NELLY

Old Habits: Chapter 3

"Girl today's the big day!" yelled Kaykay as she shook my legs. "You should've been dressed, packed, and waiting at da door for yo ride at 4 o'clock."

"I'm packed. Just gotta get dressed" I answered, getting up and headed to the bathroom. I almost felt sick to my stomach with excitement. I was finally getting out that shit-hole.

As I finished up, I turned to walk back to my cell, not noticing Shawna standing behind me.

" So you a free bird come today huh?" she asked me, leaning against the wall.

"Yeh Shawna, I'm headed out now."

" Make sure you tell Jake I looked out for his lil bitch."

" Shawna what da fuck you talkin bout?" She started laughing and walked slowly towards me.

"I know Jake. He told me all about you and him and how you took his charge for him. He my weedman. . . .and my daughter's father. He told me about you. Think about it Nelly. All them sexual gestures I made towards you. . . .I would've been creeped into your cell during one of your evening naps and took that twaut. I get what I want. I run this. I just decided to let you make it. But you'll be seeing him real soon." she said softly as she twirled my hair with her fingers. " You'll be seeing him sooner than you think."

I brushed pass her and headed to my cell. She had been talking to Jake, and I never knew that his child's mom was incarcerated. I never bothered to ask about her where-abouts. Was he visiting Shawna, but didn't have the decency to add a few dollars to my books? I didn't know what was going on, but I damn sure knew I would be finding out soon.

" So we'll be seeing you in a few days right?" asked Porsha as her and Kaykay sat on my bed.

"Yep. Just call my grandparents' number when ya'll touch down. We gone link up."

"Natalie we're ready for ya" said Officer Tucker as he walked into our cell. I gave my girls a hug and headed out.

"Don't bring yo tail in here no mo. This ain't a place for you or Porsha." said Officer Tucker as we walked out the gates. " Porsha gone come stay with me when she get out, me and my son. Ima get her some counseling but ya'll ladies gone be alright."

"So ya'll in love huh?" I just had to ask. I knew damn well Porsha loved him. . . .I mean his Johnson. But I'm not sure she loved him as a person. She had her brain wrapped too far around his penis to concentrate on what he had to offer.

" I guess you can say that. She's not a bad person. Just had a hard life."

" Well I know I'll be seeing more of you then."

He laughed as he pressed the button opening the last gate. "Yep you will. Take care Nelly." he said as I walked out the gate. Poor Officer Tucker. He really love Porsha. I just prayed Porsha felt the same.

I looked out into the parking lot. Thinking I would spot my grandparents' navigator, only to spot a familiar red charger with a familiar tall caramel guy leaning on it, dressed in a black and white Jordan shirt, with grey levi's and Jordan sneakers to match, my heart dropped. I started to feel that burning feeling in my chest. It was Jake. Why didn't my grandparents come? Why did they send him? Were they crazy? I thought they hated Jake. He walked towards me with open arms. I was numb. I couldn't move.

" I missed you baby. I missed u so much." he said as he wrapped his long arms around me. Still numb, I could smell the True Religion cologne pouring off his body. I exhaled. I'm not gone lie, he looked good as shit. I damn near dropped my pants for him. But I couldn't fall for it. This is what me, Kaykay, and Porsha had been discussing. I couldn't go back to him.

"Get off of me!" I yelled pushing him off and walking towards the main road.

"Baby where you going?" he asked, standing there in shock.

" Not with you"

" Nelly come on now. It's too hot for you to be walking. Get in the car and I'll explain everything to you." He hopped in his car and drove slowly beside me. " Bay get in the damn car. I know you mad but I'll explain everything on the ride home."

"Explain what? How you left me? How you never came to visit but found time to visit Shawna? How you haven't sent me any money since I first got in here?" The prison guards must've noticed me walking. I could see them loading into their van and heading over to us. I began to slow down as they drove up beside me.

"Is there a problem Natalie?" asked Officer Duncan.

" No sure just enjoying the great outdoor." I answered heading to the passenger side of Jake's car and jumping in. If they had thought something was going on, I would've had to go back in the prison and wait on another ride and I wasn't going anywhere near those gates.

"Uh huh" laughed Jake. "I bet that ass got right when that guard came over here."

" You can drop me off up the road" I answered turning and looking out the window.

"Look Nelly, I know I messed up. But you gotta hear me out. It's a lot been going on that you don't know about. I love you. But I had to take care of some things and it got in the way financially. Business in the streets been slow and they cutting hours in the oil field. My daughter's school tuition went up and I've been paying that. Your granddad was getting worse. He needed a heart transplant. Your grandma had been struggling. Hospitals bills to the sky. She didn't want me to help. Didn' t want to see my face. But I convinced her that it was the least I could do after what you did to me. I've been helping her with bills, while handling my own finances. It hurted that I didn't have the money to put on your books. Shit I felt like less than a man. They didn't want you to worry so they didn't tell you. He had surgery last week. I'ma take you by there."

"What about Shawna?"

"Shawna is Destiny's mom. I never told you she was in prison. Yes I take Destiny to see her from time to time but that is it."

I stared at him. It was happening again. Those feelings were racing back. I looked at him. With his perfectly trimmed facial hair and lips that I missed kissing, I was falling back in love. I couldn't fight it. This was my man. He was taking care of my family. I couldn't help. This was Daddy.

" Pull over Jake" I said as he looked at me confused.

" Nelly you aint getting out this car."

" No Jake. . . .Pull. . . . Over" He looked at me with a soft smile, pulling the car along the trees on the side of the road. We were in the middle of nowhere, but that was even better. I pulled down my pants as he began to lower his. He penis had erected fast and seemed much larger than I remembered. I climbed on top and we began to make love like old times. He rubbed my back, unclipping my bra as we moaned together. We exchanged "I Love Yous" and "I Miss Yous" right there on the side of the road. I could feel us both climaxing as he bit down on my breast. I layed there as he rubbed on my bottom.

" Jake if we're gonna do this, we gotta be there for each other. No more taking bids. No more late night hustling. We gotta better each other. And you gotta help me get my life back together."

"I gotcha Nelly" he said as he lifted me up and onto the passenger seat. He said it so fast that I knew it was some bull.

Did he really have me? Were we really gonna work out this time? Are my sister's gonna approve of this? Will they understand the story he just told me? Was it even the truth? There I go wondering again. Mind wondering all over the place. There I go back to the same old life. . . .back to the same old habits. . . . .