More Than This: A Deidara Fanfic

Part 5: Moment of Truth (And Jealousy?) Chapter 22

"You wish you had never met me?"
I stop dead in my tracks and sigh. Two days had passed and I had finally mustered up the courage to leave when BAM this happens. "It hurts...doesn't it."
He grabs my wrist angrily. "That's what this is about!"
I whip around, an accusatory glare fierce in my eyes. "God Deidara you're so oblivious! What could you POSSIBLY think this is about!"
"Getting back at me! Damn it Nioki!" My wrists were beginning to ache from his tight grip and he had backed me against the wall, my arms pinned above my head. But his fierce, angry glare had disappeared from his face and it softens. His voice lowered to a soft whisper that wavered as he leaned his head forward, bringing his lips to my ear. "I never meant to hurt you Nioki, I swear it. I'm sorry."
I tense up in anger. "You never attempted to fix it either! Sorry can't fix this Dei...not this time. Its going to take a lot more than sorry."
He sighs. "I just got too caught up in everything that was happening around me and you weren't there so...I lost sight of what was important."
I couldn't breathe. Was this really happening? I bite my lip as he pulls back and gazes deep into my eyes.
"I am so sorry Nioki and I hope I can somehow make it up to you. I cant bear it if you hate me any longer."
I shake my head, my voice dropping. "I didnt hate you Dei. And I dont hate you now. Okay? Don't think that." He had released my hands and they fell to my sides limply. I place my hands on his cheeks reassuringly. "I never thought things would be the same between us Dei. I thought I lost you and that you hated me."
"I could never hate you Nioki. Even if we drifted apart...not even if you hated me. I never thought things would be the same either, but maybe they don't have to be."
Everything was drowned out as my heart begins thudding loudly in my ears. Light tears had previously dotted my face and now felt sticky. I couldn't pull my thoughts together and I continued to be ever distracted by my palms itching and butterflies filling my stomach. He reached for me, his fingertips brushing the loose strands of hair off my wet cheeks and sliding them ever so lightly behind my ear. His hands were supporting the back of my head as he pulled me deeper into his arms. I saw him lean in and firmly yet seductively place his lips to mine, leaving a feather touch on my lips. I inhale nervously as our lips, moist with desire lock together again. He embraces me, holding me tightly in his firm arms as my body goes limp. I feel our hearts mold together until they beat as one. He runs his hands through my hair before letting them settle on my waist. I kiss back hungrily, letting all of my emotions play into the kiss. And in that moment, I realized that this is what I had wanted all along. For Deidara to kiss me and apologize for his actions but now that it was happening, it seemed surreal....
I feel someone continuously shaking me and I groan as I groggily rub my eyes. "Deidara?"
Hidan begins laughing manically. "Hell no. Do I look like a girl's toy?"
I slap his toned arm and roll my eyes in annoyance. "So it was just a dream." I laugh harshly. "Of course it was. It would be stupid to think otherwise." I run my hands through my hair quickly. "What did you want anyway Hidan?"
"Making sure you, lazy bum, dont miss the party today. Dont tell me YOU are gonna skip an Akatsuki party. You know they're fun as hell."
I sigh as I give in. "Fine. I will go change." I grab black skinny jeans, a black leather jacket, a royal blue crop top and some royal blue suede pumps.
Hidan wolf whistles. "Dayyum girl. You look fine. You could fuck me any day."
I grab his hand and drag him out the door. "Too bad there's a party to get to." I tease.

By the time we arrive to the club, it is already filled with dancing bodies and overly loud music pounding out of the speakers. Hidan leads me away to where the Akatsuki awaited at the special VIP area.
"So...what special club game today?" There was always something. Spin the bottle, strip poker, would you rather, beer pong, never have I ever, and more.
Hidan smirks. "Truth or dare."
I raise an eyebrow. "Seriously?"
"Well a version of truth or dare. We like to spice things up so in order to do that, we mix it up. Our truth or dare is a little spin the bottle as well as strip poker. You spin the bottle to see who gets the truth or dare and if they refuse or tell a lie, you strip a piece of clothing."
I nod in approval. "Exciting."
He smiles smugly. "Think anyone will bring up our little after party rendezvous from your birthday?"
My gaze turned icy as I glare at him sourly. "You better not Hidan. I swear on Jashin's life, I will find a way to kill you. Do I make myself clear?"
Hidan grins. "I love it when you're mad. You look so cute."
I stare at him blankly. "Do I make myself clear?"
He nods. "Crystal clear." We find a spot around the circular table on the plush red sofas.
"Save my seat? I'm going to get a drink. Want anything?"
"Just some sake. I want it extra strong."
I order two sakes, one extra strong and head back to the VIP area before running into someone.
"Sorry." I say embarrassedly before realizing it was Deidara. "Hey Deidara, can we talk?" Just in case our rendezvous did come up, I wanted him to hear it from me first.
He sighs exhaustedly. "Nioki, can we just not? I dont want to fight right now and it seems everytime we "talk" it ends in yelling. Just save your breath. Okay?" He walks away without another word. I silently follow after him back to the VIP lounge where we be playing truth or dare. I take my place next to Hidan while he takes his next to Tukiko. I hand Hidan his drink and he began explaining the Akatsuki version of Truth or Dare to Tukiko.
Sasori spins the bottle and it lands on me. "Truth or dare Nioki?"
"Dare." I say confidently. What's the worst he could come up with? I mean honestly Sasori's not that bad.
He smirks cynically. "I dare you to kiss Deidara." He lets that sink in before looking back and forth between me and Deidara.
I freeze. He HAD to be kidding me. I take it back. Sasori is a little evil, cunning bastard. Ugh I hated him right now. I look up at Deidara with a look of disgust in my eyes. "You've GOT to be kidding me!" I spit.
Sasori laughs. "It's a dare Nioki. You either do it or you don't."
I glare at him. "Fuck you Sasori." I stand and hurriedly strip off my jacket before sitting back down.
Hidan smirks. "Oh did we forget to mention the strip rules? Only main pieces of clothing. Top comes off."
"Fine." I pull my shirt above my head and set it on the floor with a huff.
Sasori looks at Deidara with humor in his eyes. "Damn Deidara. You really pissed her off."
I give Sasori a look and he hurriedly shuts his mouth as he looks down at his feet.

