So Keep In Happiness And Torture Me

I Can't Live Without You Now

My heart was pounding as I walked up the path to Vic's door and rang the doorbell, and the number of thoughts that flew through my head in the seconds I was stood waiitng overwhelmed me.  Part of me started to regret coming here at all: Vic was being nice by offering but even the thought of him having the same idea of what was going to happen as me was ridiculous.  But then again, I thought, who knows?  I might be surprised.  If nothing else I get to see Vic and have him to myself for a while, which is all I've ever wanted.

"Oh, hey Kellin."  He greeted me with a wide grin; the genuine, warm kind.

"Hi, I'm not too early am I?  I didn't really have anywhere to go."

"Definitely not, the sooner the better, come on in."  My heart fluttered - did he really mean that?  Did he want me to take him literally?  I stepped in and soon as I'd shut the door behind me, he fixed me in a hug.  It was the brief, matey kind but a hug from Vic was a hug from Vic and something to be treasured.

"Thanks, I appreciate this," I said meekly.

"It's nothing!  Do you want a beer or anything?"

"A beer would be great thanks."

"Okay, one moment."

Soon enough we were both sat side by side on the sofa in Vic's lounge, beers in hand while we half-watched some old film that happened to be showing on TV.

"So what happened?"  Vic asked.

"With Jack?"

"Of course I mean with Jack."

"I thought you already knew."

"I know the brief version.  Now we have time I thought you might like to talk it over."  He was always so sensitive, considering everybody's feelings and trying to do what was best for them, mine and me included.  That was why I loved him.

"Ah, yeah, can I just have another beer first please, I've almost finished this one."

"Sure thing."   I wanted the alcohol to calm me down and give me the confidence to say what I wanted to say, even if I didn't want to say it.  And if Vic got a little more tipsy and relaxed around me, that wouldn't hurt either.  He soon returned to his place beside me and I began to talk.

"We'd been at th studio writing new material and it was lunch break, so Alex and Jack went off together.  I wasn't with them originally obviously, but I decided I'd catch up with them once I'd finished, and then I saw."

"What were they doing?"

"They weren't actually kissing or anything, but they didn't need to be.  It was obvious."

"It could just have been a misunderstanding or something."

"They'd hardly of reacted the way they did.  Besides, this just isn't what friends do."  I reiterated by leaning in closely to Vic and playing about with his strands of hair.  It was too good an opportunity to act like his boyfriend with a reason to miss out on.  He didn't flinch back or appear uncomfortable.

"Okay, I see your point.  Wow, I never would have expected it."

"You don't have to be all sympathetic you know.  It was kind of a relief."

Vic seemed surprised, and he leaned back and stayed silent for a moment as he passed me another beer.

"Seriously?  I wasn't expecting that either," he gave a little smile; "anything else you want to throw at me while you're at it?"  Just one, little, tiny detail...

"There's nothing else I'm interested in saying, no"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know Vic, I'm all messed up."  I shuffled towards him; "I always felt like with Jack everything was just for the sake of it.  As if we'd just gotten into this relationship a while ago and neither of us could remember why, we just felt like we ought to keep it going because it might be important."

"Well he obviously didn't," Vic pointed out with a touch of spitefulness.

"I'm sick of people taking my trust for granted.  Jack said he was going to treat me better than all those stupid girls and Craig."  Vic just turned and looked at my eyes meaningfully for long enough for my heart beat to speed up.

"You have me," he said simply.  I saw my moment and I went for it: for what Icould barely believe was the first time, I placed my hand firmly but gently on Vic's thigh as I leant in towards him and pressed my lips around his, sliding my tongue inside his mouth.  I was too infatuated to have been worried he'd push me away, but next thing I knew his hands were tousling my hair and pulling me closer to him at the same time.  I moved my hand from his thigh and began to climb on top of him and the concept of time was forgotten about as I lost myself in his familiar yet unknown exterior.

"It was always you," I whispered in his ear.

"I've wanted you all along," he replied as he pushed me back and undid the button on my black skinny jeans.  I tilted my head backwards and enjoyed the feeling of him undressing me slowly as I awaited my turn.  I pulled off the T-shirt Vic was wearing to reveal his tanned, toned chest and devoured it with my lips as his own jeans were ripped off.  We were both bone naked on Vic's sofa brown leather sofa and all that was in my mind was him: his chocolate eyes, his soft flesh and the erect item that was about to enter me.  Then the phone rang.  I ignored it at first and so did he - we were at our climax and nothing was going to stop us.  I leant in towards him again for a final time.  But the phone continued to blear 'All The Small Things' and it was soon followed by the doorbell ringing.

"Shit!" we cried in unison.  Instinctively, I grabbed my clothes off the floor and ran upstairs to the bathroom while Vic rapidly pulled on his own.  We didn't know who it was, but it didn't matter: whatever the case was, Vic had a girlfriend and I might still have a boyfriend, depending on which way you look at it.  When I was within the safe confinement of the bathroom I strained my ears to hear who was at the door, hoping it was just a postman or something so we could finish where we left off.  No such luck.

"You look startled baby, are you alright?"  the sickly, smug voice of Louisa wanna-be-Fuentes.  I broke down to the floor with a groan and thumped the floor.