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The Beginning

One breath, two breaths, three breaths.

Who knew I would have to consciously think about breathing to make sure I kept doing it.

Four breaths, five breaths, six breaths.

How did this happen? All I wanted was to be there for him, and now look at me.

Seven breaths, eight breaths, nine.

I wonder if I'll ever wake up and see his face again.

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"Mary-Catherine! Would you hurry up? You're literally taking forever." Luke cried out as I kept looking at the rows and rows of books that lined the old dusty shelves.

"You can definitely chill. I'm almost done." I coolly said back, glancing up from my book giving him such a sly smirk.

He simply shook his head, smiling a bit and came and sat next to me. The bean bag shifted me closer to his side when he sat down causing me to fumble my book in my hands. I gave him a teasing look and continued to read, my body fitting into his side. This must be what it feels like to feel at home. To be so content just being next to someone else, that everything else fades away until it's just the two of you. I yawned. Dang it, he definitely saw that.

"C'mon booger butt, lets go home. And don't tell me you're not tired." He gave me a wink and stood back up which consequently made me fall into the space where he once occupied. "Hemmings, you're not the boss of me." I said quite matter of factly and hid my face back behind my book. "Oh no you don't," he said while hoisting me up and over his shoulder, "say bye to everyone dork." Knowing he won I simply waved to the shop owner and stopped resisting.

"You're grumpy when you're tired, you do know that right?" I just looked at him, irritated at the fact that I was actually grumpy and he kept pointing it out. He let out a laugh and poked my cheek as he drove the car back to our flat. I swatted his hand away and curled up next to the window. I would never have guessed that I would be dating the biggest dork in all of history. I don't think he knew how much I cared for him and appreciated the small gestures of affection. Of course I would never admit it, not until the timing was just right anyways.

When we finally arrived at the flat I drug myself out of the black car and trudged to the door, quite exhausted from the days activities with Luke. Before I knew it the stupid tall dork picked me up from behind, barged through the door and started twirling me around the living room. We were both laughing before we toppled onto the couch, out of breath, red cheeks and huge grins. He looked at me with his sweet, soft blue eyes and intertwined our fingers together. I smiled, moved his floppy hair from his eyes with my free hand, kissed his nose and tried to sit back up. "Noooo, you're not going anywhere." he said as he proceeded to grab my waist and pull me back to him. Wrapping his long lanky legs around mine and keeping his arms around my waist. These were the moments I loved. The feeling of his warm breath on the back of my neck, his heart beat in my back, everything about him made me feel so safe. I wasn't ready to tell him the truth. What the doctors really told me after my checkup that he made me get since I hadn't been feeling well for quite sometime.

The fact that I was dying.

How are you supposed to tell the person you love and who does everything in their power to keep you safe that you're dying and there is absolutely nothing they can do.

"Hey dork, let's get ready for bed because I'm not sleeping on the couch in these clothes." I finally managed to get myself up off of the couch and away from his warmth. "Carry me!!" he whined with that stupid grin on his face and his arms out wide. I rolled my eyes and just said, "Are you kidding me Hemmings?" I could see the puppy face already emerging and walked over to him on the couch again. "Piggy back ride?" I asked. His face lit up and he jumped onto my back. This never worked since the boys legs were ten million miles long, but he insisted anyways. I started laughing and him as we toppled back and forth down the hallway. I finally managed to get our two bodies into our room and threw him down onto the bed. We both laughed at how stupid we are and then proceeded to get ready for bed. I crawled into bed while Luke was still in the shower to make sure I got enough blankets, since he was a huge blanket hog. I had already made myself into a cocoon out of blankets when I heard the bathroom door squeak open. I heard him chuckle before he put the wet towel into the hamper. I was facing the opposite direction, but I could tell he was getting closer to where I was. I already knew what was going to happen without even looking. "BELLYFLOP!!" He yelled and then proceeded to jump flat on my perfect cocoon of blankets. His wet hair started dripping on my now exposed head and shoulders and I tried to cover up again.

"Luke, I seriously don't understand how you are so wired at 11 o'clock at night." I laughed and hit him with a pillow. "I just do it because I love you." He said, removing the blankets yet again from my head and kissing my forehead. He flopped to the spot next to me and got under the covers. After about five minutes of fidgeting he pulled me close to him and whispered, "Ah, much better." I chuckled under my breath and listened to his steadied breathing as he fell asleep.

I hadn't been able to get much sleep anymore, I kept thinking of how I was going to tell him. As I laid by him, his arms wrapped around my, his legs tangled in mine, I started to relax and not worry anymore. I sighed, took a deep breath and whispered,

"As long as I'm here, tangled with the one I love, then maybe everything will be alright. As long as I'm here, I will be home."