They Could Never Know (Editing)

Part 9

This time when I come home mom is completely different. Her hair is brushed and she's back to fixing breakfast, making coffee, and cleaning the house. She doesn't ask why I'm not in school and I don't explain either. "I'm taking you to your doctor's appointment today." She states. "Um, actually I have someone who I arranged to pick me up already." I lie. I'm not getting into that car with her. I lift my drinking glass from the table and take note of the ring of water on the table. If I was to leave my cup in that same spot, there would be a groove just like there was in the oak table. Mom accepts my answer but let's me know that she was at least meeting me there for the appointment. I just nod as I run my fingers through the water on the table. Her chair screeches back waking me from my nightmare that plays on a loop in my head. I pull out my phone and text Grant.

Would you mind taking me to my doctor's appointment tonight? T  

Of course, milkshakes first? G

Definitely :) T 

Light taps come from the other side of my door but before I can answer it swings open revealing Stacey behind it. I jump from my bed and run to her, "What are you doing here?" I ask as we embrace each other. Stacey squeezes me back tight, "Dad kicked me out, and asked your mom if I could come here with you guys." An expression of worry plays across my face. Not only was Stacey my best friend but she was also my cousin and her dad, my uncle, was just like my mother. Although I don't believe he ever gave his daughter away for a quick high. "You can't be here, what if she..." I don't finish my sentence; Stacey already knows where my mind is at. "I'll be alright, we both know not to go anywhere with her." Stacey replies. Though I loved my cousin deeply and had wished since I left that I could see her again, I didn't want her here. Not with my mom. "If she does try something Tess. There will be two of us to stand up against her." She says as she rubs her hands up in down my arms in attempt to comfort me. My door swings open again and this time it's mom. "I'm glad to see you girls together as if no time has passed. Tess, Stacey will be sharing this room with you till I can get the guestroom cleaned up." Mom says as slides her eyes around my room and with that leaves the room. Stacey hops on to my bed and I follow suit, "So when are you going to introduce me to your hot friends, I see you tagged with them on insta all the time?" she asks. I pick at my blanket as a smile tugs on my face and Stacey doesn't let that go unnoticed. "You have to tell me everything!" she exclaims. So, I do, I tell her the first time that I met Liam and how obnoxious he was and how Katy and Chloe never once made me feel like I hadn't been their friends since the beginning of time. Then I tell her about Grant, the situation with Mason, how Grant took me on a date just the two of us and then how he kissed me. After catching her up on my life recently I invite her to come with me to my appointment which she declines, she says that she needs to get her stuff unpacked, "And of course I don't want to intrude on any along time you have with Grant." Stacey adds with a smile. My phone pings, Grant.

Here! you ready? G

Coming! T

.....

