If I Could Fall (Love and Mishap Series #1)

Chapter 7

Chapter 7
Permission

I wish I could do this often. I wish I could always throw off these dark thoughts that poison my little happiness.

Kung sana ay palagi lang akong may magandang alaala panakip sa mga araw kong malungkot. Only if I had the freedom to explore like every child does in my age. Only if I had the strength to take risks and to break rules.

I am so sentimental in every little thing that happens to me. Pakiramdam ko kasi, minsan lang ako nakakaranas ng mga malalalim ngunit masasaya na mga alaala.

Perhaps the reason why, growing up, I have learned to value and cherish happy memories so much that unconsciously, I like recalling it inside my head whenever I am sad and lonely.

Kagaya ngayon. Nagkita nga kami ni Jessy sa City, malapit sa isang mall. And I told him what exactly happened last friday. Hindi dahil kuryuso siya. He disregard that excitement when I told him first what happened in the house.

"Baka ganoon lang talaga ang Mama mo, Isla," ani Jessy bago huminga ng malalim. "Maybe she's just strict because she knows you are only their child—their only daughter. Ayaw niya lang siguro na may mangyaring masama sayo."

Pang-aalo ni Jessy. But no matter how he tries to comfort me, masyado nang nasira ang araw ko. I should be used to it—to my mother who doesn't seem to care. All she care is their work, how to make money, and how to survive every single day. And I am hurt because of that.

Because as a child, and a teenager who is still learning to discover herself, I wish to have a mother who I can run to when things get hard or complicated. Simple lang naman iyon para sa iba ngunit para sakin at kay Mama, tila napaka-imposible.

I am in pain. That's why I chose to tell Jessy the details of Primo to reclaim the ideas—the idea and chances that I had that night with the guy that I seem to admire.

The idea that fuels my fondness when it comes to romance. The fondness that became my escape from reality.

"You have a car." I quietly pointed it out to Primo.

I saw him clicking a car key. Nakita kong tumunog ang itim na Honda Civic hindi kalayuan sa parking lot ng Elgon's.

He is true to his words. Pagkatapos nga ng tatlong kanta nila ay agad na siyang nagpaalam para ihatid ako. Nilapitan niya ko. I finished my cucumber juice, which he ordered for me before he finally went to the stage earlier.

Umihip ang pang-gabing hangin dahilan ng pagyakap ko saking sarili gamit ang braso.

Primo opened the passenger door for me when we reached his car.

"Salamat," sabi ko sa kanya at pumasok.

"You're welcome," aniya at isinara ang pinto.

Mabilis siyang umikot sa nguso ng sasakyan at pumasok sa loob. Nilibot ko ang tingin sa interior design ng Honda. It's nice to see a car that is so neat and classic. Hula ko ay walang ginalaw o in-up-grade sa kahit anong pyesa, sa loob man o sa labas. It made the car look clean and timeless.

"This car is a gift from my parents. Technically, it's still not mine," pag-kwento ni Primo habang tuluyan niya nang napa-andar ang kotse.