in a deep, scary ass voice as he threw the package on the passenger seat. I turned slowly picking it up, eyes watering, and headed for the front door.

The house was the same as I'd remembered from 2 years ago, nothing out of place. Still the same ole brown and green couches and the same ole little glass angels on ever table and cabinet. I opened the door to my younger siblings room, hoping to at least get a welcome home hug. There they sat. All four of them. Weighing. Packaging. Counting. They all stopped what they were doing and looked at me. Neither one spoke.

"What's up Megan. . .LJ. . .Dman. . . .Torrance?"

"Welcome back" said Torrance, not even looking up from what he was doing. I closed the door and looked down the hall to mama's room. I could hear her moving around.

" Yes I'm still alive Kaykay" she said as I opened the room door. It smelled of marijuana and Hawaiian Breeze candles.

"I know mama. . . .how have you been?"

" Better now that my Kaykay is home. I know everything gone be good now that you're back. I lost my two oldest boys but I still got my oldest girl."

" Mama, Uncle Larry gave this to me", I said throwing the package of crack on her bed.

" Yeh baby, you gone have t start pulling yo weight round here if you gonna be here."

" Mama I'm done with that. I'm thinking about getting a job. . . going back to school and basically getting myself together." She looked at me laughing as she attempted to fix her wig.

"Baby that's what all ya'll convicts say when ya'll get out. But you gone be back in rotation. As soon as you realize that them people ain't gone hire a black woman who done been to prison twice in her life."

" Mama why can't you just support me. You shouldn't want your kids in the streets like this. The streets killed my brothers. You got your younger kids in there bagging up dope and weed and you sitting back her drinking Ciroc. They're only kids mama. They don't need that and I don't either. What kind of mama are you?" I asked, suddenly seeing her reach for her table vase and then chunking it right at me. I blocked the vase with my hand, slicing it down the side.

"You think you better than me now bitch?! I'm yo mama and this is my house!" she yelled as I jumped up and headed for the restroom, blood flowing down my hand and onto the floor. My siblings must've heard the vase breaking. They met me in the hall. As I cried silently, washing my hand and putting pressure on my womb, I noticed Megan and L.J. in the hallway cleaning up the puddle of blood. I decided to take a long shower.

I cried as the water rolled off my body. I wept for not only me, but my siblings. I cried for not only us, but my mom too. Getting out the shower, I noticed myself in the mirror. This was not the person I remembered. I was once as stunning as the girls on t.v. It wasn't until the streets got me that I started to diminish. I hated my fast aging face. The cut above my eye did nothing for me either. I then made up my mind. I was not gonna fall victim to the streets. Fuck mama. I had to do me. I no longer wanted to date women either. Fuck them bitches too.

I dried off and went into me and my sister's room, roaming her side of the closet. I grabbed a pair of nice fitted destroyed jeans and a red and white stripped Ralph Lauren t-shirt. I took down my braids, leaving my hair long and crinkled. I even put on a touch of make-up. As I slipped into a pair of red sandals, I noticed Megan looking at me. She gave me a quick smile and headed towards the bathroom. I picked up the phone and called Nelly, letting her know I was finally home.

This was me now. No women. No drugs. No prison. This was the new me. I was no longer Kaykay. I had turned back into Kayla again. But for how long. . . . .