Easier

Support you?

"Good morning my love." I greet Lerumo who is sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. Last night when we got home, he put Lesedi to sleep and stayed in her room for hours, he came after midnight to me, and he cuddled me then he kept tossing and turning. He left me in bed, and I let him be for 2 hours, I can't pretend sleep anymore it is 5am.
"Hey Cherry yam, come join me would you like a cup?" Lerumo.
"No thank you, how are you feeling after last night?"
"I don't know, I am hurt and confused." Lerumo.
"How do I support you? Should we go home?"
"You giving me space to think is enough. I feel better with you here, I have never heard my father say that he is proud of me. I wanted him to be proud of me for so long that all I did was work harder with every achievement I wanted more, I don't know how to take his compliment, I've been to the house so many times that I missed that frame, I always thought it was Nkanyiso." He sighs heavily.
" I am sorry my love."
"I knew Lewatle hated me, he thought my life was perfect but Cherry yam I fought hard for my father to even acknowledge me, if I got anything less than 80%, he would punish me, Lewatle got away with everything. I knew that my wife cheated on me, she had an infection while she was pregnant and we both got tested, I came out clean. Dimpho got checked and she also had it, it didn't take long for me to add two and two.
"One thing Maite did right was to confessed, after the baby was born, we were going to separate. All because my folder brother doesn't like me, with all the money my father keeps giving him, he competes with me for everything. I hate visiting home, because I see how Nkanyiso hurts my mother's feelings, funny how they are always at her house and getting her help. I am sad my love." Lerumo.
I continue rubbing his head that's on my thighs. I listen to him vent until he falls asleep mumbling. This has me thinking about my relationship with Otsile, I wonder if she also hates me this much to plat my downfall. I send her a text then I send to Karabo.
"What do you mean you want a meeting with Otsile?"Karabo.
"Last night I witnessed a sibling rivalry that I don't want Karabo, what happens when I die? What will happen to Lesedi? You can't really take her since you are pregnant and have Entle."
"Hey, Fifi we can meet after lunch. Are your sister's invited?" Otsile.
"I invited Karabo only."
"Cool, see you later." Otsile.
I cook oats and take out meat for our lunch. I doubt Lerumo will eat. I hate Mr Ngwalane for putting my love in this whirlpool of emotions. I shower then make our bed, Lesedi is still sleeping I wash the pot and dish out the oats. I sit next to Lerumo and watch the news.
"Morning Mrs Mags, how are you?" I answer my phone.
"Fifi, how are you? How is he doing?" Mrs Mags.
"He didn't sleep much last night but he is sleeping now."
"How are you?" she asks, I tell her that I am good just worried about Lerumo. His father seems to have triggered him. We speak for a few minutes and then she says I should call her if I get overwhelmed. Bless her heart, I am also worried about her, I can't imagine loving children who treat you like a villain for years. I need to confirm if she will still babysit Lesedi otherwise I will need to ask Mrs Ngwalane.
"Mama." Lesedi.
"Hello, mama's baby." I give her a hug and pick her up.
"Are you not hungry?"
"Daddy." Lesedi.
"Daddy is sleeping, let's go make your bed and bath." I offer, she shakes her head and gets off my lap. She goes to Lerumo and shakes him up, he picks her up and places her on top of him and they sleep again. I make her bed and pick out clothes for her. I start cooking lunch which is mutton stew and rice with 2 vegetables. Lerumo cones to the kitchen for a glass of water, he looks offish.
"I think I must take Sedi home so that you can rest."
"Is this the street?" Lerumo.
"No, I mean she wants to be where you are meaning .."
"I am her dad, she sees me as her safe space let her be, unless you want to leave for something else let my child and I be." Lerumo.
"Love, tha..." He walks out to the bedroom, I think. He comes back 15 minutes later smelling like aftershave. I warm his oats and then he shares with Lesedi, I give them a bottle of water , I run Lesedi's bath and ask Lerumo if I can her because wow, tempers. I bath her and listen to her stories, Lerumo takes her out of the bath. She giggles as he dresses her, I noticed that he never touches her privates and bum, he always tells her to lotion herself and to put on her underwear.
"I love you daddy." Lesedi hugs Lerumo.
"I love you too MaNgwalane."
"I am going to meet Karabo for lunch, will you be okay with her?"
"Can we please talk in the bedroom. Sedi please go wait for daddy with your bike in the dinning room." Lesedi takes he bike out of her bedroom, Lerumo and I go to his bedroom.
"Cherry yam, I will never hurt Lesedi and you. I love you and I love her very much, if I do hurt you, it will not be intentional. I am feeling numb and triggered by my father, but I will never treat our children the way he did, I am better now that Lesedi is up, I took my meds as well, you can go out and I will call you if I feel overwhelmed. Go have lunch we will be good; I am sorry you are worried about me." Lerumo.
"I love you more, I am worried that she will keep you busy. I trust you; I will be quick though."
"No, my love, go enjoy yourself. We will play then eat and probably take a nap. Take my car." Lerumo.
He pecks my lips and then he leaves the bedroom, I change into my shorts and a vest. I tell Lesedi that I am leaving, she asks that I bring her ice cream when I come back. The walk me to the car and give me a kiss, I drive out and arrive at the coffee shop. I am the first to arrive I text Lerumo that I arrived safely.
"Future Mrs Magagula." Karabo greets, I get up to give her a hug.
"How are you darling?"
"Ke shap, Otsile called she is in the parking lot. Where is the baby?" Karabo.
"Le daddy Mags."
"I love this for yo know, you even have a bum nynana lately." Karabo laughs. Otsile walks in and calls the waiter to our table, I order a slice of chocolate cake and tea, my sisters have cheesecake and coffee.
"How are you girls?" Otsile.
"I am good thank you for coming."
"I was surprised when I received your." Otsile.
"I know, I wanted us to talk, Karabo is here as a neutral party."
"Neutral? Are we fighting?" Otsile.

Love and light.