My Protector

CHAPTER - 13

[ AVA ]

What now ? I came up after dinner and now I'm sitting on the bed all nervous.

Will.. will we have... ?? This is my first time and i heard that it hurts. I'm scared.

The bedroom door opens and Ruth comes in, he grabs he's clothes and goes to take a shower.

I sit there panicking scraping the flesh at the side of my nails, at this rate I'm going to die out of fear.

He came out wearing only Black sweatpants hanging low on his hips.

No shirt, I can see his perfect abs, his hair damp and water droplets falling on to his chest and disappearing into perfect V 

The veins on his hand are poking out, he's freaking out. I know I should look away but I couldn't.

When I look into his eyes he's already watching me with a smirk.

"Like what you see ?" he asks and i blush hard, I bet my face and ears must have gone red.

I immediately turn my head pretending to look somewhere else.

He put on a beige tshirt and walked towards me. Panic flares through me, oh god is it now the t-time ?

Ruth brought a chair and sat in front of me, he took my face in his palms and gently caressing my face with his thumbs "look at me Ava"  he ordered. I slowly raised my head and looked at him.

His soft eyes watching me "take a deep breath"  he says and i do.

"That's it relax and don't take your eyes off me" he says as if he's talking to a child.

When the panic is gone he does let go of my face. "Ava, I'm not going to hurt you, not now and not in the future I want you to understand this first"  He says with so much seriousness.

My eyes flit to his, searching for the truth in his words, I nod

And then he adds "I know it's difficult to believe what I said, but you will definitely understand this in the future."

"I have never raised my hand on a woman, only weak people do that and I'm not one of them. I'll never hurt you So don't flinch from my touch okay ?" he repeats again.

My throat feels heavy and I feel like crying, the words he just said is the one I wanted to hear so badly.

"I-I'm sorry, it's not b-because of your t-touch, it just h-hapens and i c-couldn't help it" my voice shivering the whole time.

"It's okay, everything's gonna be okay now" Ruth says. He releases my face and i feel the loss of his warmth.

He pours a glass of water for me and i drink. I muster my courage and ask him "A-Are we g-going t-to... Umm i d-dont know w-what"  i couldn't bring myself to complete But Ruth answered.

"No"  he takes my hands in his, seeing the relief on my face he continues "I won't take the cherry between your legs tonight. When I do you'll give it to me willingly."

I nod.

"Till then try to get comfortable with me touching you okay ?"

"Okay"  I say my voice soft.

If someone had said before that Ruth Ashton is gentle, I would have never believed it. I'm starting to like this side of him.

Ruth raises his hand slowly as if approaching a deer and touches my neck, rubbing the marks gently with his thumbs, but I didn't flinch this time.

His eyes become dark and he asks "who ?" His voice was dangerous and no longer gentle I started to panic and then he asked again "who did this to you ?"

Now I understand he is not angry at me. He's angry at the person who's caused it.

No one ever cared for me before, No one got angry for what had happened to me.

No one asked if I was okay and here this stranger who is now my husband had showed me more care than i received all of my life.

I'm barely stopping myself from crying and I know it won't take much time for me to cry like a baby if he's being this kind towards me.

I blink back tears and try to speak but no words come out.

His face is full of rage but his hands are caressing my skin with so much care is that even possible ??

Ruth is still looking at me and suddenly he says "Ava show me your back"  the air in my lungs goes out.

I knew he saw the marks during dinner, i thought he would not ask about it but he didn't let it pass.

No I don't want him to see, it's horrible. My face and neck are bruised as it is but my back is horrible.

What if he finds me ugly ? What if he doesn't want me anymore ? What if he's no longer gentle to me ??

No... I started blinking my tears fast and felt like a rock had been placed on my throat.

"I-its..."  I take a deep breath "N-nothing"  i managed to say.

"I'm not asking you Ava. Get up, turn around and sit on the bed"  he ordered with the command and I did as he said. If he wants to see then let him see.

I won't be able to hide the marks much longer either.

I'm just worried about his reaction. I know it's been only a few hours but for some reason I feel attracted to him and now it matters to me what he thinks of me.

I feel him sit behind me "Ava relax it's alright, I'm gonna lift your shirt now okay ?"  He asks

I nod.

His hands grabbed the hem of my shirt and his finger tips touched my skin, a sudden shock travelled my entire body.

Slowly he lifted the shirt until my entire back was visible.

"Motherfucking ... Son of a bitch"  he growled with rage. He let out a series of curses. My heart aches I don't know if he's disappointed and cursing at me or I don't know I can't see his face.

My body started to shiver from hearing all the curses and from his voice i can sense that right now he wants to kill someone.

What if that someone is me ??

He stood and left I don't know where, i sat there and haven't moved an inch.

I had a hope that this man might not hurt me but I was wrong, he might not hurt me physically but he has the power to hurt me emotionally.

Because I think I'm attracted to him.