Several rounds had passed and in those I had had to give a lap dance to a stranger, seduce the bartender into free drinks, party with a group of girls and then lie and say I was lesbian and lastly, answer truth to some questions.
"Do you like Deidara?" Kisame asks trying to hide his grin assuming he knew my answer.
I roll my eyes mentally before sighing as I answer. "Of course someone would ask me this question but I regret to inform you that your assumptions were wrong. I do not, in any way, shape, or form like Deidara." Okay...so maybe it wasn't exactly the truth but honestly, I was too unsure to give a completely truthful answer. Part of me liked him as a friend, part of me hated him, but mostly, a large portion adored him with my heart which I suppose meant I loved him even though we hadn't known each other for very long. But why else would I feel heartbroken and empty without him, so much regret at losing him, envy of Tukiko because she had him tied around her little finger, but mostly pained at all our fighting. But that also explains why I hated him. So in all, I lied. I didnt like Deidara, I think I loved him.
Hidan jabs me in the side with his elbow. He leans over and whispers. "You're lying."
I look at him amused. "No. Actually I'm not. But suppose I were, how would you know?"
He whispers amusedly. "You're right, you don't like him. You love him. In a sense."
I look at him, rage obvious in my eyes. "Fuck you!" I whisper harshly.
He chuckles. "I believe you already have sweetheart."
I roll my eyes but smile despite my best efforts to contain it and laugh, catching Deidara's eye. I elbow Hidan playfully. "Shut up."
Tobi spins the bottle and laughs as it lands on me. "Truth or dare Nioki?" This last truth was one I would come to regret yet I didnt realize it at the moment.
I bite my lip. "Uh I'm gonna go with truth."
He clears his throat. "Did you and Hidan sleep together?"
I jerk my head up and everything was spinning. I felt my throat close up and I couldn't breathe. This could not be happening. I make eye contact with Deidara, his eyes livid but I also saw a hint of what I thought was jealousy. I avert my gaze, no longer able to look him in the eye.
"Answer the damn question Nioki!" Deidara's voice boomed, seething with anger."Did you or did you not?"
I close my eyes and bite my lip. This was shitty and fucked up but I couldn't keep it from him or any of the others. But especially not him. I nod slowly. "Yes we did BUT I was vulnerable and broken and hurting." I throw my hands up in surrender. "I'm done. I dont wanna play anymore."
"Why?" He asks accusingly. "So you can sneak away and sleep with Hidan?" There was so much disgust in his voice.
"That's NOT what happened!"
He cuts his eyes. "Oh really. Then what happened? You guys just eased into it while listening to romantic music with a candle lit dinner?"
"You dont know the half of what happened? You know why! Because you weren't fucking there you asshole!"
"I dont know the half of it? Then why don't you enlighten me!"
"I would if you would ACTUALLY talk to me but instead you just blow me off and push me aside like I'm invisible to you! But I forgot, anyone who isnt Tukiko doesn't matter to you. So fuck you."
He chuckles. "But isn't that Hidan's job?" He then eyes me angrily. "What the hell does Tukiko have to do with any of this! She's not the only person I care about!"
"Yourself doesn't count." I spit with a sneer.
"You're damn right it doesn't but you do. And maybe I didnt realize it right away or it slipped my mind but I did care about you! But we went our separate ways!"
I laugh harshly. "You've got to be kidding me! Went our separate ways, you cared about me? No you went your separate way, leaving me in the dust to think about where i went wrong!"
Sasori stands up quickly. "Okay everyone calm down. Deidara its your turn to answer truth or dare."
He rolls his eyes. "Truth...I guess."
"Are you and Tukiko dating?" Tobi pipes up.
Without any hesitation whatsoever he nods. "Yes. Yes we are."
I bite my lip in frustration before fixating on the floor, imagining it would open up and consume me (which of course did not happen.) I laugh despite myself. "Of course you are. Whatever, I'm out of here." I hastily throw my shirt back on and grab my jacket.
"Oh, now you wanna leave!" He follows after me, jerking me around as I reach the door. "You get to fuck Hidan but I cant date Tukiko!"
"I was going to tell you! And its not like Hidan was your best friend!"
"When? When exactly were you going to tell me!"
"Remember before truth or dare when I tried to talk but you totally disregarded me and told me to save my breath. Yeah, maybe you should've let me talk. I wanted to be the one who told you."
"Sure."
"Seems to me like you're just jealous."
He laughs. "Jealous? Of what? You sleeping with Hidan? No. You know what Hidan likes, he likes girls who let him get between their legs. He chases after easy. A more reasonable explanation: You were jealous of me and Tukiko."
I raise my hand and slap him with as much force as possible and not regretting it in the least. "I am not easy or I would be chasing after you even after you let me down SO many damn times. Make no mistake. Everything we ever had, if we ever even had something, is done with. I hate you Deidara and you need to stay the hell away from me!" I jerk my hand out of his grasp and storm through the doors, out of the club.