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Clueless

Michael's pov

After three days they let Luke leave the hospital. It was such a huge relief for all of us. I had only left once, which was to go get Mary-Catherine some food since she refused to leave Luke's bedside. I was scared to leave them alone together. I didn't want her hurting him, more importantly I didn't want Luke hurting her.

I could still see the pain linger in her eyes from Luke's betrayal. She was still uneasy around him, afraid to get too close. Afraid to love him.

Luke seemed scared too, but in a different way. He was more afraid of losing her again.

They seemed to be twirling around each other, a beautiful chaos about it. It was like they were in their own little movie, oblivious to each others thoughts, trying to ignore their feelings.

****

The ride back to the flat was painfully long. Since I no longer had a car and I definitely wasn't riding my bike home again I hitched a ride from Mary-Catherine and Luke. She was driving and they were holding hands as best they could with Luke's bulky cast covering the majority of his arm. They were laughing and talking, it was as if nothing happened. It was like the past week wasn't even real, like it was just a bad dream.I couldn't help but think about Luke crying on the bedroom floor in my flat. The way his body was shaking with each breath. How he would cry out asking why did he do this. I remembered the first night he came, how I sat with him in the bathroom as he heaved over the toilet. Puking up what little food he still had in his stomach.

I thought about what Mary must have felt when he told her. I imagined her not knowing what to do, feeling betrayed. I imagined her telling him to leave, not ever wanting to see him again. I imagined her crying. Oh, how I bet she cried. Her heart breaking all over the floor. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't hear her calling my name from the front seat.

I locked eyes with her through the rearview mirror. "Mikey, are you alright?" she asked in a concerned voice. Her eyebrows were furrowed together and her usually warm brown eyes were now cold with concern. "W-what? Oh, I'm fine haha. Just thinking." I quickly sputtered back to her. She looked at me for a second longer and continued her conversation with Luke. Luke continued blabbering about some nonsense that happened at the club. The same club where he threw away everything. I wanted to laugh at how big of an ass he was being. It's like he couldn't even see the pain in her eyes or the discomfort in her body language.

God, what was wrong with him. How could he not know? He loved her didn't he? I remembered reading a quote from a book when I was trying to find inspiration for a song that now applied perfectly to their situation.

"Be careful not to hurt people, they can begin to love you less. The pain can chisel their hearts, until nothing is left." -Bridgette Nicole.

How funny is that, I mean who knew that this guy I called best friend was so close-hearted. So conceited. Always wanted love from everyone and everything but giving hardly anything back.

Never giving back, never realizing what you have or how precious it is. He's holding the finest gem in his hands, yet he's still going after the worthless sequin in the dirt because it looks better at first.

How can you be happy with something else, if you're not even happy with what you have?