After the whole serenading of the almighty Five from the Handler, Five exit the hall, his short legs seeming to walk quick in order to avoid me.
"Hey!" I shout after him, trying to catch up. I get ignored.
Right then, my patience evaporates and I run to Five, grab his wrists and pull him into the nearest empty room. "What is your problem?" I ask through my teeth. He raises an eyebrow.
"What is your problem?" he asks right back.
"Hmm... let's see. You drag me into this godforsaken place with no explanation altogether and say that you have a plan but doesn't tell me what it is, you ignore me for half of the day, you hang around with the Handler like you two are best friends, when it is me who you should be trusting," I probably shouldn't have said the last part but it's too late now. "you act like nothing happened and everything is fine and dandy. I have more but I don't think I have the time to list them all right now!" I take in a deep breath.
He looks at me. "You're jealous that me and the Handler are sticking together?" he asks incredulously
"No. No! What was the whole point of that conversation if you can't understand the main point?"
He sighs once. That's when I notice the uncomfortable closeness between me and him and I attempt to take a step back when I notice that I'm still grabbing his wrists. No. I'm grabbing his hands. I let go in disgust, but Five's grip is still holding on. He pulls me to the door and walks over somewhere and I stumble in attempt to keep my balance while being shoved into the bathroom. It's my turn to raise my eyebrow and Five pulls me into a stall. The space is limited and I move to a corner while he sits on the toilet cover. He brings out a bright red folder from under his shirt.
"I stole it from Dot's desk."
"Oh."
He opens it in triumph but his face falls as he sees the content of the file.
"Shit." we say together at the single white page with a smily face printed on it.
That's when I hear the door opening. I look at Five in alarm and he shrugs.
" So, how's your first day going?" The Handler.
"Couldn't be better." Five replies.
" Glad to hear it." She moves to the stall next to us and I cringe at the sound of liquid being released. "I burned my rugae. Ever burnt your rugae? Rugae. The ridges on the hard palate that help pass food to the esophagus. Anyway, I'm on a liquid diet for two days, hence the marathon of urination. One faulty cog,
and nothing works as it should. You know, we value integrity at the office above all else. Trust is essential, and that trust is... built over time. But in the event of a breach, the Commission will act swiftly and without mercy." A warning. The Handler exits her stall. "An efficiency I'm sure you above all people can appreciate, Number Five." The voice drops into something more pleasant. "I'm feeling peckish. Have you had your lunch?"
"Not yet." Five replies.
"Great. How would you like to lunch with me in my office? You can eat solid foods, and I can live vicariously... through you." I hear the Handler peek over the top of Five's stall as soon as I slide under the door to another
"Sounds great." Five answers. His voice is curt and tense.
"You can bring your little girlfriend too if you want." Heels clack away.
#
It has been hours since both Five and I finished lunch and the Handler is still talking.
"And that's how Phil determined that the archduke just had to go. Care for dessert?" My eyes widen slightly.
"I had a bad Twinkie in the apocalypse once. It kind of put me off desserts." Five says, rejecting the small basket of sweets that the Handler pushed to him. I look at him gratefully.
"Please, indulge me. Ms. Y/n as well."
Five sighs a little and the Handler lights her cigarette as we both reach for the candy.
"What does that taste like to you?" she asks both of us.
"Candy." I say as Five says at the same time, "The 1950s?"
The Handler ignores my response. "Precisely right. Our clever metaphysics division concocted a way to perfectly distill an entire decade into a single candy. This one's modeled after the Fudge Mutt, America's favorite in 1955."
"Remarkable." He actually sounds intrigued.
"You'll be happy to know it's the very division that's building your new body. Oh, that reminds me. I have something for you." She reaches for the intercom. "Carla?"
"Yes?" a tinny voice answers.
"Would you bring the box in, please?"
"Certainly." A few moments later, a woman brings in a large box. The Handler smiles at Five's suspicious face.
"Go ahead. Open it." He does and it reveals a large black suit with no wrinkle or dust inside. "Clothes make the man, Five. Won't it be nice when you can actually wear it? Very soon, I assure you. They're perfecting your body as we speak."
"Thank you. It's a very kind gift." Five forces out. An awkward silence stretches in the air
"Is that a Chinese flamethrower?" I interupt, pointing at a nearby cabinet. The Handler seems slightly annoyed as she answers.
"Good eye." She walks over to it and strokes it as if it's a feline rather than a weapon. War. Such a fascinating concept. A temporary salve for a permanent human flaw. Course, it's a bit easier to see from 30,000 feet." She chuckles
"These are just some of the things I've collected in my travels. M26 grenades from the Vietnam War." She tosses it to Five and he, thankfully, catches it. "And this, the most noteworthy, perhaps. My Walther pistol. The very one Hitler used" She pulls the edge of the gun to her forhead "to kill himself." she pretends to pull the trigger and giggles. "We're not supposed to take these kind of things, but... he wasn't gonna use it anymore." She passes the gun to Five "Feel... how perfectly balanced that is." Five turns it around in his hands.
"I had some thoughts I wanted to run by you. Some suggestions to improve Commission protocol." Five says instead of marveling the gun like I am.
"Mm! Shaking things up already." The Handler replies eagerly. "I admire that. Go on. Do tell!"
"Gloria." He simply says "The tube operator. Wouldn't it be simpler if case managers were to send their own messages?"
"I appreciate the thought. I really do." The Handler replies with a hint of regret in her voice. "But everyone loves Gloria. I- I would never hear the end of it." She chuckles "She's been with the Commission family for years, and she's this close to making pension." She pinches her fingers close as a visual representation. A knock on the door interrupts another speech. Dot enters, panting.
00:34:57,303 --> 00:35:00,431
"May I have a moment alone?" She asks.
"Of course." The Handler replies. "Duty calls. We'll continue this discussion later, Five." She emphasizes on Five.
"Sure." He answers "May I?" he asks, gesturing to the sweets.
"As many as you want." Five grabs a fistful as she exits.
"Was there a point to that long conversation?" I ask.
"Yes." he reaches to his pocket and pulls out the grenade. "This."
YOU ARE READING
How to Kill Time (Reader x Five Hargreeves)
FanfictionIt's the end of the world as they...don't know it. Five Hargreeves is supposedly back from the dead and Y/n Hargreeves, the eighth umbrella, tries together to save the world. Time is never on their side but you can't essentially kill it, or can you...
