Light Me Up Again

chapter 14

Elliot

Im on my knees watching the bedroom door in hopes that luci would run back in, be she never shows, I've lost the love of my life again and there is nothing I can do about it.

i pull myself off the floor and start to pack my clothes. All I can think about are the heart-wrenching words luci used to end our relationship. Im devastated, and I feel lost. My body is cold and unwilling to move, I knew I needed to sleep, but all I could do was lay in bed and recall my last time with her.

I message Lily to meet me outside, so I waited for her on the beach. "Hey bro, how are you feeling?" she asks as she throws her arms around me to hug me. I burst out crying, unable to stop or calm myself.

"Oh, Elliot, I know it's going to be hard, but you are doing the right thing. This is your chance to prove that you aren't the person people think you may be. " Lily is right, anna was my opportunity to show Luci and my family that I am responsible and committed to the relationship.

I'm still sobbing into lilies shoulder. "I can't believe I have lost her again, Lily. I had the perfect opportunity to have her, but I blew it. I blew all my chances; I felt lost without her. "

She tried to reassure me that everything was going to be fine, but I knew deep down it wasn't. I wipe the tears from my eyes and look down to Lily. "Lily, when you see her, please give her this, and I hope she wears it." I hand lily the bracelet. "The house will be free for you and colin, so live there, give luci and arlo some space." I kiss her head and walk inside.

I tried to sleep but I couldn't, it's 12am and there was no real reason for me to be here. I pack the car and drive back to my apartment in the city to find anna asleep over my bed. I drop my suitcase on the floor and I open the door to the spare room. I stand in the doorway and look into the room, and memories of Luci flood my brain. I lay down, and my eyes closed as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next morning, I woke with anna in the bed next to me, I didn't feel her move the sheets as she got in. "Good morning, handsome," she greets with a big smile on her face. I look down at her, half smile, and dive back under the blankets. I wasn't in the mood for her nor the world today, I just needed to be alone.

Anna walks in and places a tray of food on my bed and walks back out again, I have a sip of the tea and go back under my blanket. "I'm going out today with the girls," anna says as she walks back in to take the tray and kiss me goodbye. I ignore her and continue to lay in bed.

All I can think about is luci, I want her, I need her, I crave her. I wonder how she is? Does she feel the same as I do? My chest hurts, and it feels tight, I feel my body stiffen, and my breathing quickens. I can feel I'm having a panic attack, and no one is home.

"Omg Elliot, are you ok?" My mum rushes to my side. I continue to focus on my breathing till it slows. "Mum, im having a rough time. Anna gave me an ultimatum, and I have had to make the most heart-wrenching decision.

I chose Anna over Luci. " I break down crying in my mother's lap. "Mum, I lost her again, the love of my life, she is gone. I feel empty inside. When I arrived home last night, I saw anna asleep on the bed, but I couldn't get in with her.

" My mother strokes my head and as she hushes me "My son, I am sorry that you had to leave her behind, and you are doing the right thing by being home with your fiancé, but I know you love luci and I hope one day you two end up together but you will have to move forward, you can't go back into the dark place again, I wont allow you to drag anna into that place. So you need to get up and face the world as It is and keep moving. " she kisses my head and leaves to start cooking.