If only I knew

Chapter Fifty *Final*

To say that I've gotten over him would be lying to myself. Even a blind can tell that I am not. I missed him like crazy every day. I'm putting up a long face every day. And I also told my mom that we broke up. Not sure if she's disappointed or relieved. 

Jas and Esme still think that I should confront him face to face and get an answer. Then what, I said, get a double blow in my face? I've lost contact with him, and people is now happily in his new relationship. Why should I embarrass myself? And in my spite, I've a good mind to go get myself attached too, just to show him that I'm doing fine without him, that I've moved on too. He's not the only one happy. But the truth is - I am not. I am as miserable as hell. Darn.

"What do you want to do on your birthday?" the girls were asking me. My birthday's coming but I have no mood to celebrate. Who cares about birthday.. everybody gets it too.. and I'm just getting a year older, so no big deal. 

"How about going to JB (Johor Bahru)? Do your hair? A massage? Or a high tea?" Jas piped. "I think I can get day off on your actual day!" 

"It's okay..." I said. 

"Oh - come on!" Esme groaned. "Stop groaning. That's why I say, if you really are upset about it, go and find out the truth from the devil himself!"

"How?!" I snorted back. 

"Call his agency, call his friend, call whoever - when there's a will there's a way!"

The problem is - there's no will - I have no will left. I'm exhausted. From all the crying. 

"Forget it..."

"Then buck up, stop moaning over it, and act like it's the end of the world - go traveling again, go take up some classes, whatever. Here we are trying our best but you are acting like the world owes you..." 

"I'm sorry..." I know how hard my friends have been trying to cheer me up and I have been very difficult. 

"It's okay..." Jas rubbed my back. "It's just a heartbreak. Everybody goes through it. You'll get through it eventually too. Now, the best remedy is - find someone new!" 

"Like who..." I rolled my eyes. 

"Hmph... if I knew... I would have snatched him myself..." she mumbled. 

I chuckled. "I thought you are gay."

"Says who!" 

Then we went into the whole argument about Jas's sexuality and preference and of course she got upset and ignored us. But that's just us. 

* * * 

My birthday falls on a Saturday. 

In the morning, my mom prepared a bowl of vermicelli with an egg, a tradition as passed down from my grandma. 

Before she left for work, she wished me a happy birthday and a good time with my friends. I was going to meet Esme and Jas for lunch at Ritz Carlton Hotel known for one of the best weekend brunch buffets. I know Jas loves buffets. I think it's more for her than for me, haha. 

When I got to the hotel, to my surprise, I was approached by the hotel concierge.

"Hi - are you Miss Casey Wong?" she asked me. 

"Yes I am." I wonder what is going on.. 

She handed me a room key instead. 

"What is this..." 

"Please head to room two-four-one-three. You can take the elevator from there," and she pointed to the elevators lobby. 

A room? Huh? I'm here only for a buffet - why would I have a room... wait - is this some kind of surprise the girls have planned for me? But - why booked a room? A staycation? I didn't pack any clothes... and it's such a waste of money. But I decided to follow along. So I thanked her and headed to the elevator. Level Twenty four. To my shock, level twenty four are the suites. They booked a suite? That's too much... I'm going to scold them when I see them..