Behind the Shower Curtains (Revised)

At What Cost?

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

Clary

"Clary" Officer Holes says, his voice was rough and raspy, as if he were in the middle of a cough. He had a brown bushy mustache and dull, tired blue eyes, his hair was brown, and neatly cut. "I understand how difficult this must be, but if we're going to catch them" He says the word "them" carefully, slowly, as if he were trying to dig the knife deeper, to make me give him what he wants. But even now, after being paralyzed with fear for hours. I couldn't bring myself to tell Officer Holes about them, about the only one of them I saw, the one who seemed to radiate a golden glow, a sun like gold. The kind of glow that had shined on the penthouse living room earlier that day. He had saved me, saved me from whatever danger I was about to encounter. I felt indebted to him.

    "I heard gunshots" I realized only after I said the words that I had interrupted the officer. He looked at me with his mouth slightly open, his eyes piercing mine as he waited on the edge of his seat for my next words. "So I ran to the tub and hid, then you pulled me out, that's all I remember," I tell him, clearly, strongly, quickly, and all at once, just wanting this to be over. Officer Holes sighs, he scribbles something on the papers in between us. He looks back at my eyes, into my soul, tugging at my heartstrings for lying.

    "If you remember anything else, you know who to call," He says, sliding his card in front of me. I take it and leave the questioning room. I felt my surroundings begin to blur, and turn into the same static I experienced when leaving the penthouse. My heart became violent, sending blood pounding through my veins in an attempt to make me faint. I suddenly felt a tight pressure around me, and the weight of my mother begin to crush me. Her hug slowed the rush of blood through my veins, and made the bright lights at the police station a bit more bearable. I could feel her sobs as she held onto me tightly, and before I knew it, my wish had come true. I was going home with my mom for the weekend. 

_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

    I sat in my mothers dining room. The table was made of glass, with wooden legs. She sat in front of me across the table. We both had a cup of tomato soup with a small baguette in front of us. My mother sipped her soup as if it were tea. The cuckoo clock my mother had thrifted not long ago lightly ticked as I looked into my soup. I focused on the specks of seasoning sinking in the heavy liquid as I slowly dipped my spoon into the thick liquid.

    "Clary" she says, much softer now, "I think it might be better If you stayed here for a little bit" I couldn't help but laugh, it was only yesterday when she had dragged me to his penthouse, yelling at me as to why I had to go. I can't imagine how awful she must feel, about forcing me to go.

    "What happened?" My voice was weak, as if I were on the verge of tears, but I wasn't. I remember seeing my father, I remember his face, It looked the same as it did that day, but so different at the same time. There was less pain this time, a much higher wall, but I don't know if I imagined it.

    "There was a robbery at your father's house.." She says, her eyes were filled with worry.

    "There was a shooting" I add, to assure her that I wasn't so traumatized I had forgotten everything.

    "At least a million dollars worth of items were stolen from downstairs" My mother adds. "There were two fatalities and an injury" She finally says. Could it have been my father? Could it have been me? Maybe I'm no longer alive, maybe he was an angel, and I drowned in my tears.

    "Megan was shot, and one of the custodians had a heart attack due to the stress of the situation...and the doorman, Henry, he was shot in the shoulder, but he's recovering rather well." My mom looked at me, expecting me to burst into tears, but I was just numb. I felt awful for Henry, and Megan was awful, but I don't think she deserved to die. I probably should have at least faked some tears, but I knew that once I started crying, I wouldn't stop, so I decided not to cry. I grabbed the spoon and dipped it into soup, and I put it to my lips. I thought I would want to throw it up, but instead, it brought me comfort and warmth.

    "I think you should go to Brooklyn High School'' My mother adds, changing the subject as she wipes a tear away. "I think It'll just be generally safer If we separate you from your fathers money and fame...I'm looking into getting full custody, but I don't know if that'll be possible." She was afraid again. This time, she was afraid of status, money, the power, that's what she fears may have led to this attack. I didn't care much about my school. I went to St.Xaviers, it was private, of course. It was built around an old cathedral and had cohesive architecture, which made it the most beautiful private high school in New York. But the people there never reflected its beauty. I could never fit in with them, then again, I couldn't fit in in most places. There was Simon though, he was my only friend. That was, until he started dating Maia. Mom swears up and down it was her doing, but I think he probably just forgot about me, like most people do.

    "Alright," I said plainly. I put the spoon into the soup and got up. I walk out of the dining room and loop around to go up the stairs, and directly into my room. I felt the hours pass me by as I sat on my bedroom floor, looking at the door stopper, staring at the iron coils and the white rubber that surrounded its end.

    "Jocelyn, you are being ridiculous!" I dragged my body to the door I had left open and peered through it. It was my father on the phone with my mother.

    "I am not being ridiculous. I think this would be the best course of action" She has developed this robotic tone whenever she talks to my father, probably to avoid an emotional outburst on her part.

    "The best course of action? Come on Jocelyn, you can't be that stupid. They would eat her alive at a public high school, especially Brooklyn High school of all schools. We should keep Clary at St.Xaviers, it's safe, it's prestigious-," She interrupted.

    "St.Xaviers has never been the most welcoming to Clary, Val, and you should know that by now. It's also not just the school. I think we should rethink the way we're raising Clary. She should probably start to phase out of the spotlight, If she isn't common knowledge to the public, she won't have a target on her back. Maybe we should start with her switching schools, and living mostly with me." My father scoffed, he could see where this was going.

    "Of course," he mumbles. "So that's what this is about? My wife dies and you take away the last family member I have left?" My father snipped back. He had slipped, he made it personal for the first time since the accident.

    "Your money" she said the word money in complete disgust, as if it were immoral and dirty.  "Almost got your daughter killed, Valentine. It's time we phase her out of it. Out of the press, out of the penthouses, out of the spotlight, and if that means she must stay away from you to protect her own life, then so be it." Her voice began to rise, and I could see her get up off the couch and start pacing the room.

    "That 'Money' is what feeds you Jocelyn. So I wouldn't start complaining about it if I were you. We can go back to court and I can take back the alimony if it bothers you that much." My father spits back.

    "I don't need your fucking money. Take your money and stick it up your ass Valentine! And go fuck yourself while you're at it" She yelled into the phone and hung up. Soon after, she let out an exasperated sigh and hung up the phone. I knew this was not going to be the end of it. My father would fight tooth and nail to get his way, but for now, my mother won the battle.