Dangerous Obsession

chapter thirty six

Maven's Pov
When I'm done I head downstairs eager to put this day behind me. If I ever will. Arlo is in a black elegant dress I picked out for her. Explaining to her that her granddad is gone and she'll never see him again was harder than I thought it would be. She was more sorry that I lost my dad than she lost her granddad. "Are you two ready?"she asks and as much as I don't want to see her face near me or Infront of me, it's all for Arlo.

"Let's just get it over with,"

"Maves your dad died,"

"not like my life was okay before,"I retort walking past her to the car. Did I think about her every now and then?I did. But I'm not ready for any sort of confrontation, especially when I can't admit to myself that it was more than just sex for me.

"You okay Arlo? You're too quiet,"

"I love you mommy and I'm not going anywhere,"she says taking my hand in hers. She's so adorable and kind. She gets in sitting next to our daughter so now she's in the middle. I haven't spoken to mom since that night at the hospital and I'm not sure I want to. She took dad's last moments from me. I should have been there with him. I get out straightening my black dress before walking to the both of them. There's alot of people at the cemetry so I walk over to some of the people I knew as dad's friends. "I'm really sorry for your loss kiddo," is what I heard constantly.

Then why does it feel like more than a loss? Like my whole world just crumbled. "Hey mom,"I say trying to be civil and she just wipes her already wet eyes with a handkerchief. I stand there listening to the priest talk but all I'm thinking about is everything I could have done differently and maybe,just maybe he wouldn't have died. And who would even want him dead? Only his friends knew his whereabouts so what if it was someone here who did it? And is standing here content with the result? "Miss Barnes, do you wish to say something?" He asks calling me out of my train of thoughts.

I walk cautiously to where he's standing on the grass. One look at the coffin and I can already feel wetness on my cheeks. "My dad was the most caring person I knew. He has this glow whenever I'd bring his granddaughter to him saying she reminded him of me. He was ambitious and made sure he showed me what living your dream would feel like. I remember how excited I was for birthday's because he always had a surprise present for me and I always loved them. A dog for my 10th birthday or piano lessons for my 12th and it just goes on. Although he had his flaws, he made sure his family felt the love as much as he did. He is...was the most loving father I could ever ask for and it's so unfair that he was taken from us this soon, but I know wherever he is he's smiling because he can now watch over us.

I love you dad and will always remember everything you taught me, because it made me who I am. You made me who I am,"I say before putting my sunglasses on again. I'm handed a rose and guided to where his coffin is. "Goodbye dad,"I say feeling a lump in my chest but I swallow hard knowing I have to keep it together. He would have wanted that. When the funeral is done I decide to take a short walk to clear my head but mom follows me.

"I'm happy to see you and Frankie are on good terms again,"

"Mom please,"

"What? That driver was bad news from the start and you finally realized that I see,"

"could you fucking stop? Dad just died and I'm mad at you for robbing me his final goodbye and you're here talking about my failed marriage? He was always right. If it wasn't about you then it didn't matter. That should have been you instead of him!"I say out of anger and by the look on her face I can tell I took it too far. She's still my mother at the end of it all. "I'll umm be..I'll umm- I'll go see if they need me,"she says with her eyes glossier than ever.

"Mom I -"

"it's okay baby,"she says interrupting me, walking away before I can say anything else. Great just great. "Hey, are you okay?" She asks and I can't even tell whether she cares about my response or she's just being nice. "I'm good,"I say. They get in the car and I contemplate. I don't want to be around people who barely care that he's gone.

"You guys go I need to do something,"

"How will you get to the house?"

"I'll get an Uber or something don't worry," I say and she hesitates but shrugs it off. All she cares about is making sure Arlo is okay and that's more than enough for me. I watch the cars drive off to possibly go my parents house for the rest of the funeral. I walk back to where dad's new home is now. "I don't want to leave you here dad, honestly I don't know how to leave you,"I say. I stand there for a while because I feel safer being here than anywhere else right now. "Remember when you took me to my play despite mom saying I'm grounded so we both got grounded? I had so much fun,"I say wishing he could answer me back or hear his laugh one last time.

I decide to dial an Uber to mom's when I realise that he's never gonna come back. He's really gone. A familiar car pulls up Infront of me.

"What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you're alright,"she says walking towards me and I don't hesitate to wrap my hands around her. It feels warm and comfortable being in her embrace. "Thank you,"I say but she remains silent. "I'm so sorry about your dad, he really loved you,"she says confusing me Abit because she doesn't know my dad personally. I did talk about him to her alot so maybe that's why she said that.  "I'm gonna miss him,"I say still burying my face in her chest as she strokes my hair gently. I pull away realising that she might be weirded out by me being this clingy. "I need to tell you something," she says using a tone she's never used before. A serious tone with a hint of finality.

"Can you tell me back at my house?"

"Maven, I don't want to ruin your life any further,"

"Frankie's at my mom's with Arlo and I honestly need to be around familiar things right now,"I say and she sighs in defeat. "Okay,"she says opening the car door for me and I  get in. The car ride is quiet but not the uncomfortable kind. I don't want to talk right now and she respects that. I get out once she's parked with one thing in mind. "Maven, I'm not coming in,"she says stopping me in my tracks. I walk cautiously back to where she's standing now.

"I'm sorry, I just- how are you? How's lulu doing?"

"Maven I can't do this anymore. I can't keep clinging on to some hope that you'll rem- you'll see me as something more than an available person you can think of when nobody else cares, because I have feelings for you,"

"You have feelings for me?"

"Always have Carino, that's why I need to let you go,"

"what re you talking about?"

"You have so much in your life that there'd hardly be room for anything new in it. I want you to know that everything I've had with you has been something more to me than just sex. When I'm with you I feel like my life is complete again, like everything I've lost isn't really lost but I've been too patient and hopeful in something that will never be again,and in the process almost lost sight of what I didn't lose, Lulu. Thank you for making me feel something I haven't felt in a while, even if it was just temporary. Sarai sempre il mio amore per sempre," she says before closing in on me and planting a warm kiss on my forehead.

She cups my face tilting my head up before I feel her soft plump lips on mine. When she pulls away I search her eyes before she walks away. Why was she speaking in riddles like that? She was the only person that genuinely cared about me and now she's gone and I can't do anything about it because I'm scared of my feelings for her. I watch her car drive off unsure what feeling I should let my heart feel. What am I doing? She just told me she has feelings for me and I'm standing here instead of going after her?I get the keys from the house and take a car I haven't used to go after her. I might keep denying it but she makes me a better person.

She was there when I went through my divorce, when I had my miscarriage, when I got the news about my heart and she still wanted to remain by my side. She trusted me with her daughter and was always ready to protect me or make me feel better. My phone rings and I reach for it on the passenger seat checking the screen before I hear loud hooting feeling a huge impact from my side. I feel sharp stinging pains in my head. I feel a warm liquid on my forehead and coming down my nose before there's voices approaching me. I try to unbuckle my seatbelt but my vision is so blurred I can barely keep my eyes open so I close them and try to open them again but it gets harder each time and I eventually stop trying.