NELLY

Who Can I Run To: Chapter 14

"Ouch DJ!!!!" I said in pain as I attempted to play the tickle game. "Let's just watch a little tv. You're getting a little too ruff for me." It had been almost a week since the fight with me and Nelly and my face still hurted like the day of.

"Porsha I'll be glad when you get all better. Then we can play again. I would tickle that woman until she cried if I saw her." DJ said as he jumped up and down on the ottoman. Damien and I told DJ that I was in a car wreck and the lady who hit me was a woman. Shit, the way I felt, I think a car wreck would've been much easier to deal with.

DJ finally settled down as we watched Disney Channel. I heard the door open and I knew it was Damien. He came in the house and went right over to DJ not even looking in my direction. He hadn't really talked to me since I told him the truth behind what made Nelly snap. We hadn't even had sex and that was out of the norm. Damien and I had sex everyday, sometimes two or three times a day. As hard as it was for me to admit, I needed sex. I had become my medicine. I itched for it now and Damien just wasn't in the mood.

"I made dinner baby." I said to Damien as he continued to wrestle with DJ as if he didn't hear me talking. All the silent treatment was beginning to work on my last nerves. I stood up over him and DJ.

"Damien I cooked. I said in a irritated voice. "Would you like me to fix your plate?"

"Go in your room DJ. Let daddy and Porsha talk for a while." he laughed as he got up from the floor. He headed for the kitchen and I followed behind and started fixing his plate.

"Porsha I'm not gone lie. That shit you did to Nelly was fucked up. It makes me wonder a lot about you. I brought you into my home and around my child. You could be planning something against us. That was cold. But the only thing that's keeping you around is the pain your holding. Your going to speak with a counselor in the morning. And we going to talk to your parents too. You gotta talk to them or you gone continue to hurt."

"I'm not talking to my parents Damien you can forget that. And I'm not crazy. I don't need a counselor." He walked over to me and slowly took his plate out of my hand, standing closely in front of me.

"See you don't get it Porsha. You have no choice. Either you talk to the counselor and your family. . . . or you get the fuck out my house." He turned and headed to the living room.

We sat there, watching television until Damien and DJ fell asleep on the sofa. I put DJ in his bed and walked back into the living room. Damien wasn't there. I walked into the bedroom and noticed him lying on his side of the bed. I took off all of my clothes and walked over to Damien, slid under the cover and lowered my body until my face was aligned with his penis. As I attempted to pull his penis out of his boxers, he moved my hands and rolled to the other side of the bed. I followed him over and hopped on top of him, kissing and moaning, attempting to bring life to his lifeless manhood.

"Baby please make love to me. I want you right now." I moaned softly. Damien rolled over viciously, throwing me off of him and almost off the bed. He was super serious but I really wanted to have sex. I picked my clothes up off the floor and headed to the bathroom to take a cold shower.

Getting dressed, I started to feel sick in the stomach. I knew Damien meant well, but that womb from my mother was too big to heal. Mentally, I was not prepared to talk to her. I decided to pack my things and leave.

Me: Can you scoop me up?
Kaykay: I'll ask my lady friend for you.
Me: Cool

I grabbed my purse and keys and headed for the door. I wasn't sure if I would ever come back. I wasn't sure if Damien would want me to.

"Porsha this is Victoria but you can call her Vickie." Kaykay said introducing me to her friend.

" I remember you Porsha!! We went to elementary school together before my parents moved to the westside of Georgia. I was a little bigger than I am now though." I leaned up, bringing my head between the two front seats and looked directly into Victoria's face.

"Oh shit!" I laughed. "It is you! You lost a little weight huh?" I did remember her. And she was a hell of a lot smaller than she was back then and a lot prettier too. She probably was looking at me and saying the total opposite. I tried to put on a little makeup and hide the bruises in my face. I swooped my hair over the scar and stitches in my forehead. I knew it was still visible. I didn't know why I had even left the house.

We pulled up to Mama Joe's to get something to eat. It was packed as I expected for an average Friday night after club hours. I couldn't go in there anyway. Jalisa was surely looking for me and I didn't want to run into her.

"It's way too packed in there y'all. Let's just go to Waffle House or Ihop." I suggested.

"Nah I'll wait." added Kaykay. "I've been craving one of their shrimp wraps."

"It's just too packed. We gonna be forever getting our food." Kaykay turned around and looked at me as if she wanted to curse me out. She really wanted that shrimp wrap.

"If we go to Waffle House, everything is on me." I suggested. They both turned to me and smiled as if they had won the lotto.

"Shiiiiiit let's go then!" laughed Victoria as she drove off. I would've done anything to avoid running into Jalisa. I just wasn't up for the challenge.

We sat down at the table and ordered our food. Not long after, we were eating.

" I'll be back y'all. I gotta use the restroom." said Victoria as she walked off. I could feel Kaykay staring at me as I ate.

"So you ready to tell me what happen with you and Nelly?"

"Ask her Kaykay."

"I did and she told me to ask you so I'm asking you." I dropped my fork and took a sip of punch. I didn't feel like talking about it.

" I use to work for Shawna before we became friends. She asked me to befriend Nelly and set her up when we got out. She paid me but when I tried to give her back her money she declined my offer. I got drunk the other night and told Nelly everything. She kicked my ass and I haven't heard or seen her since." Kaykay sat back in her seat, eyes turning red in anger. " I didn't know we would all be this close. I tried to end it but Shawna wasn't having it. I love y'all like my own sisters." Tears started to run down my face. "Damien is not talking to me either. He wants me to get counseling and talk to my parents. I can't do it. But he said if I don't he's gonna put me out, so I left." Kaykay didn't say anything, just looked at me as if she wanted to jump across the table. Just then, Victoria came back, sat down, and looked at us as if she was totally confused.

"Hell what I miss? What's wrong?" asked Victoria.

"Nothing at all." Kaykay answered. "I'm ready to go."

The ride home was very quiet. I could hear Kaykay mumbling to herself in the passenger seat. I didn't say a word.

" She going back home Vickie." said Kaykay with an attitude. About 15 minutes later, we were back in Damien's yard. I grabbed my purse and got out of the car, walking slowly towards the door.

"Porsha!" yelled Kaykay as she ran over to me. " I brought you back here so you can get help. That man loves you and so do I. But if you don't talk to the counselor and your folks, I will be distancing myself from you too. We all got problems Porsha, but you really need some fuckin help." Kaykay walked back to the car and they drove off. I was still there, sitting on the steps. Talking to my mom was my worst fear. I would've did the counseling, but I couldn't talk to her. But I had no choice.

I walked back into the house and got in the bed with Damien. I began to pray for forgiveness. I prayed for my new family. I prayed for my friends. I prayed for courage. I prayed for understanding. I prayed for me. I knew I was fighting a big demon. I just didn't know if I were strong enough to do so. But fighting a demon was taking all of my energy. I was hurting everyone around me. I had no one to run to. I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. . . . .