Behind the Shower Curtains (Revised)

No More Water Colors

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

Clary

I press the wet brush on the paper. The blue paint began to bleed, creating rivers of paint that flowed through its crevices. Suddenly, the paint turned red, and I watched the paper turn to stone. I felt like I was back at the penthouse, getting escorted out by the officer. Blood smeared all over the floor, blood that came from Megan's body.

    "Clary?" I look up at my laptop and see Dr.Wesley. "Do you think you're ready to go back to school?" She repeats herself. I sighed and dropped my brush into the cup of water. My mom has been forcing me to go to these therapy sessions ever since the incident, and now with the accident, I fear I may never be able to stop therapy. I have been trapped in this room for around three weeks because of my mothers irrational fears of me getting murdered out in the city. The truth is, I couldn't fathom staying in here for three more weeks, but the new school I was going to got in earlier than St.Xaviers. Thank God for that.

    "I'm really tired of being locked up in here. I feel like it makes everything worse, like it's all I can focus on." Dr.Wesley sighs and closes her notebook.  She's tried to convince my mom to let me out, she's tried telling her that I need some fresh air, and that staying locked in is only going to slow the grieving process. Although my mom had started considering letting me go out, I felt like it was a load of bullshit. I didn't feel like I had anything to grieve for. I grieved the incident, but the burglary? I was just afraid...I wasn't exactly sad, and that sort of scared me. Did I really hate Megan that much? So much that I couldn't even shed a tear in her name? It made me feel like a bad person and that just made me crave a distraction even more.

    "I'll try to talk to your mother again, but have you been able to handle all of the changes you're going through? Are the nightmares still occurring? are you still seeing things?" She asks, she looked worried. I don't think Dr.Wesley likes the way my parents are handling the situation. My mom was about to enroll me at Shadow High School, which is a private school in Massachusetts, It had the best online program in the country, but Dr.Wesley implored them to let me stay in in-person school. I was very appreciative because I knew if I was doing school online, I would never leave this house again. So, my mother settled for Brooklyn High School, a public school five minutes from her house. My father obviously fought her over it, saying that St.Xavier had top security and there's nowhere in the world I would be safer, but she disagreed.

    "No, I haven't had any of those," I lied. I didn't need my vacation to go on any longer than it already was.

    "Alright then, this does seem to bring our time today to an end. I will see you again next week, but of course, if you need to book an appointment before then, you have my office number." Dr.Wesley smiled at me, she had a pretty smile, I didn't get to see it often but her brown eyes glowed when she did.

    "Yes, thank you," I smiled softly at her and waited for her to hang up the call.

    "Good luck Clary." She said, and then the call ended. I closed the laptop and crumpled up the piece I was working on. No more watercolors.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

     My alarm interrupted my sleep. Full of dread, I decided to get up and put on clothes. St.Xaviers had a uniform, so I never had to conjure up an outfit for school. I decided on some light blue jeans with a white bodysuit tank and a green sweater with some Converse. I grabbed my pre-packed bag that I've had since my mom told me I was going to BHS. It was a brown messenger bag with flowers stitched on the flap. It was a gift from one of my father's designers. I hadn't used it in a while, but the one I usually use, the one Jon gave me, was still at my father's penthouse.