Awake

Part 13: Figuring it out

"Aww, that's how it ends?!" I say as I look at the credits rolling in. "I guess so." Eric laughs as he looks over at me. "They could have made a better ending. Like have them try to be together even with the problem, or I don't know, maybe they could've just died together and said something like; There is no time in the afterlife." He laughs. "Yeah, that would have been a better ending. You should have directed the movie."

I laugh with him. "I'm starting to think so, too. Maybe I should make a second part?" He nods and smiles at me. "Not gonna lie, I nearly cried, but they ruined it with the ending." "So, in your opinion, this was worse than a scary movie?" He chuckles and I respond laughing. "Yea it was."

-What were the odds that we'd watch a movie about something as similar as what I'm living. I hope the director of my movie isn't as lame as the one who wrote that ending. Talking about a lame ending, I'm back at the house again. It feels like time passes extremely fast here. In one instance I'm doing something exciting and the next it's already nighttime.

I look out the window, as I'm standing in the dining room, and notice that the weather is looking different from usual. -What a weird change of atmosphere. I think before walking towards the entry door. I step out of the house, standing just past the door frame, barefoot on the concrete floor. The once sunny view is now sulky.

The clouds are dark grey, covering the sun, and there's wind rushing through. It feels colder and the trees have lost their leaves entirely. There's no one walking around the neighbourhood. Not a single person, it looks and feels like a ghost town.

I step back into the house and close the door, locking it. It's dark, there's a candle at the entrance. -What is happening? Why is it so dark now? I take the candle to see better. The house has a whole other atmosphere. It's scary. The stairs above look terrifying.

I look above at the stairs and take a step forward, stepping onto the first step and the second. The stairs below my feet make loud noises as I step on them, as if the stairs got old and rusty even though they were perfectly fine before. I keep walking up the stairs, the thunder hits. Scared, I jump slightly and turn around.

-oh, it was just thunder. I turn back around and keep walking up the stairs, the steps creaking at my feet. At the top of the staircase, the light from my candle lights up a face in front of me, so I stop. I'm trying to figure out if it's my mom, my dad or my brother, but when I realize it's not them, a high-pitched scream escapes my mouth and I close my eyes.

-Not a nightmare again. Please wake up... wake up, wake up, wake up! I just want to wake up, and know that all this is just a bad dream. I want it to stop. I feel like I'm gonna cry if I'm not dreaming. I feel a warm hand on my left shoulder, I don't open my eyes. "It's okay. Don't be scared, Belinda." The person says with a deep voice in a calm tone. -That's... my name. I remember now.

I'm still paralyzed from the fear, tears run down my cheeks. The voice speaks again. "I'll protect you. Don't be scared, open your eyes." I shake my head from side to side, keeping my eyes well closed. There's a moment of silence. He takes my hand, his warm. "Alright. You don't need to open your eyes. I'll guide you. Take a step forward." He says. I slowly lift my left foot off the hardwood floor and step in front of me. I feel my feet step onto something slightly softer, like a shoe. He whispers. "That's my foot."

I open my eyes slightly, take my foot off his, and look in front of me. It's a young man, blonde short hair, green eyes, and he's dressed in vintage clothes. He looks at me with a soft smile, his face only lit by the candle. "W-who are you?" I say barely in a whisper. "I'm Ezra. I'll help you go back to your dimension."

"Why?" I reply curiously, I'm still a bit scared. "Because it is my duty to take lost souls back to their body." He says. "Wait, I'm dead?" I look at him, my eyes wide in surprise. -He better not say yes. "Well, you will be if you stay here for an extended period of time."

"What?" I respond. "The more you stay, the more chances of you disappearing completely. That is why I must take you back." "But the portal is closed." I say, frowning a bit. "Yes, that is correct. But there is a way to unlock it. The movie you watched had clues" He answers back. "Clues? What clues?" "Think about it, the main leads had one thing in common. They both wished for one thing."

"They did?" I say confused. "Well, okay, maybe it wasn't a clear; I wish for... but they did ask to be proven that they were meant for love. So what did you wish for? All you have to do is remember that." I start thinking to myself. "Think about it. What would make you come here?" I think for a moment before speaking. "Well, here I have a family... and food. Really good food. And... a big house, lots of clothes. Nature, really pretty nature. But if we switched, it must mean that she didn't have what she wanted either. But she has everything."

I keep thinking. "Oh wait! I saw a bit of her memories and there was a moment where she was wishing for something. But, no... she just wished to see Eric. Oh, but before that, she thought about... she had a dream and her parents didn't support it. Could that be why we switched?" He nods and listens to me carefully.

"She wanted to live a simple life filled with love, right? So ... maybe that's what I had. And if that's what I had, then maybe I didn't want to live that small life? Wait, she did have love, and she could've had everything here, but the dream of doing something smaller was so desired. She desired it so much that she had it by switching with me. But maybe I wanted something bigger? But why do I feel like being here, that wasn't what I was really doing. Like I wasn't really at the house most of the time. I wasn't enjoying the richness, the money or the luxury. What I was really doing was... love? Most of my days revolved around spending time with that one person, Eric."

He looks at me and smiles. "So, have you figured it out?" I look at him and close my eyes. "I... think so."

He looks down at me and smiles. "If it was something that I... really wanted, I would spend my days with that thing once I had it. Maybe it's not the person? Maybe it's not that I wanted Eric because I don't recall him, which means he wasn't in my reality. It wasn't something where I didn't get him, and this version of me did. I think it's not the persona that I wanted. It was a feeling." I smile as I think, my eyes still closed.

"Something like a romance, a love. A sensation. Like there's something sparkly in the air. Like there's that one bit of... fairy dust. The feeling that someone loves you romantically. Like a deep connection with two people that you see in a movie or in a book. In a fairy tale where you just can't separate the two main leads because their connection is just so deep it's unbreakable. It's impossible to break them apart. Even trying would just shatter the world because they'd do anything to stay as close to each other as they can." I pause before speaking again. "I think my dream was to experience love like that."

He smiles as he watches me talk. "In her memories, she didn't want to keep living. Could it be that I didn't want to either? If I had to direct a movie right now I would say. That this main character, who I might be, was looking up at a shining star at the same time that this version was and thought to herself "Sparkly star... I wish for something worth living for."

He puts his hands on my shoulders. "That's it." I open my eyes and look at him. "Which part?" He laughs a bit. "Most of it. But I'm referring to the last bit."

"Oh!" I tilt my head a bit to the side. "So I didn't have anything worth living for?" He looks at me and shakes his head. "Remember, not everything we wish for is truly all that there is. Sometimes it's just hard to see what we have in the present. That's why you have to be careful what you wish for."

"So does that mean I get to go back?" He nods and takes my hand. "Follow me." He leads the way to my bedroom and stands in front of the wide mirror that stands in front of the bed. He turns to look at me. "If you believe in the supernatural, I would have told you, it's not a good idea to have a mirror facing a bed." I look at him. "Well, I don't think I'm in a position to not believe in it. Maybe that's why I've been having weird dreams." I laugh a bit.

"Yes maybe." He says with a grin as he stands in front of the mirror. He moves his hand over the mirror until it looks like water. Ezra puts his arm through the glass and looks over at me. "You won't need the candle." I nod and put the candle on my white dresser. He offers me his hand and I take it as we step into the mirror.