More Than This: A Deidara Fanfic

Part 7: Conflicted Heart Chapter 26

Now that things with Hidan and Deidara had finally fallen into place, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I could breathe again. I lean back in bed, sighing as I stare at the ceiling. Why did things have to get so out of hand?
Something in the corner of the room catches my eye. I stand, walking towards what turned out to be part of a picture. I feel my heart sink slightly. Deidara's face grinned and the half of my face in the picture was smiling, eyes glittering. I run my finger across the jagged tear of the picture. I remember ripping it up... I shake my head. No. I'm not gonna do that to myself, not now. I place the half of the picture in the drawer next to the bed and close it. I don't know why I even kept it; I should've thrown it away, along with the part of me that yearned for Deidara, but somehow, it didn't feel right.
I jump as I hear a knock on the door before Deidara enters the room. He grins and gives a small wave.
I glare at him. "You scared me!" I walk up to him, slapping him on the arm. I step back, placing my hands on my hips. "Now, what do you want?"
He bites his lip. "I just want you to listen..."
I raise my eyebrows in suspicion but nod for him to continue.
"I know things got...crazy. We both did stupid things. I made really stupid decisions... And I want you to know how sorry I really am."
"Dei-"
"Just listen."
I close my mouth. And nod again.
"I was so stupid to be such a dick. I lost my head and blew up." He laughs a little at his own joke before continuing. "When I finally realized what I wanted, it was too late. And I respect your decision." He pauses, taking a breath. I didn't realize how hard this was for him. "I respect your decision so I want you to know I'm here. I want to be in your life even if it's just as friends. I want to be like we were before and I don't care how long it takes to get that way."
I feel a smile spread across my face and I hug him. "You know it's not that easy right?" I say with a little laugh.
He nods. "I know but I'll do whatever it takes Nioki."
"And...me and Hidan-"
"I know." He hugs me tighter. "Just be happy. I'll support you. As your friend."
I kiss his cheek. "Thank you. But I gotta run. I'm sorry."
He shakes his head. "No, no. It's fine. Go have fun." Maybe it was just me but he had this sad look in his eyes for a slight second before it disappeared. I shake it off. It was just in my head.

I laugh and slap his chest, which I was using as a pillow. "What are we even doing out here Hidan?"
"Just calm the fuck down. You'll see."
I roll my eyes but continue staring at the stars. Something flashes across the sky and I gasp. I stand up, pulling him with me. "Hidan! A meteor shower?" I look at him and he grins at me.
"Told you you'd love it." He hugs me from behind, leaning his chin on my shoulder. It was beautiful, seeing the meteors flash across the sky as they entered the atmosphere. It took my breath away.

After about an hour or so, I yawn and kiss him gently. "Thank you."
He winks. "Anytime babe." He says with a smirk.
I slap him. "Don't start."
He pushes me towards the door. "Now scat."
I stick my tongue out and flip him off with a laugh before running to the house. As I get to the door, I drop to the ground hurriedly with a scream before kicking the shuriken higher into the air. I hear Deidara chuckle and slowly come into view.
I scramble onto my feet, out of breath. "What. The. Fuck!" I glare daggers at his grinning face. "Deidara you fuck-tard! You nearly killed me!"
"Woah Madame. Language." He chuckles again, adding a slap to his knee for effect. "You good Nioki?" He points his finger at me, poking my forehead.
I slap away his pointed finger with narrowed eyes. "Close your mouth Deidara. You're gonna catch a fly."
"Get inside you sourpuss." He laughs and gives me a nudge towards the door. As I walk in the door, I quickly do substitution jutsu, appearing behind him. I jump onto his back and fake choke him. He leans forward, throwing me down onto the floor. "Ow. Fuck Deidara!" I lie on the floor in defeat. He attempts to help me up but is utterly useless as he falls onto the ground, clutching his stomach.
I flip him off. "I. Hate. You."
He looks at me. "Y'know you love me."
Although it was intended as a joke, we both fall silent. I make my way to my feet. "I'm gonna sleep now." And walk towards the room. Before closing the door, I poke my head out at Deidara, who was still lying on the floor. "Night Dei!"
He murmurs a 'night' and manages to throw one last shuriken, landing on the door just centimeters from my face. I close the door but only after screaming one last "Fuck you Deidara!" I lie on the bed, tossing a wad of paper back and forth in the air. It helped me to clear my head,  but seemed to fail me at the moment. My mind strayed back to Deidara. Today...this was the Deidara I missed. The one I had fallen in love with. Was it really so impossible for things to go back to the way they were? For us to be the people we once were? I shake my head. This wasn't right. In frustration, I throw the paper wad at the door. I take the ripped picture out of the drawer, observing it. I smile at the memory, the day at beach coming to the front of my mind. Those were the days before things got so damn complicated. I kept picturing Hidan's face where Deidara's was. Turned out that only frustrated me more. I place the picture back in the drawer and slam it. No. Me and Hidan. That's how it is. Deidara...despite everything that's happened between us, he's my friend. That was it. Right?