If I Could Fall (Love and Mishap Series #1)

Chapter 3

Chapter 3
Patient

I read somewhere that love is all it's rumored to be.

Some call it a very beautiful thing to feel. Some say no words could explain it. And some call it patient and sacrificing—a choice and a compromise.

Ako? I define love like an ocean; an ocean for its dark abyss and an undiscovered depth.

May mga kaibigan ako sa Manila na nagkakaroon na ng boyfriend. Even though we were still in 7th grade. I have seen girls my age being pursued by boys. I have seen them receiving flowers every hearts day and I have seen them explore their emotion and its capacity without any inhibition.

Kaya minsan napapaisip rin ako bakit hindi pa ako nakakaranas no'n? For them, it looks normal. But when a boy tries to get my attention, my heart quickly rejects it.

I want to experience it but I wasn't yet sure onto what extent. Kaya siguro agad akong lumalayo at natatakot.

Perhaps, I have read books that give me so many ideas and hope for it. A hope that made an impact to my expectations when it comes to love. Ironically, I'm a hopeless romantic girl who doesn't believe in love easily.

I don't believe in love that fast because it takes so much for me to consider it as love—something that stays and something that never gets fade.

Have I ever loved? I don't think so.

Have I ever fall? I did, though. On someone.

On Primo.

I have a crush on him ever since I was eleven. Bata pa lang kami ay hinahangaan ko na siya. We were classmates back then only if I stayed here in Negros. Kaya lang, my father's work led us to transfer in Manila. Now back here again in Negros.

Kung bakit ko siya hinahangaan ay muntik nang maging palaisipan sa akin. I remember, though, that Primorious was the first boy that made me feel butterflies in the stomach.

His friends in grade five were my bullies. Parati nila akong inaasar kapag dumadaan sa hallway o kahit paakyat ng hagdan. They tease me because of my hair that is so curl and black. Kulot salot daw. I don't have that kind of hair anymore though. I made it treated when I was in Manila.

I guess they also find me weird since I don't talk much. I only listen to the class. At kapag wala si Ma'am, nasa pinakadulo ng likod lang at nagbabasa ng isang paborito kong science fiction.

Kapag naman sinusubukan kong makahalubilo, parang napapatunayan ko lang na weirdo nga ako sa paningin nila. Is it really a mistake to have a stand on your own? Nakakatawa na ba talaga kapag hindi ka sumabay sa pananaw at paniniwala nila?

The boys would always make fun of me because I never reported them. And I would silently cry. Sa banyo man ng school o habang nag-hihintay ng sundo.

What shocked me during a particular day is that—Primorious Juan secretly gave me chocolate on my desk.

"Lah. Mahal 'yan ah? Binili mo?" tanong ng maarteng babae na k-klase ko.

I shook my head and picked up the chocolate that is on my desk. Recess kasi kaya maingay ang classrom. Kakabalik ko lang sa banyo nang makita ko iyon.