MEGAN

Chapter 13

Megan

Megan was hiding from her own bodyguard, which in hindsight might not have been the brightest idea Megan has ever had, but desperate times called for desperate measures and all that jazz.

She was quite aware that she was acting childish and hated herself a bit for it. She was Megan Jones, a fucking Dominatrix, and there she was, peeking out of her room as if Nik was a monster that was waiting for the right moment to snatch her and drag her into his lair and not a man who was probably quite confused by what had happened the night before.

But no matter how ridiculous she was acting, Megan just couldn't make herself face the man after the kiss.

Fuck, the kiss...

Megan thought at the memory of it. She could not forget it, no matter how much she had tried, and she had tried a lot. In fact, she had spent the previous night tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep since every time she closed her eyes, she was back on the sofa in Nik's arms as the man practically blew her mind.

Because that was what Nik had done; he had blown her mind. That wasn't a kiss, Megan thought, since nothing, nothing she had ever experienced, and she had experienced a lot of things, could compete with the way that kiss had made her feel.

Ever since leaving Rachel's house, Megan had been thinking about her childhood crush and how it had made her feel.

She always felt so empty, never truly satisfied after an encounter with a partner, both male and female, and she had thought that it was just how it was or that she just wasn't meant for the happiness of that kind.

But now, after finally remembering her past, she thought that maybe she had been suppressing another part of herself besides the memories of her childhood. After all, she had witnessed unspeakable horrors when she was just a child, something that had to be traumatizing.

So, when Nik had come into the living room offering silent comfort like he had been doing since they arrived in LA, Megan thought, why not? She knew Nik was single or at least suspected it, so she had asked, not really expecting the man to agree.

But he did, almost instantly, to her surprise, and so Megan kissed him. Well, not really, since that peck thing she did could barely be considered a kiss, and she felt quite stupid after the act, but then Nik kissed her, and Megan lost all train of thought.

And to her surprise, although after everything, she didn't really know why she was surprised at all, she liked it. She really liked it. The feeling of Nik's strong arms wrapping around her and pulling her closer, the way his 5 o'clock beard scratched her skin, and his lips...Yeah, she liked it all.

But then she heard a voice in the back of her mind, a voice she hadn't heard since she was ten, telling her that she was a disgrace, a sinner, and she felt sick to her stomach. So, she ran.

She knew that there was nothing wrong with how Nik made her feel. She knew that she deserved happiness and love as much as the next person, and still, something held her back.

Something was blocking her from taking that step, and she already knew what it was. Fear, as ridiculous as that sounded, since she had nothing to be afraid of.

She was free to make her own choices; she was her own master, and yet she felt absolutely terrified.

∞

Nik watched her from the corner of his eye while pretending to read. They were currently in William's private jet, on their way back to New York, and Megan still hadn't uttered one word to him except to inform him that they were going back home.