Shadow Of Betrayal / YokRay

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Ray yawned, straightened up and stretched. His head ached enormously, and his vision was still a little blurry. Sleepily, he rubbed his temples in the hope of relieving the pain. What a crazy night. He had gone to one of the fights again, accompanied by Zero, of course. They had been drinking, way too much, and Ray couldn't really remember how he had gotten home. Groaning, he got up and ran downstairs to check if his bike was there, and if it was all in one piece. Relieved, he realized that everything was fine with his baby. He went back to his apartment and straight to the bathroom, where he splashed some cold water on his face. He'd had the same routine for weeks, waking up caked in his bed almost every morning with no memory of how he'd gotten into it in the first place. After university, he would go to fights and get drunk there, or if there were no fights that day, he would get drunk at home.

It was like a spiral from which he could not break out, or rather, from which he did not want to break out.

Since the altercation with Boston he felt strangely lonely, he was never alone but he was always lonely no matter how many people he surrounded himself with. He missed Boston, of course he did, after all he was Ray's best friend. But he was too stubborn, too bitter to admit that he could make mistakes himself. He loved to get upset about how much the other had betrayed him, and had often talked about it with Zero while drunk. It had never occurred to Ray that he was the real problem in the equation. He was sitting on his high horse, unimpeachable, almost like a god. There were rules that everyone had to follow. Rules that above all protected Ray from having to show too many emotions or deal with the emotions and feelings of others. The rules were his safety net and if it was good for him, he thought, why wouldn't it provide protection and security for the others as well?

Ray looked into the mirror, strange eyes stared at him, it took him a few seconds to realize that these empty, glassy eyes, which were marked by dark circles, belonged to him, that these were his eyes, his face, which looked at him without any movement or emotion. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he was not well, his whole life was eating him up inside even more than it already had. Slowly he opened his eyes again and reached for a pack of cigarettes, which lay on a small shelf next to the sink. Greedily, he inhaled the toxic smoke and enjoyed how the hint of vanilla spread in his mouth. A shallow dizziness spread through his head. Smoking on an empty stomach and with residual alcohol, his favorite combination. Ray closed his eyes again and tried to relax. He let the feeling wash over him, savoring the momentary escape. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and stubbed out his cigarette.

He tried to shake off the negative thoughts. An alienate smile formed on his lips. He was Ray Pakorn, the king of the city, why would he let negativity into his life? Life was supposed to be one big party, a rush that never ended, and he wasn't going to let anyone ruin it, especially not a traitor. Ray put his favorite record on full volume while pouring himself a glass of whiskey. He downed the whiskey in one gulp and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and got lost in the music, forgetting all worries and troubles. Ray was in control again. He went to his closet and took out the pink leather jacket. Once he put it on, he was no longer Ray Pakorn, he was the leader of the Yolo Gang, one of the most notorious men in town and he loved it.

It was Saturday, which meant that exceptionally there were no lessons. Ray drank another glass of whiskey before grabbing his motorcycle keys and getting on his bike. He had decided to go for a ride around the city. Usually at times like this, he would call Boston, they would meet up, drive around together, and later play some video games together. They would order pizza, drink together and usually Boston would bring some of his homegrown, which they would smoke together. They would have the best time, laugh a lot and just enjoy the moment. But that was no longer an option for Ray, of course his own pride stood in his way, he wanted nothing to do with traitors and was firmly convinced that nothing would change about this, ever.