We take our milkshakes, mine strawberry and his vanilla, to go so that we make it to my doctor's appointment in time. When we pull into the parking lot of Nick's dad's clinic I can see my mom's car already here. "You ready for this?" Grant smiles as he unbuckles and climbs out of the car, I follow suit and as I climb out of the car Grant slips his hand into mine. "Just on time! Oh, Grant. I didn't realize it would be you dropping her off." My mom says as she dips her sunglasses peering over them at the two of us. "Actually, mom he's not just dropping me off, he's staying." I reply as my grip tightens on Grant, he squeezes me back, knowing that I needed his support. We reach the doors and Grant opens it for my mother and I as we walk in. "It's very nice to finely meet you Mrs..." My mom quickly cuts Grant off by telling him to call her Beth. "Beth." A voice summons our attention from behind the front desk, Nick's dad. "I didn't realize that you were Tess's mom." Nick's dad says. My mom slightly shifts, she's nervous. I wonder how they know each other. "It's good to see you, Dr. Everett." Mom says as she plasters a smile on her face. There're a few beats of silence which is broken by Nick's dad calling me back to remove my cast. My mom stands at the same time as Grant, and without a single word I grab Grant's hand, moving us towards the back of the office. I didn't want her here in the first place, she didn't need to come. My cast is cut off revealing my shriveled-up hand that had been healing beneath. Dr. Everett examines my hand, pressing softly on different spots asking if it hurt. Besides the fact that my hand felt stiff nothing hurt. "Great news, you're all healed up. Before you go, I am going to have Grant step out so I can go through the medical questionnaire." Dr. Everett says. Grant leaves the room, and it makes me nervous that he would be in the waiting room with my mom without me. What would she tell him, would she tell him how disgusting and used I was. "Do you feel safe at home?" Dr. Everett breaks my thoughts. What did he just ask me, what did he know. My palms begin to sweat, and my heart rate quickens. "Um, I'm sorry yes, yes I do." I manage to answer. He scribbles his pen across the paper, I wish I could see what he was writing. "Okay, have you ever felt like self-harming?" He asks, this time adding that these questions were just generic questions he had to ask. "No." I reply. He scribbles again on his note pad. He was a doctor; he probably studied psychology and could see right through my lies. He finishes by asking me general medical questions and lets me out the door. Grant drops me off back at home and I immediately head to shower. I turn the faucet on and sit on the floor of the shower, letting the water slide down my body. The question of if I felt safe at home was a laughable one. I didn't feel safe, I felt that at any moment my mom could bring someone here into our house and let them into my room. I feared that she could force me into the car with her and drive me back to his place. The only time I felt safe was when I was anywhere but here. A knock comes to the bathroom door, reminding me that Stacey still needed to shower. I turn the water off and step out of the shower, wiping the fogged mirror with my hand, my face was red and puffy. I splash cold water around my eyes before opening the door and readying myself for bed. My head sinks into my pillow and I pull my blankets over my shoulders, they give me a sense of protection and warmth. 

.....

My chest is digging into the table, his hand on my back pushing harder and harder. I try to suck in a breath of air which just causes my lungs to fill with dirty cigarettes.  

.....

I wake in a fit of coughs, clutching my chest as I try to tell myself to take deep breaths, it was just a nightmare. "You ok?" Stacey asks her voice still groggy. I just nod and push myself out of bed, it was time to get ready for school. I had gone back to wearing my cute clothes and doing my makeup the last few months, but today I opted for my sweats and a hoodie. I threw on some mascara carelessly, taking note of the dark circles that makes my face look sunken, and plopped my hair into a bun on top of my head. Stacey had very different plans for her first day outfit. She looked gorgeous, like she always did. Her hair was a tamed straight blonde color, and her cheek bones were more defined than mine. She has these piercing blue eyes with speckles of different colors that I envy. She slides lip gloss along her top and bottom lip, finishing her routine with the smack of her lips. "Why do you look like a homeless person today, Tess?" Stacey questions as we head down to the kitchen for breakfast. "I don't feel like looking put together today I guess." I reply. I grab a bagel from a plate sitting on the table and head to the door, Stacey trailing behind me. What I needed today was to just coast, not draw attention, and keep to myself. As I walk into the school, I quickly realize that the idea of coasting was out of the question. Everyone was looking at me, whispering to one another. I feel an arm slip through mine, Katy. "Don't worry, they are all just broken hearted that Grant chose you." Chloe says as she joins us. I quickly introduce Stacey to the girls, and they seem to hit it off right away. I reach my locker and spin my lock, putting in my combination. "Good morning, Tess." Grant says as he spins me around to face him and he brushes his lips against mine. When he pulls back my eyes dart around the hallway, people were still looking at us. "Just ignore them, they will stop eventually." Grant says as he walks me to class. "I just wish they would mind their business." I reply as I leave him to find my seat. "Why does she look like that? What does he even see in her." A girl whispers to Allison. "Maybe he's already dumped her." Allison snickers as she eyes my oversized hoodie and sloppy bun. "No way, he just kissed her in the hall." The girl replies, I can feel both sets of eyes fall onto me. Liam sits down and spins around to face me, "How does it feel to practically be school royalty." I roll my eyes at his stupid smile, "They all hate me." I say as I scroll through my phone. "No, they are just jealous, give it some time." He replies. I set my phone down and lean closer to him, "I just wanted to stay invisible." I explain. "Trust me Tess, you were never invisible, to anyone." Liam meets my eyes, gives me a smile and turns his attention to the front of the room.